Tag Archives: church

Forty Days of Praying The Word of God: Day 1

“As a deer longs for streams of water, so I long for You, God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I come and appear before God?”

Psalm 42:1-2

Lord, I pray these verses over Your Church. I pray that those who belong to You through the blood of Christ will begin to long, to thirst for You. I pray that our souls will begin to feel parched for Your presence. I ask God, that You would move upon Your people to stop filling themselves with other things, even good things, so that they begin to thirst for the better thing – Your presence. I pray for a move of Your Spirit to begin to send the Church into the secret place of prayer and communion with You, a place away from the crowds of followers, away from the spotlights, away from the applause, and into the holy place of Your presence. I pray for a great wave of dissatisfaction with earthly pleasures to hit Your people, driving them to seek to be satisfied in You alone.

The power is Yours alone. We cannot muster the thirst, we cannot move our own souls to be dissatisfied. It is only by the move of Your Spirit that Your people will begin to long once again for the authentic presence of God that comes with no applause, nothing to entertain our flesh, but instead comes with the searing gaze of heaven, leaving us with a trembling of soul, with speechless awe and the low bow of a surrendered heart.

Come, Lord God, and make Your people long for You like never before.

In the Name of Jesus. Amen.

Postscript: For the last two years or so, God has been calling me back to intercession. Learning to pray God’s Word back to Him in 2004 was an explosion in my prayer life, an explosion that set me on fire for prayer, and that lit up the darkness that surrounded me and my family at the time. I invite you to join me in this 40 day journey of fire, lighting up the darkness of our day.

Feel free to leave prayers of your own, or prayer requests in the comment section. I would love to pray with and for you!

the Church, a coming storm and let’s just close the door

Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.

Hebrews 12:1-2

The witnesses. What are they seeing as they peer through the realms at the Church all these many years after them? The ones who left such a legacy of faith in the face of the impossible. And all who have come since, those who endured (and are enduring even today) persecution, oppression, imprisonment, and death. For what whom? For Jesus and His Gospel. That’s it.

But they are not the only witnesses. The world is watching our nation right now, and they are watching the Church. What are the believers in Iraq and Iran and Turkey and Libya and Pakistan and two fistfuls of other countries who persecute and kill Christians, witnessing as they watch us? What does the underground Church in China see when they look at the aboveground Church in the west?

We are being watched and heard and we should be downright disturbed at the thought. Uncomfortable at the very least.

Do they see faith? Do they see love? Do they see a Church whose eyes are fixed on Jesus?

Or are they witnessing us wade into the political and cultural cesspool of this world, shouting our indignation at what the world is doing and speaking and thinking and being? And have they noticed that we are mostly shouting at one another? Brothers and sisters fighting, drawing blood, over…what? Political opinions? Who we voted for? How much faith does it take to be angry and opinionated and downright mean? How much faith is required to be a Democrat or a Republican? How much love is needed to call someone evil that we’ve never met, had a conversation with, or even seen in person? Mothers and fathers and husbands and wives to someone. People who have their own battles within that we know nothing of. In a culture where the vast majority of our information is based on rumors and opinions, how much precious time are we wasting believing the worst of what we hear?

Are they watching us believe what “reliable news sources” are saying, but struggling to believe what God has said? Do they see us believe that Trump is evil and racist and a dictator / Biden is a pedophile with Alzheimer’s who is nothing more than a puppet – because people on the internet said so, while we walk in crippling fear and anxiety even though God has told us not to fear and to be anxious for nothing? And by the way, has anyone else noticed that we have been judging the hearts – the motives and intentions – of men and women we do not actually know? Have we ever considered that we are stepping on the toes of the Holy One when we dare to assume that we know what is in the hearts of other people?

Do the persecuted see a Church that is with them in the fight of faith for the souls of the lost, or do they just see us fighting for whatever platform we have chosen to fly our flag from? Come on. Someone cough or shift in their seat or get up and leave the room. Or be brave and say ‘amen’. Something to indicate this is hitting someone besides me.

We can do better, beloved, I know we can. We can choose where our gaze is directed. We can choose what we have ears to hear. We can choose to either speak life or speak death. We can choose to love in our thoughts, our words, and our actions. We can choose to believe that God stills works all things for good and for glory and for a perfect purpose. We can choose to tend to the one anothers among us no matter their gender, color, or political opinions. We can choose to live our lives worthy of the Gospel, worthy of the grace and mercy and redemption we have received. Worthy of the One, the only One, deserving of our deepest affections and allegiance.

