Category Archives: Blog

Where Is My Investment? Where Is Yours?

Many have undertaken to draw up an account of the things that have been fulfilled among us, just as they were handed down to us by those who from the first were eyewitnesses and servants of the word. With this in mind, since I myself have carefully investigated everything from the beginning, I too decided to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught. – Luke 1:1-4

Luke addresses Theophilus as “most excellent”, indicating he could have been a high ranking Roman official. We really don’t know much about him, but Luke wrote not one, but two letters to him – the gospel of Luke, and the book of Acts. Clearly, Theophilus is a man that Luke was invested in on a spiritual level. He wrote to him so that Theophilus could have an assurance of the truth he had been taught. Perhaps doubts or confusion had been expressed, which is understandable, since Luke addresses the fact that many people have given their account of what had taken place. No doubt there were false stories, conflicting stories, and even deceiving stories, humanity being what it is and all.

I am intrigued, because I don’t think Luke wrote these historical accounts to this man in the hopes that they would someday become part of the holy scriptures. Apart from being called by God, perhaps without even realizing it, to write what would become two books of the bible, I believe Luke was genuinely attempting to disciple Theophilus to be able to walk in truth.

Luke was a physician. A man of science, if you will. And it is with that mind that he undertook this task to lay out the events that had taken place starting from the birth of the Christ, through His death and resurrection, and then the formation of His Church. He would have been thorough, methodical, and given to the gathering of as much proof as possible. Funny how God did that. Brought in a man who had not been one of the disciples, a man of science, to authenticate and document things of the Spirit.

Naturally, I have questions.

Who am I investing in? Who is benefitting from my own eyewitness testimony of God’s power?

We can all shout about what’s going on in the world around us today. We can tell anyone who will listen how horrible/great we think our government is or how we think the Church is failing by either taking too much or too little a stand in the political arena.

Anyone can do that.

But how many of us are quietly investing in someone else’s walk with Christ? Are we speaking more about what God has done and is doing in our own lives and in the world around us than we are about what the government is or isn’t doing wrong, or right?

We are called to endure. To keep going. To keep speaking the truth of salvation, the good news that we can be saved from our sin and from the wrath that will come. I can only speak for me, but I don’t think getting worked up over the latest political issue is enduring. It’s getting distracted by what we think is at stake, from what is actually at stake. Nothing this government, or this world, does is eternal. Souls are eternal. People are eternal, and they will be eternal in one of two places. With God, or without Him. God’s desire is that they be with Him.

Is that my desire? Is it yours? Where is the bulk of our investment of this life God has given to us?

From One Seed, Many

Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. (John 12:24)

This verse continually comes to mind in the days since Charlie Kirk’s murder, especially as I watch the aftermath happening around the world. Whatever your opinion of the man, you cannot deny that he had an incredible, positive impact in his short life.

I had followed him for a number of years, amazed at his ability to bring truth into every conversation, and to remain unmoved by the hatred he encountered. I have watched innumerable videos of his debates, his speeches, etc., and I found him to be a loving, compassionate man who cared for this nation and the young people who will inherit it. I saw no evidence of the racism and other derogatory terms he has been tagged with by some.

His faith, and his courage to live it in the face of so much opposition is inspiring so many in this nation, and beyond. He inspired people to return to God and to the Church, to be bold with their faith and the gospel, to marry and have children, to work hard, to love their wives and husbands, and to stand up for the conservative values that first formed this country.

For me personally, he has inspired me out of silence. I am not a debater. I believe Charlie Kirk was anointed and called to do what he did and that’s why he did it so well. But I have a voice and I carry the Spirit of Truth within me. I can be bold in the places God has assigned me to go. I can stop staying silent just to keep the peace or not ruffle feathers. I can stop having a passive faith.

Charlie Kirk was a man whose life, work, and faith should be celebrated, respected, and remembered – but not worshipped. We may be on the brink of elevating him to a place that even he would not take himself. So I do offer the warning that many great men have lived and died and should be remembered for their faithful service, but not a single one of them deserves our worship, and they would agree.

