Tag Archives: Faith

Marriage Matters—Choose Your Battles

Very few battles are worth fighting or even winning. Stop and think about the last real argument you had with your spouse. I mean the argument that caused one of you to get hurt or brought a cold silence that lasted for at least a day. Do you even remember what it was about? Was it worth it?

After almost 40 years, many of which were lived at war with my husband, I have learned a few hard lessons:

♥ Very few arguments are worth the price of peace that is paid to win them.

♥ Being right is a small consolation when it damages my friendship with my spouse.

♥ Winning an argument is a much smaller victory than the victory of giving up my need to win it.

♥ Not every battlefield needs to have my flag on it.

♥ It’s harder to stop a battle in motion than it is to walk away before it begins.

♥ Marriage battles are generally fought with words, and our tongues are hard to control once they are loaded for battle. Our words used to win an argument often lead us to long-term regret and not much else.

So what are the battles worth fighting? First, I think that question needs to be posed to God. He alone knows. The best I can do is give you my opinion on two good questions to ask yourself and the Holy Spirit.

? Will someone else be harmed if I don’t fight this particular battle, especially someone in my family?

? Will not engaging in this conflict result in my disobedience to God’s word, or compromise my walk with Christ in any way?

Hopefully, your answers to those questions will serve as guardrails in your decisions in conflict. I absolutely believe there are times when we should dig in our heels, but when we do, we should be quite certain that God is dug in with us. But most of the time, we should back down. If my husband is asking me to rob a bank with him, that will be a hard no from me, and I will not be moved from that position. But if I think we need to have a go ’round because he won’t do his fair share around the house, even after numerous “discussions”, then I’m gonna have to count the actual cost of going to battle over it rather than just letting it go.

Those are simple and easy scenarios, and not based on real events, but our lives are much more complicated than that, I know. So please allow me to submit this for your consideration:

Most of our battles are fought to the death because we are prideful, not because we are right.

Choose your battles well, my friend, and remember that more often than not, no battle at all is the best choice.

Follow Jesus: See & Tell

The Gospel of John.

John the Baptist: I have seen and testified that this is the Son of God. (1:34)

Andrew: The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, “We have found the Messiah” (that is, the Christ). And he brought him to Jesus. (1:41)

Philip: Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph. (1:45)

Samaritan woman: “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” (4:29)

Man at the Pool: The man went away and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who had made him well. (5:15)

Those living in darkness were seeing a great light, and their response was to tell others, and bring others to that light.

Sometimes we complicate things, you know? We make Christianity about us and ours. Our church. Our doctrine. Our style of music. Our programs. Our ministry. Our ideas and preferences and need to do things our way.

I think some of us just need to tell someone about Jesus.

Do we still believe that there is power in the gospel? That the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God? (1 Corinthians 1:18) 

Do I believe it? Do I believe that the gospel that comes forth as I share my testimony has the power of God on it? Or have I, we, become far more comfortable inviting people to church, or to an outreach event, than we are inviting them to know Jesus through our own story?

Bringing someone to church isn’t bringing them to Jesus. I will stand by that statement, as offensive as it may sound. Inviting people to come to church isn’t wrong, or a bad thing. But it isn’t the model we have been given in the scriptures. The picture we have is that people encountered the Messiah, and then went to tell someone what they had seen, often bringing them back to Jesus. And when Jesus left the earth, we see the disciples going out and doing the “greater things than these” that Jesus spoke of in John 14:12-14. And all those people who believed in the Jesus they were being told about, became the Church. Today, those who believe in the Jesus we’ve seen and tell them about, become the Church.

People were seeing and telling long before Jesus told them to go make disciples of all nations. But we’ve made that great commission our flagship scripture for so long that “missions” is now where people are told about Jesus. Why tell my neighbor about the life changing encounter I had with Jesus, when I can invite them to an outreach event at church instead. Something safe. Unintrusive. Non-threatening. I wonder. If we truly believed our theology of heaven and hell, would we care about being unintrusive? I wonder if it’s time for the Church to get intrusive. Become threatening to the schemes of the devil. Walk in the power of the Holy Spirit to be His witness as we go, everywhere we go.

We have seen. We have seen Him in our lives. So let’s be followers of Jesus and tell someone. Let’s invite them to Jesus before we invite them to church.

Genesis 45—Seeing God Through the Pain

This chapter. Man, it just undoes me. Talk about restoration. Talk about forgiveness, maturity, reconcilliation, grace. God breathed heavy in this chapter.