Some of us feel run over from trying to fight this cultural and political war. But here’s a thought: the cultural/political war is a spiritual war and we have been fully equipped to fight a spiritual war in Christ. We need to stop separating what is happening on the world stage from what is happening in the heavens. Maybe that sounds contradictory to what I’ve said above, but it isn’t.

We haven’t been fighting the wrong war, we’ve just been fighting it the wrong way (hint: think friendly fire, think wrestling against flesh & blood).

When we trust what our eyes and ears are seeing and hearing in the natural and respond accordingly, we are fighting wrong. When we begin to see brothers and sisters through a political lens, we are fighting wrong. When we spend more time on the internet than in the word of God, we are fighting wrong.

And, (pull in your toes cause I’m about to step on ’em) when we choose to take a political side, we are fighting wrong.

When Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua approached him and asked, “Are you for us or for our enemies?” “Neither,” he replied. “I have now come as commander of the Lord’s army.”

Joshua 5:13-14

Beloved, heaven is the side we take, every day all day. And let me just go ahead and state the obvious – heaven is neither Republican nor Democrat. Heaven isn’t rooting for either party. Heaven doesn’t have a platform or a political viewpoint. Heaven has a plan of salvation. Heaven’s agenda is redemption and reconciliation.

Heaven is the dwelling place of the Lord God Almighty, who commands an army beyond anything we can imagine. Heaven is where the Holy God, our Father, sits on the throne of thrones, ruling and reigning and rescuing wretches like you and me from the dominion of darkness. Wretches like Trump and Biden and all the other people we’ve chosen to love or hate.

Heaven is where the risen Christ, our Lord and our Savior, sits at the right hand of the Father, interceding for us. He is not interceding for a political race to go His way, He is praying for you and for me. Praying for His Church in this hour.

I need to wrap this thing up. It’s much longer than a blog post should be, but you know me. I get going and I’ve got a little weight on me so the momentum kind of takes over, know what I’m sayin?

I’m going to share what I believe, based on a number of recent visions God has given me, and words He has shared with me. Nope, it’s not a prophecy. It’s simply what I’m seeing and hearing and believing.

{*whisper voice* – I think He’s speaking to many of you as well, giving visions and dreams and words of knowledge about what’s here and what’s coming. Come out, come out, wherever you are. We need your voice.}

I believe there are dark days ahead, particularly for the Church, and even more particularly for the Western Church. I believe there is a storm, a tsunami of persecution coming our way. But I also believe that it will serve a divine purpose. Not punishment, purpose. I believe it will draw us together like nothing else could, causing us to lean on one another and teaching us to stand together as one. It will strip away what needs to be stripped from us, and there is much that needs to be stripped. I believe all of this is because we are loved by our Father, who refuses to let His Church continue to be absorbed by both self and the world.

I also believe that this darkness that is coming will usher in at least two things – repentance and revival. It will turn our gaze back to where it belongs – fixed on Jesus. It will separate the ones who pick up their cross and those who just hang around the cross. It will reveal lukewarm hearts and force them to choose – cold or hot, what’s it gonna be?

Finally, I believe it is time for the Church to shake off her distractions and get on her face before the throne of her King. It is time to repent and to seek His face and His presence and to desire His glory above all else. It is time to cry out for Him to give us undivided hearts and minds and affections that are for Him alone.

I watched a teaching by Cory Russell recently in which he said that it is time for the Church to go into the secret place and CLOSE THE DOOR.

All I can say to that is Amen and Amen. Let’s close the door on every distraction, every hindrance, every bit of worldly noise, and be with our Father. Oh, I pray we will do this. I pray we will hear His voice calling us to return to Him, to return to the one thing, the better thing. I pray we will begin to burn to close the door and just be with Him.

And finally, this: the pattern of scripture is that persecution causes the people of God to multiply, and the gospel goes forth in great measure.

The suffering of Christ produced salvation. The suffering of the Church produces a harvest for the Kingdom.

Selah.

The Weapons of Our Warfare Pt. 3 – The Armor We Live In

In parts 1 & 2 I talked about the enemy’s domain and his activities. Now it’s time to talk about why I did this teaching in the first place. Honestly, I wanted to show that our victory in the battles the enemy engages us in is tied to the depth and intimacy of our relationship with God.