What God does with the seed that was Charlie Kirk is yet to be fully seen, but we do know that His Spirit is moving right now in ways we never imagined, both here and around the world. The testimonies are out there. Unfortunately, they are often being drowned out by the finger pointing and raging from those who did not agree with Charlie. But they are there. I’ve heard them. And I think it’s only beginning.

From the death of one seed, may many, many more come to life.

Marriage Matters—What Have You Learned?

“Lord, what have I learned about marriage over all these years?”

Loaded question potential right there.

His answer could be either “not nearly enough” or “quite a lot.” But what I heard back wasn’t either of those answers.

The question isn’t “how much have you learned”, but “how much do you obey what you’ve learned?”

*head goes back* Ugh.

Fine. But for the purpose of this blog post, I’m going to stick to what I’ve learned and we can all just assume I don’t always have stellar follow through. Fair?

And He said to all, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. (Luke 9:23)

Self-denial is the life of a Christian, but it is practiced most vigorously in the context of marriage. In the beginning it doesn’t really feel like dying, you know? When all you want is the happiness of this wonderful creature who now shares your bathroom. And then.

One day you realize they are insanely messy with no rhyme or reason to the way they live their life on the daily, and have an “I’ll get to it when I get to it” code for life. They never turn off lights, have the sleep schedule of a toddler, prefer to talk in partial sentences and let you figure out the rest, and would live on “something snacky” if you let them. And if you tell them they can’t do something it’s a sure thing they’ll do that thing, even if they don’t really want to do that thing. Because, don’t tell them what to do. Besides all that, what makes them laugh one day makes them cry the next day, and you don’t know what day it is, ever (all of that is me, by the way. all me.).

Those are the more lighthearted things my husband has learned about me. There are more, less lighthearted, that we’ve both learned about one another. Things that broke us. Hurt us. Almost ended us.

And this is where the dying begins in earnest. Where the forgiveness, grace, humility, and bearing with one another that the bible talks about becomes the fork in the road. Follow Jesus, or do it our own way. One brings life, the other brings death.

Marriage has taught me how to be kind when I don’t want to be kind. How to swallow my pride and apologize for my snarky tone of voice that they clearly deserved. How to forgive even the egregious, because I was forgiven by Jesus and have no other leg to stand on.

The statement “marriage is hard” is such an understatement. But so is “marriage is good.” Both are true at the very same time, because while we make it hard, God made it good.

Every lesson I’ve learned about following Jesus, I’ve learned in the context of marriage. And one of the most shameful things I discovered is that I was a way better Christian to other people than I was to my husband. Oof. That was hard to admit, but I know I am not the only one who can say it and hopefully by going first, someone else will find the courage to admit it so that it can change.

God has taught me more through marriage than I could ever convey on this page. Surprisingly, or maybe not, is that He has used marriage to teach me more about Himself than about me, or my husband. I’ve learned that He is everything I need. That He is so very good. Faithful. Patient. Full of grace and generous with compassion, and powerful enough to change hearts and minds that we could never have changed on our own.

Think about it…

? What is the hardest thing you’ve learned through marriage?

? What is the best thing you’ve learned through marriage?

? How are you doing at obeying what you’ve learned?

The View From My Comfort

I’ve been sitting here looking out my window and thinking how pretty it looks out there. Everything is green, the skies are clear, and there’s a slight breeze that moves the leaves on the tree in the prettiest way. But I live in Texas and this is July, so I know the truth. Outside of my air-conditioned comfort zone it is hot and muggy, and within minutes I will want to go back inside, because the view of something and the experience of that same thing are often very different.

From my window, I can see the homes of my neighbors and it looks like most streets in middle-class suburbia. But the reality is that behind the walls of the majority of those homes, there is suffering taking place. Illness. Broken relationships. Financial stress. Depression. Suicidal thoughts. For all of us, what is seen on the outside rarely reveals what is on the inside.