Joseph could no longer keep his composure in front of all his attendants, so he called out, “Send everyone away from me!” No one was with him when he revealed his identity to his brothers. But he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it, and also Pharaoh’s household heard it.  Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still living?” But they could not answer him because they were terrified in his presence. Genesis 45:1-3

Some contradicting emotions in the room! In this corner, we have Joseph and his very loud weeping. And in the other corner, Joseph’s brothers staring in terrified silence. Both parties were looking at the same situation and having polar opposite reactions to it.

Joseph wept because he knew what God had done. The brothers were terrified because they knew what they had done.

I’ll just let that sit right there.

The view from Joseph’s perspective is nothing short of stunning. Seeing God through all of the pain he experienced. Oh if that could be said of us! That as we survey the pain of rejection, betrayal, and false accusations that we have endured, we would see God bringing diamonds out of the coal. Bringing life from what felt like our death.

When the news reached Pharaoh’s palace, “Joseph’s brothers have come,” Pharaoh and his servants were pleased. Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Tell your brothers, ‘Do this: Load your animals and go on back to the land of Canaan. Get your father and your families, and come back to me. I will give you the best of the land of Egypt, and you can eat from the richness of the land.’ You are also commanded to tell them, ‘Do this: Take wagons from the land of Egypt for your dependents and your wives and bring your father here. Do not be concerned about your belongings, for the best of all the land of Egypt is yours.’ Genesis 45:17-20

For two decades Jacob lived with the loss of his favorite son, whom he believed to be dead. But now, in the middle of a famine, he’s about to experience the return of what he never thought he’d have again. But he won’t just receive Joseph back. He will get all that God had been doing with Joseph over twenty years. The favor, the provision, the best of all the land of Egypt. Jacob will now reap the fruit of God’s work in his son’s life.

And isn’t that just like God, to give back more than we’ve lost? Yes, it is just like Him.

And the Lord restored Job’s losses when he prayed for his friends. Indeed the Lord gave job twice as much as he had before. (Job 42:10)

Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope; today I declare that I will restore to you double. (Zechariah 9:12)

Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy. (Isaiah 61:7)

At the end of this chapter, what is it that I come away wanting? Glad you asked and I’d love to tell you.

I want to weep because I see what God has done, instead of over what I have done.

I want to know, believe, trust in, walk with, and lean on the God who gives me more than I could possibly lose.

And I want God to be in view no matter where I am or what it looks like there.

Truth: Day 22—My Trials Will Be Good for Me

“ Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” 

James 1:2-4

I Will Have Trials. They Will Be Good for Me.

Sometimes the truth is hard to hear and what I need to hear the most.

Because like a child who only wants sweets for dinner, I want a life free from pain, free from discomfort, free from hard.

But sugar and a soft life do nothing to make me strong.

They will weaken me. Give me no stamina. Make me unable to stand. To fight. To stay the course.

Hard has come to my life, and will come again. My faith has been put through fire, and it will be again. But He never kept this from me, like a secret, a hidden thing meant to take me by surprise.

He is not out to catch me off guard. No tricks up His holy sleeve.

He has given me truth so that I can walk in truth.

I will have trials. I will not go through them alone. They will be be good for me.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”

Isaiah 43:2

Finish Better – Lessons from Solomon

Solomon became king, most likely as a teenager, after his father, King David died. He was known primarily for his great wealth, and his wisdom. Oh, and his many wives. The same wives who would be his downfall.

“When Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart away to follow other gods. He was not wholeheartedly devoted to the Lord his God, as his father David had been.”

1 Kings 11:4

This one verse holds two accusations against Solomon. First, he allowed his many wives to turn his heart away from following God alone and toward the worship of false gods. I’ve said it before and I’ll continue to say it – women have enormous power of influence. With it, we can either influence our husbands, or our leaders, toward God or away from Him. Both men and women need to be aware of how they are influencing or being influenced. Solomon, in all of his wisdom, could not see the danger his wives were presenting to him.

Second, while perhaps, and I’m just guessing here, Solomon thought that he could follow the gods of his wives and still be fully devoted to the one true God, he could not. None of us could. The question is, how many of us are trying to do the very same thing? Believing we are fully His, while giving ourselves to the pursuit of other things. Chasing our own hopes and dreams and far lesser loves. That kind of thing  doesn’t stoke the fire in our heart for God, it makes our heart, and our faith, lukewarm.

“The Lord was angry with Solomon, because his heart had turned away from the Lord, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. He had commanded him about this, so that he would not follow other gods, but Solomon did not do what the Lord had commanded.”