In pretty much any talk about spiritual warfare, there is a particular passage that comes up that most of us can quote, or at least paraphrase.

Ephesians 6:10-18

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”

First, let me say this — there are a plethora of commentaries written about this passage, and I’m not trying to raise my voice louder than theirs. I just want to sit around this small table with you and give my thoughts, and hopefully hear yours. If I get long-winded (and I will), take a break, eat a piece of cheesecake for stamina, and then come back.

Secondly, we cannot detach this portion of scripture from those that come before it. Doing so will make it appear as though Paul had a touch of ADD. The chapter begins with children – obey your parents; then parents – don’t exasperate your children. This is followed by slaves – obey your master, and masters – treat your slaves well. And then Paul says, “Finally…”. So I believe that Ephesians 6:10-18 is less about what we know theologically, and way more about what we do with what we know. In other words, this passage is not about what we know, but how we live. Let’s dig in.

If I had to put a title to what I’ve learned in the past 31 years of following Jesus, that title would be…

No Other

…so I’m going to approach this passage from that perspective.

The very first thing we’re told is to be strong in the power of His might. Other versions say strengthened by the Lord and His vast strength. Your own strength will not be enough. Not by a long shot.

We try to draw strength from so many wells, but there is no other strength that will sustain us through this life, but Jesus. Through dark nights of the soul, or in the valley under the shadow of death. Even just the everyday work of fighting depression, fighting anxiety, fighting fear, fighting pain, fighting to stay above the water. Oh, we can suck it up and hold on and push through, to a point. But, by divine design, our weakness and limitations and our utter lack of strength will eventually become evident, and where we go for strength will determine whether or not we taste victory over what is trying to do us in.

Jesus taught me that there is no other place to find what I need. He’s it. The fellowship with Him that comes from time spent in the secret place has strengthened me for the journey, strengthened me for suffering, for trials, and even for the green pastures and still waters (because sometimes, it takes the strength and power of God to get us to just lie down, be still, and drink deep of Him).

Be strengthened by the Lord…and no other. It is His strength, not our own that is a weapon against the enemy who seeks to wear us down.

truth like a belt…

It’s an interesting word, Truth. Most of us would think it means we are to gird ourselves with the truth of God’s word, but it actually carries a little different meaning, so I do not have the standard take on this word that many have.

The root word it comes from means “loving the truth, speaking the truth, truthful.” See what I mean? Interesting. The actual word truth in this passage means “sincerity of mind and integrity of character, or a mode of life in harmony with divine truth“.

It’s not about being able to quote scripture passages, and it’s a whole lot more than not lying on your tax returns. Girding yourself with the truth means living true. Living without pretense, without shadows, without hypocrisy. It is a life that is in harmony with the Truth, not at odds with Him.

When you are clothed in the belt of truth, try as he may, the enemy will not get you to compromise or to live in a way that creates disharmony with God’s truth. You won’t be caught in a lie, found out, or exposed as pretending to be something you are not, because that is not the life you are living.

No other way of living provides this kind of spiritual defense.

the breastplate of righteousness…

that word righteousness means “integrity, virtue, purity of life, uprightness, correctness in thinking, feeling, and acting“.

The breastplate is “consisting of two parts and protecting the body on both sides from the neck to the middle“.

Isn’t it interesting that the meaning of righteousness as used in this passage includes correctness in thinking, feeling, and acting? And isn’t it also so interesting that these things protect us against the schemes and attacks of the enemy?

Note: In the armor, the breastplate is attached to the belt. So the breastplate of righteousness for the Christian, is attached to the belt of truth. Here’s what I think – if we aren’t living lives of truth, we will not be able to live a life of righteousness.

This can all sound like a “do it yourself” Christianity. Living righteously out of our own strength. Oh, believe me, it is not. We know that our righteousness comes from Christ alone. Our own ability to be right and live right with God is a big fat zero. And the good news is that we receive the righteousness of Christ upon our confession of faith. Boom. Done. We have been made right with God. But…

If the way we live our lives does not reflect the righteousness of Christ that is in us and on us, then we are unprotected from the attacks of the enemy. This is what I’m saying…this armor isn’t about our salvation, it is about how we live it out. Without the lifestyle that reflects what Christ has done, we are deer in an open field against an enemy with a stellar aim.