As these thoughts creeped in, I thought of what we see when our view is of Jesus, through the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

The man with leprosy (Mark 1:40–45). The paralytic lowered through the roof (Mark 2:1–12). The woman with the issue of blood (Mark 5:25–34). Jairus (synagogue leader) and his daughter (Mark 5:21–43). The Gadarene demoniac (Mark 5:1–20). The centurion (and his servant) (Matthew 8:5–13). The blind men (including Bartimaeus) (Mark 10:46–52). The ten lepers (Luke 17:11–19). The widow of Nain (Luke 7:11–17). The crippled woman in the synagogue (Luke 13:10–17).

In all of these, Jesus viewed no suffering from a distance or from a place of comfort. He didn’t send up thoughts or prayers, or put a check in the mail. Instead, He touched the suffering, wept with them, spoke to them and comforted them face to face.

And one day He said this to His disciples – “If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also.” (John 12:26)

We all live in places where there is suffering, and it isn’t limited to the poor or the homeless. In this fallen world suffering comes to both the sick and the poor and the healthy and the wealty. It is no repecter of persons, and we live among them all, carrying His presence with us.

The question is, are we looking at them from our places of comfort, or from our willingness to reach out and touch them? To get face to face with them, sit in it with them, weep with them, share the love of the Father with them?

This is what makes us followers of Christ. This is what makes us missionaries. Not that we went across the world, but that we touched the suffering around us with the love, compassion, and power of Jesus.

Jesus didn’t have these encounters every day. Many times we read of Him sitting in a boat or in the synagogue, teaching. Sometimes He was just with His disciples and sometimes He went off on His own to be with His Father in prayer. All of this was the ministry of the Messiah, and as He went, He encountered the suffering of humanity and He touched it.

When you think of the scriptures and how they describe Jesus, what word comes to mind? For me, it’s compassion. He was filled with compassion, moved with compassion, and acted out of compassion. He showed compassion far more than He showed empathy. The difference is empathy feels, compassion acts.

We are called to serve Him by following Him. If we are going to do that, we cannot continue to just have a view of the world from our place of comfort.

Father, move us from our complacency, from our love of comfort. Give us the heart to desire to touch those who are suffering around us. Give us compassion more than empathy. I pray that You will make my own comfort zone uncomfortable, and that You will give me face to face encounters with those around me who need Your love and compassion.

I Feel Old. And Weird. And Hopeful.

No forethought, really, just letting my fingers type my thoughts.

For awhile I couldn’t really tell that I was getting old, unless I consulted my physical body, which always seemed delighted to tell me the truth about my lost youth. My body and I are no longer on speaking terms.

But now. I don’t know. I feel it deeper than just physically.

When I look at the world around me and what has happened just over the last decade or so, I feel like someone from another time, finding myself in a world that has shape shifted into something I don’t recognize.

Strange people protesting strange things.

Everywhere I look someone is offended at someone or something.

Why does who I voted for offend you? I mean, when did that become a thing?

How can it be a debate that we don’t let children decide their gender?

How does it take legislation to prevent doctors from mutilating a child’s body for the sake of a delusion that is actually a mental illness?

How are we a society that now fights to keep parents from having the authority to not go along with their child’s desire to be something that, genetically, they are not and odds are they won’t desire in a few years?

I mean, when did we, as a culture, start going after the children – the ones who need our protection the most? I know it’s always been a thing, evil targeting kids, but when did it become something that people are ok publically fighting for rather than against? How did that even happen? When did America lose its mind?

When did we start applauding violence toward people and their property simply because they don’t agree with us? And oh my gosh, when and how did it become ok to spit in the face of anyone, much less a police officer? When did our respect for all authority get flushed down a toilet? I understand that corruption exists, and it makes us angry, and I am all for the right and responsiblity to protest corruption and injustice. But what’s happening right now feels different. Demonic. Lawless. Complete and utter rebellion, and a society that accepts it and even applauds it.

