Category Archives: Blog

through the holy place

Torn011“At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.” Matthew 27:51

The veil that was rent separated the Holy Place from the Most Holy Place, the place of God’s presence. The tearing of the curtain signifies that with His atoning death we now have access to the presence of God.  It is not a small detail, this torn curtain that now allows us to approach God ourselves.  In the past, only the high priest could enter beyond the veil, one time a year, with fear and trembling. One wrong move would mean his death.

I have recently found myself longing for the presence of God. I’ve also found myself blaming the lack of His “presence” on other people. The teachings at church, the worship service, the apathy of those in the congregation. The things and people that constantly interrupt my life. I am not alone. There has been a grasping for something to explain the absence of the presence of God among many of His people. This morning, as I read about the death of Jesus, my eyes fixed themselves on the torn curtain, and a thought began to form.

“A way was made for you to enter the Most Holy Place. But you must still pass through the Holy Place.” That was the thought, and I can’t seem to let it go. So I feel the need to look at the Holy Place.

There were three items of significance in the Holy Place. The lampstand, the table of showbread, and the altar of incense.

Lampstand:  Made up of seven lamps. They were to be kept burning day and night. According to the notes and commentaries I read, the light from the lamps represented the glory of the Lord reflected in the consecrated lives of the Israelites. The oil for the lamps was to be supplied to the high priest by the people.

Table of Showbread:  The table contained twelve loaves of bread at all times, one for each tribe of Israel. It represented Israel’s declaration that the fruits of its labors were consecrated to God, and had been provided by God’s blessing.

Altar of Incense:  The incense represented prayer, and was to burn regularly before God.

This is the Holy Place. The place we must pass through to approach the Most Holy Place.  I have to look at all of this from the perspective of what it means for me, a woman craving the presence of God.

My life must be fully consecrated to God, completely given over for Him, allowing it to reflect His glory.  I cannot maintain that level of consecration without the Holy Spirit (the oil).  While I received the Holy Spirit at salvation, there is a continual filling available to me. Have I sought after that? Not for a long time.

The fruit of my labors must also be given over to God, and with it the acknowledgment that were it not for His blessing, there would be no fruit.  All that I do that is good is for Him, and because of Him. Humility and gratitude are in the Holy Place.

A life of prayer. Not rote lip service, but faith filled prayer must mark my life. It is the relationship with my Father, the communion of meeting with Him in the secret place.  The fragrent offering that should burn in my life.

A life layed down and filled with His Spirit, marked by humility and gratitude, with  a fragrent offering arising from a believing heart.

From the Holy Place into the Most Holy Place.

the end

“The end is near!” We usually see that statement written on a sandwich board being worn by a crazy looking guy who looks like he hasn’t showered in a month. You know…in the movies. As Hollywood’s obligatory smirk at the Christian idea that there really is going to be an “end”.  I doubt there’s going to be enough time for an “I told you so” when the end that was near becomes the end that is here, but something in me thinks it would feel really good.

The 24th chapter of Matthew has Jesus Himself wearing the sandwich board. As I read it I imagine the looks on the faces of His disciples as He told them the story of “the end”, a story they, and all those that come after them would take part in.  You and I are those that come after them. We are living in the story of “the end”, and it is nearer now than it was then. So I’m listening.

~ “Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in My name, claiming ‘I am the Christ’, and will deceive many.” (24:4-5)

Deception is rampant, and will only increase. I don’t want to be one of ‘many’. I want to be numbered with those who have followed Him closely enough to know His truth and His presence. I want to be with those who know that when He returns, He will not need to “claim” to be the Christ. It will be unmistakable. 

~ “You will hear of wars and rumors of war, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come.” (24:6)

Are we not just easily alarmed? That’s more of a statement than a question, actually, so don’t try to answer it. Every new twist in the story alarms us. Every election, every law that’s passed, every talk of war, every sign that things are getting darker, causes us, the Church, to cry out with alarm. We become more and more indignant that things are getting so much worse, so out of control, so unchristianly.  We start passing around petitions and staging protests, as though man has any power to stop the page from turning. We live as though we are “in the beginning”. But we aren’t. We are living in “the end”. It is no place for alarm.