There is no other righteousness but the righteousness of Christ that can make us right with God. And there is no quicker way to oppression than for a person who has been made right with God by the blood of Christ, to live a life that is not right with God.

feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace...

I’ll be honest, this one has been one of those things that for years I could not figure out, so I just nodded and quoted and more or less went along with everyone else’s explanation. But that thing in me that needs to know God, and know what He’s actually saying to me, wouldn’t let go of this verse. Once I realized that this whole passage is talking about how we live, then I began to dig and this is what I found that satisfies me, at least for now.

“it also has the meaning of firm footing (foundation);… if that is the meaning in [this passage], the Gospel itself is to be the firm footing of the believer, his walk being worthy of it, and therefore a testimony in regard to it.” (Vines Expository Dictionary) From other sources (which I will list at the end), I found snippets of explanation that helped me form a coherent and less abstract view of this verse:

Be ready to quickly and cheerfully go where you are sent, never allowing your feet to move off the firm foundation that is the gospel of Christ. It is a gospel of peace, so walk worthy of that gospel. You have peace with God, so do not live as though you do not. Let your life be a testimony of the good news, where ever your feet take you.

There is no other gospel worthy of the giving of our lives than the gospel of Christ. No other place for our feet to stand, and move upon, than that firm foundation. All other ground is sinking sand. May our lives speak of this gospel day in and day out, as we move upon the earth.

take up the shield of faith

The word faith is our faith in God, authored by Jesus. It is far more than the belief that God exists, it is the trust we have in Him. Satan is not trying to get us to not believe in the existence of God (even demons believes He exists), but what he’s after is our trust in God. That said, this verse is telling us to take up our shield of faith (trust) so that the flaming darts of the enemy will be extinguished. In ancient times, the shield was made of leather, and they would soak it with water before battle because there would be fiery arrows coming at them. That shield is as big as a door, able to protect everything behind it.

Isn’t it interesting that Jesus is called the living water, and the author and perfecter of our faith? So when we raise a faith that has been soaked in Jesus, there is no flaming arrow that will not be extinguished!

No other faith, no other trust that we put into a person or a thing, will protect us against what the enemy is firing at us. It is only our faith (trust) in God that will fully shield us, and extinguish satan’s fiery weapons.

Take the helmet of salvation…

The helmet is “the protection of soul which consists in (the hope of) salvation”. (Blue Letter Bible Lexicon).

Our soul is our mind, our will, and our emotions. It is to our soul that the enemy will attempt to bring despair, discouragement, hopelessness, fear (of death), and get us to live our lives in response to those emotions and thoughts. The hope (assurance) of salvation, that future life that awaits us with God, is a guard for our soul. But here’s the catch…that hope of salvation has to trump our desire, or hope, for a good, pleasant, comfortable, unbothered life on this earth. When our hope of salvation is simply a “given” that we don’t think much about as the years go on, then our hopes for a “better” life here will uncover our mind to all sorts of thoughts, emotions, and eventually belief systems that can cripple our soul.

No other hope can protect our soul except the hope of our salvation. We have been promised life with God for all eternity, but we were never promised a life on this earth without trouble, sorrow, trials, or pain. This is life in a fallen world. But we have been given a hope to see us through it all with a depth of joy and peace that cannot be touched.

{“Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”} (Psalm 51:12)

the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Here is what we know for sure — Satan is a liar, and God’s Word is true. There is no other way to tear down a lie than with truth. I will preach this until I die – get yourself into the Word of God and keep yourself there. There is no substitute. The best sermon is not a sword. That podcast you listen to is not a sword. Your daily devotional is not a sword. All of those things are good, and they serve to help us grow, but if you try to bring one against the enemy, you’ve brought a butter knife to a sword fight.

It doesn’t matter that you don’t like to read. It doesn’t matter if you find it boring or hard to understand. The fact remains that it is the only sword you have, so by golly you should learn to weild it well. Otherwise, you are susceptible to any and every lie that the liar wants to whisper to you.

There is no other sword. But no other sword is needed. Pick it up. Learn to use it. Start coming against the lies that you’ve been believing.

Prayer is a weapon we will discuss next time, so I won’t go into it here.

I know this was long and if you hung in there with me, you should get the last piece of cheesecake. And, thank you!

But I can’t end it without going back to my first point. The whole reason I began looking at teaching about spiritual warfare in the first place, was to show that it is directly tied to the depth and intimacy of our relationship with Jesus.