How on earth did we get here?

I feel the oldness now. Not just in my body, but in my soul. Like I slept too long and woke up in a foreign place. Unable to find my way around, because nothing is familiar. It feels like a tsmanami that just keeps coming, destroying everything with a darkness that is palpable.

But yes. I know the ending. I know God remains enthroned above the circle of the earth and He raises nations and kings and He brings them down and all of this must take place before the end comes and Jesus returns in glory.

Honestly, if I didn’t know all that, there are days when I don’t think I would have any desire to continue living on this earth. Thankfully, I do know all that.

But still the thoughts come. The grieving comes. Because my grandchildren are growing up in this world that has gone awry. In a world where truth is subjective and morality isn’t really a thing and people are buck naked crazy but everyone pretends they aren’t.

It makes me feel not just old, but almost helpless. Except.

I know the One enthroned. He inclines His ear to me. He moves me to prayer and to believe that my voice matters more in heaven than it does on earth. So I pray for the little ones who carry the future of this place that is so strange to me now.

I pray they will be awakened from the slumber that has come upon this land and its people, and that they will recognize truth from lie. That they will shake off offense and fear and the lure of the carnal, and choose to take up sword and shield and fight a spiritual battle that matters more than any other war being fought by men. That they will know the urgency of the gospel and that it is far more important than what a government is doing or not doing.

I pray for a generation of children to know the light, carry the light, and live in the light of Christ for the sake of a lost world. That they will have the spiritual maturity, even at a young age, to resist the pull of this world and keep their feet firmly planted on the Word of God. I pray for rescuers, not to rescue a country, but to rescue souls from eternal darkness.

I may feel old, but in my spirit there remains a hope that still feels young. Fresh. Alive. I am learning to embrace both. To be ok with weirdness and with the passing of time, as I remain full of hope and full of prayer.

Thanks for listening. Maybe you feel some of these things as well? Maybe you disagree with every word of it, except the part that I may be weird. That’s ok. You are entitled to your opinion, and I’m not offended by it. See how easy that is?

Tent Pegs

We raised our kids in Illinois. After years of apartments, we finally bought a home. We both had jobs, we had a church home, our kids had friends and school. The relationship dynamics in our family were a trainwreck on fire, but there we were, firmly planted.

Then my husband lost his job. He worked off and on, trying to find a steady job in an unsteady job market.

Then my son left for college in Texas. A couple of years later his sister joined him in Texas and my nest was empty and that was that.

In 2008 the housing market crashed with a bang.

Then, I suddenly lost my job that I had been at for 8 years, due to a missed deadline. Total fluke. Total confusion as to why I would be let go.

Now we had no income except unemployment, and a mortgage that was now upside down, meaning we owed more than we could have gotten for the house if we sold it, because of the crash.

Tent pegs. This was the picture God was giving me. A large tent held in place by firmly planted tent pegs, and now, one by one, those pegs were snapping out of the ground. Why? Because it was time for us to move and we weren’t going to move as long as the things we trusted in were holding our tent up.

God had begun to plant the seed that He was calling us to move, but we kept brushing it off. We had jobs, a home, deep roots right where we were, so it would be foolish to just pack up and move. We weren’t young and carefree anymore. We had stuff.

So one by one, the tent pegs snapped. And then one day we had packed what we hadn’t sold off into a u-haul truck and set out for Texas. No jobs, no community, just faith that God was calling us there and would take care of us.

This July will be 13 years since the day we pulled into Waco, and so much has happened since then. Kids married, grandkids have come, kids have moved away, we’ve finally bought another home, and here we are. And I find myself asking God, what are our tent pegs now, in this season of our lives, and are they keeping us from what You have for us?

Tent pegs. They hold the tent in place, but more significantly, they are what we trust to hold the tent in place.

They become our reasons, then our excuses, for staying in a place, even a place that has become unhealthy or barren. Because change is hard and scary and we’re a cautious, even nervous, people.