~ “Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of Me.” (24:9)

Yes, we will be persecuted and hated. Many will die for their faith. There will be great deception and wickedness will increase. The love of many will grow cold. The end holds great, unequaled distress. The sun will darken and there will be no light from the moon. Stars will fall from the sky.  It is the story of “the end”. But then…

~ “At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all the nations of the earth will mourn. They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.” (24:30-31)

And the end will be over. And we, His Church, will enter into the beginning of something beautiful, something beyond our comprehension. A beginning with no end.

 May every new twist and turn, every event, every evidence of the increase of darkness, cause us to look heavenward, unalarmed and undeceived. And may we determine to draw our hearts ever closer to Him until at last we see Him face to face.

The end is near. Don’t be alarmed. It’s a good thing.

the forgiveness question

The question today is “do we need to forgive someone who has not asked to be forgiven?”. The question is valid, and arises from my recent post, “how many times”.

I find only one place in scripture that seems to indicate that my forgiveness of someone’s sin against me is contingent upon their repentence. Luke 17:3-4 – “So watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.  If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”

On the other hand…

 “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25

 “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:12-13

I find it curious that Luke 17:3 begins with “So watch yourselves.” This tells me that what follows is about me, not about someone else. In other words, the scripture is about my willingness to forgive, not their repentance. If the emphasis were on their repentance, I wouldn’t need to watch myself, I’d need to watch them. Which is what I’m usually doing. And that’s why Jesus has to keep turning it back to me, to my heart, not theirs.

I am commanded in scripture to forgive. I have yet to find a scripture that commands me not to forgive, for any reason. Yet the common sense in me says that there must be something in exchange for forgiveness. If we are to forgive “as the Lord forgave”, then we should require repentance first. This is how our mind works, and it becomes the way our heart works. Before you know it, we hold onto our forgiveness, doling it out only when someone has met the demand for proof that they deserve it. Forgiveness not given away becomes unforgiveness, which turns to bitterness. Bitterness makes unity very unlikely, and love even more unlikely.  This is why forgiveness is more about us than about the one who sinned against us.

And, there is one major difference between God’s forgiveness and my forgiveness.

I didn’t have to die so that you could be forgiven.  I just have to give you what has already been given to me. I’d much rather have a heart that gives it freely, than to have one that demands you ask for it.

how many times?

Matthew 18:21-35 stands in stark contrast to a particular theory prevalent in the counsel many receive, both secular and christian.  The question of “how many times” is answered by many with “not enough to enable them”.

Peter asked Jesus how many times he had to forgive his brother when he sinned against him.  Seven times? That probably sounded like a fairly generous number. But Jesus is far more generous than we are. “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (v.22) By the way, the definition of that number is “countless times”.

Jesus then went into the parable of the unmerciful servant, explaining that God has forgiven us of all of our debt, and so we should do likewise to our fellow man. And just so we don’t think we jumped into the shallow end of the pool, He adds “from your heart”.  That means we forgive, countless times, from the very center of our being. We forgive with our will, our emotions and our thoughts.  Countless times. The same brother, the same sin.

The definition of “forgive” in this passage is to release a debt, to “let go”. How many times have we said we have “forgiven” someone, but never let go of what they did to us? We forgave with our words, but we remain angry, we continue to think about what they did, how many times they did it and why they did it.  Our response to the countless times they’ve sinned against us is often to cut them out of our life, or at least out of our hearts.  We punish with silence, with anger and with detachment, all while saying they are forgiven.

We are called to more than lip service. We are called to release people from the debt of their sin against us, from our hearts. And it’s hard. Being a follower of Christ is not sissy work. This passage in Matthew is not about “enabling” or “disabling”. It’s not about trying to figure out how many times is too many. It’s about forgiving, and as with everything else Jesus taught, it becomes about our own heart.

On the surface, the enablement theory sounds good, like we have the “sinner’s” best interests at heart. It alludes to the idea that if we don’t “enable”, we will somehow “disable” their sin. The problem is that we have no power to “disable” anyone from sinning. Sin has it’s beginning in the heart, and power over the human heart belongs to God alone.