Looking back over every weapon, over the life lived in the armor of God, it comes out of time spent with Him. It comes from that place of seeking His face, seeking His ways, and desiring to know Him more. The hours that become days that become years spent in the secret place, in His word, in recurring surrender and repentance and worship, is what fits us for the armor.

After 31 years, the most humbling realization I’ve had is that I have not yet arrived. Like all of us, I have good days and bad days. Victory and defeat. Falling down and getting back up. Learning and forgetting and relearning it all. And yet, His goodness and His faithful love have followed me all of these days and years, and I am forever grateful.

Sources: Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance; Vines Expository Dictionary; + various NT commentaries.

The Weapons of Warfare – Pt. 2 – The Enemy’s Activity

In my last post I talked about the enemy’s domain. This time, we’re going to look at a short list of what he does in that domain. Again, I’m simply going to lay out scriptures, giving a few thoughts along the way, but my hope is that you will read the scriptures and ask God for His thoughts.

1 Chronicles 21:1 – “And Satan stood up against Israel, and provoked David to number Israel.”

This was a census of David’s military. The thinking at this time was that a man could only count what belonged to him. But Israel belonged to God, so this census was very foolish, and God brought punishment for it to David. The enemy was coming against all of Israel, by inciting their leader to sin. So, bear with me for a moment, as I follow this trail.

How do you come against a nation? You go after it’s leader.

How do you come against a church? You go after the leadership.

How do you come against a family? You go after the parents. Why do we think the divorce rate is so high?

Anyone else see a pattern? Anyone else see a reason to pray for anyone in your life who is in a leadership position?

Zechariah 3:1 – “Then he showed me the high priest Joshua standing before the angel of the Lord, with Satan standing at his right side to resist him.”

Part of the meaning of the word resist, is to “accuse”. It also means to oppose, to be an adversary. Bottom line for me? My enemy never takes a day off. He is my adversary at all times, opposing me, accusing me, resisting me. Let me ask you a question:

Have you ever come into church on a Sunday morning and as you try to enter into worship, you begin to think about everything you did wrong that week? Has a sense of shame accompanied you into church? Or, are you suddenly reminded of the last fight you had with your spouse (maybe that morning!), and you can’t get it out of your head? That is your adversary at work. Accusing. Opposing. Resisting.

Or how about when you determine to spend time in prayer. Ever find your thoughts wandering into territories that are absolutely not conducive to fervent, effectual prayer? Your adversary is at work.

Matthew 13:19:  “When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the path.

Mark 1:13 – “He was in the wilderness forty days, being tempted by Satan.”

Acts 5:3:  “But Peter said, “Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back for yourself part of the proceeds of the land?”

What do you think he actually used to fill their hearts? Perhaps it was fear of having nothing for themselves. Or maybe it was the need to control, to ensure they would have enough provision. Maybe it was just outright greed. We don’t know, but experience tells us that when our hearts begin to fill up with thoughts of “what about me?”, sin is not far from us.

2 Corinthians 2:11 – “so that we may not be taken advantage of by Satan. For we are not ignorant of his schemes.”

Oh, but I think many times we are very ignorant of his schemes. Did you even know that he schemes against you? Looks for ways and opportunities to hinder you, make you stumble, make you doubt, make you stop. It reminds me of fur trappers. They don’t just stand around with their fingers crossed, hoping a rabbit hops by. They set snares in areas where they know rabbits would be found. They scheme up ways to make their traps more efficient and more effective.

Our adversary is not passive, but I’m afraid that all too often, we are.

2 Corinthians 4:4 – “In their case, the god of this age has blinded the minds of the unbelievers to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.”

2 Corinthians 11:14 – “And no wonder! For Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.”

1 Thessalonians 2:18 – “So we wanted to come to you—even I, Paul, time and again—but Satan hindered us.”

1 Peter 5:8 – ““Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

Revelation 12:9 – “So the great dragon was thrown out—the ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the one who deceives the whole world.”

Ok, let’s summarize.

Our enemy…

Provokes us · Accuses us · Tempts us · Can fill our hearts to sin · Blinds the minds of unbelievers · Snatches seed that is sown · Hinders us · Schemes against us · Disguises himself · Deceives the whole world

Again, this is just a sampling. We know that practically, his activities play out in many different ways and take many different shapes in our lives, in our homes, our churches, our communities, and in the world.