1 Kings 11:9-10

God did not overlook Solomon’s transgressions. In fact, I don’t believe there is a time recorded where God ever overlooked unbelief and/or idolatry in His people. One could argue that the two go hand-in-hand or at least, one begets the other. When we fail to believe (trust in) God, our nature will turn us to something else to trust in, and idolatry is born.

Our trust in something or someone besides God is no light matter. It would do us well to take stock. Are we trying to trust God and our bank account? God and our government? God and our retirement plan? God and …? What are the idols we don’t think we have? Because the greatest thing that brought
about the anger and discipline of God against His people was their unbelief and idolatry.

We stand in grace, you and I. But God does not change. Which brings me to the final point of all of this.

“So the Lord raised up Hadad the Edomite as an enemy against Solomon.”

1 Kings 11:14

“God raised up Rezon son of Eliada as an enemy against Solomon.”

1 Kings 11:23

It doesn’t say that God Himself became Solomon’s enemy, but that He raised up certain men for it. Solomon would pay the price for his idolatry, but it wouldn’t come from a lightning bolt from heaven, but from men. All of that birthed this thought for me:

How many times has God used other people to straighten my crooked ways? How many of the people who have been the hardest for me to bear, were raised up by God to correct me or bring discipline to me?

As His child, I know that God will not reject me, remove His love from me, or walk away from His covenant with me. But His Word is clear that He disciplines those He loves.

So now I must look back at those times when I believed I was treated wrongly or harshly, or had people who were just a general nuisance and thorn in my side, and see if perhaps God had raised someone up to be the instrument of change for me.

The Nutshell Version:

  • Be careful of what or who is influencing you. And be just as careful how you influence others.
  • Are you wholeheartedly devoted to God? I know it may feel like you are, but does your life demonstrate that your feeling is true?
  • Is it possible that God has raised up others in your life as a correction, or discipline, of your ways? 

Solomon started well, but he did not finish well. May you and I take notice, and determine that we will finish not only well, but better than we started.

I for one want to be more on fire, longing for Him more than the deer pants for water, seeking Him with all of my heart, and have eyes that are fixed only on Him for the rest of my days. Don’t you?

Truth: Day 21—The Blessing is Worth It

“ Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” 

Matthew 5:11-12

The Blessing Is Worth It

Just today, it hit me. I am in little danger of the blessing this passage promises.

I’m pretty non-confrontational. Quiet about my strongly held convictions, in certain circles. The circles that could make me unwelcome. Insult me. Speak ill of me.

But lately I’ve taken notice of the glaring avoidance in my life.

I avoid uncomfortable, for me or anyone else.

I avoid taking the unpopular stance, unless I’m around other people who are also taking the same stance, so that we’re all standing in our little stance circle, nodding at one another as though we are setting the world on fire right where we stand.

I don’t believe Jesus was recommending that we go out of our way to pick a fight. If we are following Him close enough, the fight will pick us. The choice we have is to avoid the fight, or to wade in with our shield of faith raised and our sword at the ready, knowing it will likely cost us.

John the Baptist is a good example. He spoke his message of repentance without apology. Said harsh truth to the religious leaders. Called out a king’s sin.

For that, he lost his life. But John inherited the blessing of “great is your reward in heaven” and I’m willing to bet he wouldn’t trade it for all the comfortable places on the planet.

I want to speak truth so that I will live truth.

There is a blessing for those willing to live a life of faith that draws insults and persecution.

It is worth every risk.

Truth: Day 20—I Am Called To God

 “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Matthew 28:18-20

Honestly? I’m not a “go” kind of person. I’m a stayer. I like the familiar, the comfortable. I like not risking humiliation. Weird, I know.

I like to believe that others are going, so my going isn’t all that necessary.

I would prefer that God would send people to me. People who are ready, who don’t need to be convinced of anything. Hungry people with soft hearts.

I don’t want hard ground, hard hearts, or a hard time. And please, no hard questions.

I just want it to be easy, and if it can’t be easy then I want to convince myself that evangelism isn’t my gifting, or my calling, and that there are plenty of people going, and I can “go” by praying for them, or giving them money.

But I am prone to entertaining lies, so I have to speak truth so that I will walk in truth.

I am called to go. To make disciples. To tell the story of God in my life. To tell His good news. To trust the Holy Spirit to do the saving. To desire that none should perish, just like my Father. To take what He has entrusted me with, and give it away. At work. In my neighborhood. At the park. In the grocery store. In line at the DMV. In my city. Wherever I am.

I am called to go.

The only valid question surrounding that command is, will I obey?