I really think the enablement theory is about us, the person being sinned against. Its our “out” from the “countless times” of having to forgive someone. It’s our way of making forgiveness make sense. It’s what we’re prone to, this constant attempt to make God’s ways seem logical, to fit our “common sense” way of thinking. But He is not a common God, and if His ways made sense to us, they wouldn’t be His ways. They would be our ways.

Countless times. Over and over. Forgive. Why would Jesus command such a thing of us? Perhaps part of the answer lies in listening to the answer to a different question.

“Father, how many times are You going to forgive me for sinning against You?”

“Countless times”.

more than enough

Five loaves and two fish. That’s it, that’s all the disciples had. With these meager supplies Jesus fed a lot of people, but that’s not really what I find so fascinating in this passage. (Matthew 14:13-21)

Over five thousand people were gathered in this remote place. They didn’t catch a plane or hop in their cars to get there. They walked. Let’s picture for a second what it would look like to see more than 5,000 people walking anywhere. And then let’s ponder why they were willing to follow a man, on foot, to a remote place. They weren’t heading to an arena or a stadium with theater style seating. No worship band would be there. No one would be selling books, cds or dvds. No lineup of speakers to give carefully prepared messages. Nothing advertising a “move of the Spirit.”  More than 5,000 people walked to just be with Jesus. And ever true to who He is, He “had compassion on them and healed their sick.” (v.14)

So I ask you what I asked myself. When was the last time you went out of your way just to be with Jesus? No worship music, mesmerizing sermon, or cd’s for sale. Just the One who is compassion and healing and truth. “It’s been awhile”, I answered myself.

 I guess in all fairness to us, they had someone they could actually see and hear. Someone in physical form to follow. Then again…

“Then Jesus told him, ‘Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.’” John 20:29

Is it possible for us to believe that 5,000 of us could gather together and find healing and compassion from Jesus? Just Jesus, without all the prep work we do, the musicians, the ambience, lights, videos and cameras. No microphones or sound boards. No candles or mood lighting. Just us, and Him. And does the thought of that seem as weird to you as it does to me, given what we have become so accustomed to? Given our craving to be entertained more than healed? I’m just asking.

And what about those loaves and the fish? My eyes skim over the fact that Jesus miraculously fed over 5,000 people and had leftovers, and land on the command He gave. “Bring them here to Me”… (v. 18)

We have so little, really. Our giftings, talents, money, time, compassion, mercy…those of us with the most of all of these, still have so little, here in the shadow of God. And we know it, deep down. Our “so little” is the root for so much of our anxiety and fear, because we know we don’t have enough. There isn’t enough time to do what needs to be done. Not enough money to build what needs to be built. Not enough energy to shepherd the flocks of God. Not enough of anything to build God’s Kingdom.

It’s when we “Bring them here to Me”, that what little we have becomes more than enough.

And that makes me want to go out of my way to be with Him. Just Him.

the wheat forgets

Today was parable day as I followed Jesus into Matthew 13.  To be honest, parables are like riddles, and while I rock at puzzles, riddles make my head hurt.  Fortunately, the disciples were also riddle challenged, so Jesus explained His parables to them. I found the one about the wheat and tares particularly interesting today, so naturally, it becomes fodder for my blog.

In Matthew 13:24-30 Jesus gives the parable of the wheat and tares. Then in verses 36-43 He explains the parable. Let’s discuss, shall we?

In the parable, a man sowed good seed into his field, and then an enemy came in, unseen, and sowed weeds among the wheat seeds. When the wheat began to sprout, so did the weeds. So the servants asked the field owner if they should go into the field and pull up the weeds. The owner said no, let them both grow together, because if you try to pull up the weeds, you might pull up some of the wheat too. At harvest time, my reapers will gather the weeds and burn them, and then they will gather my wheat and bring it into my barn.

Jesus then explained that He represents the man who sowed the seed. The field is the earth, and the seed He sowed are Christians (sons of the Kingdom). The weeds are the sons of the wicked one, sown by Satan. The harvest is the end of the age, and the reapers are the angels.