But we can take heart!

In the next post we will begin to talk about the weapons of our warfare. All that we have been given to walk in victory, take back ground, advance the Kingdom of God. Watch for it!

Covid, Revival, and the gaze of the church

It was Wednesday morning, August 19th, and I woke up with a headache and feeling like I had a chest cold. By the next day, it felt like full-on flu, but unlike any flu I had ever had. On Friday I got tested and on Sunday that test came back positive for Covid-19.

The next week was the sickest I’ve ever been. It was the flu on steroids. My joints felt like they were full of broken glass. I had horrible night sweats, a constant headache, a cough that would not quit, and less than zero energy. I couldn’t even think straight. I had more than one serious thought that I might die from this virus.

On day 10 the turn around came. Not a huge turn, more like a slight curve, but enough to give me hope. My joints stopped aching so bad, and I was able to come out of my room for a bit and walk through the house. One walk-through and then I had to go back to bed, but it was something. With each passing day it has gotten better, and today, my only symptoms are some shortness of breath, extreme fatigue, and a narly brain fog that sometimes makes it hard to focus, hard to communicate well, and hard to remember things. The cough is rare, if ever, now. No body pain. Some occasional congestion. I’ve read that it could be months yet before I feel back to normal. That’s ok. I honestly feel lucky to have survived it at all. I am very fortunate to have a husband who took such good care of me, even though he too tested positive. His symptoms lasted a day and then were gone and he was back to normal, except for the fatigue.

I also have a lifegroup of women who cared for us both for the first two weeks, by dropping off a meal every day. I usually find it very difficult to accept help like that, but there were days that I don’t think we would have eaten if not for that meal. I could barely stand up for more than a couple of minutes, and both of us were too fatigued to move much at all at times. I am so grateful for a community of women who jumped in to do what they could, dropping off food at our doorstep every day. Oh, another symptom that is still with me – I cannot taste or smell things. Actually, the taste seems to be improving. If something is tart, tangy, or salty, I can taste that. Otherwise, I’m just eating because I need to eat. I also struggle with bouts of nausea and stomach pain. This thing is a circus full of fun.

But, I had (have) a lot of people praying for me, including my family, and I believe with all my heart that those prayers moved heaven on my behalf. So thankful.

Ok, that’s my Covid ordeal. I survived and I am recovering. But lemme tell you the good stuff.

Before day 10, I couldn’t do much more than mutter “Jesus, help me” numerous times a day. But once symptoms began to subside, the tide turned. Covid often made it hard for me to sleep at night, so I began having lots of late-night worship sessions. Those sessions turned into prayer times, as I climbed back up on the wall to take my post as an intercessor, albeit a weakened, sometimes nauseous one. And then, my appetite returned with a ferocity I hadn’t seen in a while. Not an appetite for food, but for the Word of God, as I began a renewed search for the heart of my Father. I found my gaze had turned from being consumed with Covid, off of what’s been happening in the political arena and in the streets of our nation, and back to Jesus.

All of this had actually begun before Covid threw me against the rocks. Now, it’s rising up like flames that just hit the kitchen curtains. Spreading, growing. Because God used Covid to fan into life an ember that had only begun to burn. While my body was surviving, my soul began to thrive and that means God had His way and the enemy did not. Any way you turn it, it’s good.

I did not start the flame. I did not will myself to want more of Jesus or to seek more of His heart or to re-engage in intercession. It was not by my own strength or persistence that I came out of the worst part of Covid with a revival going on in my soul.

God is on the move.

And oh my gosh haven’t we all just been waiting for it? As chaos increases and lawlessness is more brazen than ever. As the deception grows thick and rage is running the streets, we’ve waited for God to pull back the curtain and reveal the truth and put everything right. But what if we’ve been looking in the wrong place for the move of God? What if He wants to do it in us, instead of out there? Perhaps the shaking starts with us, those who are called holy and righteous and belonging to Him. What if we’re the ones with the curtain and the need for truth in our innermost parts?

What if Jesus is turning the gaze of the Church away from what’s happening in the darkness and fixing it on Him who dwells in unapproachable light?

There is not one thing going on in the world right now that is outside of the sovereignty of God. Not one thing is thwarting His plans or altering His purposes in the earth. He is who He says He is. He will do what He said He will do. He has built His Church on the truth of the Gospel, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it. Nothing is hidden from His sight. He will neither slumber nor sleep. He is making ready His Bride, to present her to His Father.