A house. A job. Friends. Family. A church. Provision. A place in the community. A ministry. Deeply rooted tent pegs. Things we trust in to keep our world spinning in familiar directions at a familiar pace. Things we can’t imagine leaving because they offer us comfort, purpose, belonging, and safety.

Tent pegs are good, until they become our excuse to stay when God may be calling us to go.

So what are your tent pegs? What holds you here, wherever here is? What would your reasons be for not dropping your nets, or selling all you have and giving it to the poor, or getting in the boat? Leaving that job, that town, that state, or that church? I’m not talking about irresponsibly leaving on a whim. We’re all grownups here and we know that’s not how it works. I’m talking about hearing or sensing the call of God to pull up stakes and follow Him into something new, even if it’s scary. Even if we can’t figure out how it would work. Even if we don’t understand it, and can’t control it. Gasp.

He sends us. Leads us to new places to work, to minister, to live and to reflect His image. The question is would we go? Or would we assume that it wasn’t God calling us because why would He take us from this place where we have invested and worked and ministered? Why would He take us from our land of provision, ministry, community, and maybe even family? Why would He call us into something, and then call us out of it?

Maybe…

– Because He has plans we know nothing of, sees what we can’t possibly see and knows what we can’t possibly know.

– Because we gave our life to Him and called Him Lord and said we would follow Him.

– Because He has no need to be concerned that we won’t find another job or a place to live or any other thing we need. He knows what He can do, and He asks us to trust what He can do.

What are your tent pegs? Are they keeping you from following God to the next place?

Naked & Ashamed

I was sitting at a table lost in thought, minding my own business, when a woman walked by right as I looked up from my bible. Her body language, the hair she used to obscure her face, the sweater pulled around her, I noticed all of it in a nano second as the Holy Spirit whispered “she is ashamed and afraid of being exposed.” And that began thirty minutes of playing connect the dots until what God wanted me to see began to emerge. So hang with me and I’ll see if I can re-connect them here.

Shame…

  • Genesis 2;25 – “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”
  • Genesis 3:7 – “Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.”

Sin had opened their eyes to their nakedness. They had always been naked, but they had neither the realization of nakedness, nor the shame of it. This was now the condition of their disobedience. Naked and ashamed.

  • Daniel 12:1-2 – “At that time Michael, the great prince who protects your people, will arise. There will be a time of distress such as has not happened from the beginning of nations until then. But at that time your people—everyone whose name is found written in the book—will be delivered. Multitudes who sleep in the dust of the earth will awake: some to everlasting life, others to shame and everlasting contempt.”

Shame will be the condition of every person who is bound for an eternity without God (hell), because the condition of Adam & Eve’s disobedience now follows their children.

  • Romans 10:11 – “If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.”

Shame wants us to hide, not just ourselves, but hide our sin.

So I speak to the Beloved, to the children of God – shame has no part in you. Guilt, ok. Conviction, absolutely. These things will move us toward God, toward repentance.

  • 1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
  • James 5:19: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

Confession is a weapon against the feeling of shame. It isn’t easy by any means. Hard stuff to come out of hiding and let our sin be exposed, but that is where the cleansing comes, where we find healing.

There just isn’t any other way but His way, and everything is so much better His way.

Naked…

  • Zechariah 3:4 – “Now Joshua was dressed in filthy clothes as he stood before the angel. The angel said to those who were standing before him, “Take off his filthy clothes.” Then he said to Joshua, “See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put fine garments on you.”
  • Galatians 3:26-27 – “So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.”
  • Revelation 7:9 – “After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands.”

So to the one who is head down, face covered, trying to disappear in your shame – Jesus covers you. Clothes you with clean garments, robes of His righteousness; in fact, you are clothed with Him.

  • Isaiah 1:18 – “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”

He has not left you naked and ashamed, He has made you covered and forgiven. Walk in the truth, my friend.