So, I need to process this, and by process, I don’t mean create doctrine. I mostly mean speculate.

I am God’s good seed, and He has sown me into the world. I am where I am because He has planted me here. At the end of the age, I will be part of His great harvest, but I was not planted alone. I am planted with other seed like me, and together we are the harvest. My purpose is the same as theirs…to bring forth a crop…to bear Him fruit.

But the wheat is not alone. As it turns out, the earth is not just a wheat field. Not yet. The enemy has planted his own sons in the same field with the son’s of God, and it is God’s intention to leave them there, for now. Until harvest time. In the meantime, what does the wheat do about all these weeds?

Wheat and weeds, growing closely together. And by God’s own intention, the weeds are not to be gathered out of the field, because of the possibility of pulling up wheat. Could it be that sometimes wheat can look like a weed? If so, God clearly doesn’t want that ‘weedy looking wheat’ accidently pulled up with the weeds…which means God still considers it wheat, even if it looks like a weed. But I’m just speculating. Then again, if I’m wrong, what do we do about Peter? Remember him? Denied Christ three times. Was he wheat that became a weed and then turned back into wheat? Or was he wheat that looked suspiciously like a weed for awhile… wheat that Jesus prayed for.

I think sometimes, wheat is afraid of weeds. So they attempt to carve out a section of the field that is “weed free”. They don’t associate with weeds, won’t work in the same place that weeds work, won’t go to school with weeds, and can be heard treating the weeds with great contempt, despising them because they aren’t wheat. Wheat can become very distracted from their purpose (bringing forth fruit) because they are so busy watching and chastising the weeds. For being weeds.

I think wheat acts like that somtimes because it’s forgetful. That’s all. The wheat has simply forgotten.

“Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior.” Colossians 1:21

Wheat forgets that it was once a weed.

I think my speculating might make me a little unpopular. At least with the wheat. Especially the forgetful ones.

the overflow

Just yesterday I had a thought and decided I probably should not give it a voice. But then today I did my reading in Matthew and realized I needed to talk. I’ll talk to myself. You can listen if you’d like.

After reading a few things on the internet yesterday, here is the thought that popped into my head:  “Most of the christian bashing I hear and read, is done by other christians.” Being a christian myself, you can see why I thought it best to keep that thought to myself. And then I read Matthew 12:33-37, and one line leaped off of the page and slammed right into my brain, giving me what is at least a headache, but may quite possibly be a concussion. I should probably skip today’s nap, just in case.

“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.  You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.  The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.  But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.  For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Some of the things I have read, heard and spoken in the past few months, even years, are telling on the heart of the Church, on my own heart.  We bash pastors, churches and fellow christians. It seems we are always on the lookout for what christians are doing wrong, bringing into question whether they are “really” christians, or at a minimum, what kind of christian they are. Of course, because we are, after all, christians, we wrap it all up, put a big bow on it and call it “speaking the truth in love”. And then we go back to adjusting our robes and polishing our gavels.

To be fair, we don’t always go to that extreme. We keep a tighter rein on our tongues by limiting ourselves to complaining and grumbling against our brothers and sisters. We question their motives and their methods, and their true devotion, as though we ourselves are the barometer for all things right and true.

I do this. Me. I say ‘we’, because I’ve listened to ‘we’ so I know it’s ‘we’, but right now God is dealing with the ‘I’ in ‘we’.

They say that we can’t know what is in another person’s heart. Jesus begs to differ. All we have to do is listen. I have listened to the overflow of my own heart, and I am grieved. I am especially pained by the fact that I have caused others to get caught in my overflow.

Based on what I’ve seen, I do not have a tongue problem. I have a heart problem. I don’t want a heart like mine, I want a heart like His. So I listen to the overflow of God’s heart for His Church…and begin to seek an exchange of hearts. Mine for His.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—  for we are members of His body.”  Ephesians 5:25-28

Today, I apologize to His Church, His Bride, especially those who have found themselves caught in my overflow. I have not loved you as He has loved you. Today, I am going after His heart for you, because I want to change the overflow of mine.