Turning her gaze back to Him. Making a way in her wilderness and streams in her desert. Allowing the sifting and praying for her, that her faith will not fail. Calling her to return to her first Love, to choose the better thing, to love Him with all her heart, soul, mind and strength.

We look away from the natural realm and we fasten our gaze onto Jesus who birthed faith within us and who leads us forward into faith’s perfection. His example is this: Because his heart was focused on the joy of knowing that you would be his, he endured the agony of the cross and conquered its humiliation, and now sits exalted at the right hand of the throne of God!

Hebrews 12:2 – The Passion Translation
What is God doing in you right now, in the middle of what you’re going through?
How is He attempting to turn your gaze to Him?

the lie behind ‘you are enough’

I’ve written about this topic before, more than once. Just stating upfront that I am aware that this is not the first time I’ve brought it up in our conversations. I didn’t forget and you can stop trying to spell d-e-m-e-n-t-i-a in your head. I don’t have it. But I do have a passion for this particular subject and as long as it is poisoning the Church, I’ll keep talking about it.

For most of my life I believed I was not enough. And by most of my life I mean since I was a little girl lost in a family of dysfunction, feeling invisible and voiceless. Not enough to stop the chaos around me. I grew up and left that home, but ‘not enough’ left with me and it about did me in.

The fear/belief/suspicion that we are not enough is a weapon the enemy is using against the Church quite effectively. It breeds comparison in us. It brings depression and anxiety, striving, and self-hatred. But it is not being used in the way most of us would think.

It is truth he is using, not a lie.

I have yet to find one thing in the Word of God that tells me that I am enough. Instead, He paints picture after picture of just the opposite.

We’ll start with the loaves and the fish. The little boy with a small lunch, among 5,000 hungry people, offered what he had. It was clearly not enough.

The poor widow who put her two very small copper coins in the offering plate. Not enough to help anyone, but it was all she had.

The crippled man at the pool of Bethesda. He didn’t have enough strength to get himself into the pool and get his healing.

The disciples with not enough faith in the storm.

The countless times that the Israelites did not have enough of anything to win their battles.

And the most glaring not enough of them all – our severe lack of enough righteousness to save ourselves.

There’s more, but I think you get my point. We are not enough. It’s the truth, but it’s the lie the enemy puts behind it that makes it a weapon against us.

We should be enough.

Just a little twist of the truth and you have a sharp weapon to use against the psyche of God’s people. Something that will keep them focused on themselves for generations. A should that keeps them chasing what they will never catch.

Can we begin to see it from a different perspective, and turn that weapon around?

What if my enough would keep someone from seeing their need for Jesus? If I’m enough for my husband, why will he go to God to be filled? If I’m enough for my children, why would they learn to depend on God? What if I let go of the need to be enough, because I know the truth?

Has it occurred to us that the enemy’s scheme is to make everything about us? To keep us focused on our smallness, our failures, our weaknesses (or, our strengths, our victories and successes). Either way, it turns us inward. Really, that’s what this “not enough” thing is about, don’t you think? Us. But if we would pick up the Word of God and read it, we would find the truth and the truth would set us free.

We are not enough. God is. That’s the whole point. God is our deliverer, our healer, our all the things that we are not. That’s why we must set our eyes on Him. Set our hearts on Him. Set our faith on Him. And stop trying to be enough so that we are justified in setting all of that on ourselves.

Let’s spare ourselves the self-help books and the memes that show us whispering to ourselves “you are enough”. Let’s refuse to listen to those who, with the best of intentions, keep trying to convince us that we are enough.

Instead, let’s repent. Turn around. Go the other way. The way that glorifies God for being more than enough, for having strength that is perfected in our weaknesses, for being not just everything we need, but everything those around us need.

Let’s repent of giving God glory and then beating ourselves up. Of singing His praises and then silently screaming our self-loathing at ourselves. It’s a grievous thing we are doing when we say He is our all in all, but walk around feeling shame that we can’t be the all in all for others. It is making us sick – physically, emotionally and spiritually sick.

After many years in the Word of God, walking with Him, learning Him, I no longer feel the need to be enough. My God is enough and this is about Him. My family needs Him, not me, to be enough. My friends, my community, the lost around me – they all need Him to be enough.

Christianity is about Christ. We will not be healed until we stop making it about us.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Colossians 3:1-4

John 6; Mark 12; John 5; Mark 4;

this pandemic: finding what is true

Pandemic. Something (a disease) that is prevalent over a whole country, or the whole earth.

Maybe you’re thinking the title to this post says that I don’t believe there is a real pandemic going on. That would be untrue. I 100% believe that Covid-19 is real, it is deadly, and it is a threat to all of us. That part is very clear to me. After that, it gets a little murky.

I recently posted a video on my Facebook page called Plandemic, the interview of Dr. Judy Mikovits, a scientist. In the interview she basically asserts that corruption in high places muzzles the research of scientists who’s discoveries threaten agendas. She also dances around the assertion that Covid-19 was manufactured and released on purpose.

I received a lot of feedback from posting that video. I discovered that a LOT of people are thinking what I’m thinking and that is that something is afoot. Something doesn’t smell right to us, not just about this pandemic, but about the response to it. I also got other feedback using words like propaganda, and conspiracy theories. I received articles from a number of people that refute Dr. Mikovits, and I read them all. Somewhere in all of it, there is truth and I think only God knows what that truth is for sure. Maybe Dr. Mikovits’ story was missing some facts. That doesn’t mean that researchers are not being muzzled by corrupt people in high places. It also doesn’t mean that Covid-19 was intentionally released upon the world.

Maybe I’m just part of a generation that is naturally suspicious of big government, big medicine, big things that lean toward serving their bottom dollar or need for power more than they lean toward our best interests. Or, maybe I’m part of a generation that has seen its fill of corruption and greed and lies coming from people in positions of power, so we don’t fall for every sincere statement they make and when something stinks, we know something is rotten.

Somewhere in the middle of the ones who believe that things are what they appear and that fear is the appropriate response, and the ones who are refusing to be herded off the cliff they think is just up ahead, is the truth. But after having a few days to ponder all of this, I’ve decided it’s not that particular truth that I want.

The truths of man won’t bring peace to my soul. Only God’s truth will do that. So here is what I know:

“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.” {2 Timothy 3:1-5}

This world is not going to become a better place. The darkness will grow darker – that is an absolute truth and I will not be moved to believe otherwise.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” {Ephesians 5:15-16}

I have come to the conclusion that the best use of my time is not trying to convince people that the world is evil, but rather in reminding people that God is good. No matter how much power men wield on this earth, it cannot compare to the power of God, and it is God’s power that gives me comfort and strength.

I do believe we are called to expose the deeds of darkness, but not necessarily by posting a video that I cannot know with absolute certainty is completely true. It was my natural suspicions being confirmed that prompted me to “expose” the darkness by way of posting that video. But my suspicions, even the valid ones, are not what God has told me to put on a lampstand. The mistrust so prevalent in my generation, even when valid, is not what God has given me for making sound judgments.

It is the Holy Spirit within me and the Word of God that will enable me to speak truth amidst the swirling myths, half-truths, uncertainties and suspicions that are thick in the air around us right now.

God is good and He is in control and He will use everything for His glory. I have nothing to fear and He will lead me and guide me through this or around it, whichever He chooses. He will be who He has always been, regardless of who men have become. If I have come to a place of trusting no man, I know I can trust my God. He does not lie, He does not deceive. I never have to wonder about His intentions or His motives. He remains faithful, merciful, and full of compassion. He is light and in Him there is no darkness.

The Word of God tells me that I live in a fallen world that will progressively become darker, but even so, I have a great hope in heaven, and a great purpose in this world. I need not try to make sense of what is going on in the dark, but I do need to be alert, fully awake, and praying.

It is not the schemes of men that God has admonished me to recognize.

“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” {Ephesians 6:11}

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” {1Peter 5:8}

So for all of those who raised fists in the air in agreement with my suspicions, thank you for your solidarity. And for those who pushed back, thank you for your willingness to do so. It is because of this push and pull that I sat down with God to seek what is true and received His staff and His rod repositioning my heart back where it belongs. In His word, in His truth. Fighting the right battle, and the right enemy.

Because we are growing ever nearer to the end. Will it be in my lifetime? Maybe, maybe not. The time is not for me to know. But I can know the signs. I can know that wading into the muck and mire of what is happening in the physical realm, will not equip me for what is needed in the spiritual realm.

Keep praying, always. Stay alert, keep watching, don’t get distracted. Stay thankful.