remembering africa – sudan – taking back the land

I am prone to forgetting so I want to memorialize my very first mission trip. I want to put my memories in writing for my grandchildren and their children, but also for me. Because remembering is sweet.

(Ignore the dates on the photos. They were all taken in March, 2007.)

Sudan – Part 3

The final days of my trip to Sudan were spent in Bor, the birthplace of the second Sudanese civil war. We were there to host a retreat for church leaders and the local church. We stayed at the church “compound”, made up of numerous huts.

My first sights of the compound can really only be described through the pictures.

A child at play
A child at play
She captured me, but I could never get her to not be afraid of me
She captured me, but I could never get her to not be afraid of me
A tired mom and her kids
A tired mom and her kids

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The women looked so tired, and they were very shy. But they served us so graciously, and when we were leaving, they seemed genuinely sad to see us go, and kept thanking us for coming.

We were there for two days. The first day started with everyone gathering in the church for worship, and then the teaching we had prepared to encourage them.

The church at Bor
The church at Bor
Inside the church, gathering for the retreat
Inside the church, gathering for the retreat

Yes, it was hot inside the church, but not as bad as you would think.

The look on this woman’s face says so much to me. Life is hard for her, and she has endured much. It is etched into her. One of the most difficult things for me to realize was that, though they are part of the Body of Christ, they rarely received encouragement from the rest of the Body.

And I thought of how accessible it is to me. How much I take for granted the fact that at any given time I can go to my computer and have dozens of people praying for me if need be. How much encouragement I receive just from the Christians in social media. I thought of how I never feel alone, or forgotten by the rest of the Body of Christ. But they do. They told us more than once that it meant so much to them to have us come because it let them know someone else cared about them, that they had not been completely forgotten. 

The worship band and his drum
The worship band and his drum

The worship has to be one of my favorite parts of the trip. I did not understand their songs, but I knew Who they were singing about, Who they were worshiping.

worship2

It was beautiful to watch, beautiful to be a part of these brothers and sisters as they bowed before God.

On the second day, after the teachings, we all went outside. The temperature that day was 103 degrees (F). For three hours we all stood outside, taking communion together and praying. What were we praying? That God would forgive the bloodshed of war, and heal their nation. They felt it was time to take back the land for the purposes of God. The civil war that began right there in Bor, lasted 22 years and cost the lives of millions of people, and displaced millions more.

But they loved their country, just like I love mine. And this confronts my pride head on. Because I, like the majority of Americans, have believed my country to be the greatest on earth. In my own arrogant patriotism, I believed that, if given the chance, anyone would want to live here. But on that day, I witnessed a people who didn’t want to live somewhere else. They loved their country, and they wanted to see it healed. I saw men and women spend three hours in prayer, intense prayer, in intense heat, because they believed God could redeem their nation. I saw them weep in the dirt over the sins of war and the lives that had been lost. I saw them do the only thing they knew to do for a nation that had been ravaged, both physically and spiritually. They fervently prayed. I want to be like them when I grow up.

To start us off, Pastor Dave read from the scriptures
Pastor Dave led us off
The sound of her weeping and praying filled the air
The sound of her weeping and praying filled the air
Taking back the land
Taking back the land
What a privilege for me
What a privilege for me
And in the end, God is worshipped
And in the end, God is worshiped

That night, we all sat around a fire. Well, our team sat around a fire with the men of the church. The women stayed with the children. At some point, I saw them preparing mats outside, and then they, the women and children, all laid down to go to sleep.

But before that, we had an impromptu worship service, as all of a sudden one of the men began clapping and singing, and soon others had joined in. It was a joyous sound and soon they were dancing and laughing and singing praises. I remember sitting there watching and listening and thanking God for this gift. It was beautiful.

The next day, we began the long journey home. Back to Uganda, then to England, and finally landing in Chicago. The very next day I was driving to Kansas to my mother’s funeral.

Putting this trip into words and photos has been good, as I let God speak what He wanted to speak to me through my memories. It has also been sad, as I look at some of the faces and remember their painful stories. But mostly, it has reminded me that God’s world is big and I am small and He is the same on one side of the earth as He is on the other. His Spirit is at work in His people, and in the nations and right here in me. 

One last look…

We had brought bottles of bubbles with us for the children, much to their delight
We had brought bottles of bubbles with us for the children, much to their delight
Some of the beauty of Africa
Some of the beauty of Africa
Coffee break time
Coffee break time
The church ladies
The church ladies
The African sky.
The African sky

arrows

arrowsRevelation from the Word of God is truly a wonderful thing. But when it comes to you flying in on the arrow of conviction, it’s a different kind of wonderful. Today, my heart was flooded with just such wonderfulness.

“He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?'” (Acts 9:4)

I cocked my head and thought, “actually, Saul was persecuting the Church”.

And then I heard the faint sound of an arrow somewhere off in the distance, as my mind began to fill with  other words spoken by Jesus.

““The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.’” (Matthew 25:40)

“He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me.’” (Matthew 25:45)

Flying arrows can actually get quite loud. I did not know that before today. And then it hit my heart, and all grew quiet as the beautiful, painful mixture of revelation and conviction began to seep into deep places. Then came a whisper…e Church is the Body of Christ, and He is the head. They cannot be separated.

“He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.  And He is the head of the body, the church…”Colossians 1:17

Flashes of scriptures flood my mind. Many more than I will put into this post.

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10

“…serve one another in love.” Galatians 5:13

“Be kind and compassionate to one another”  Ephesians 4:32

“Brothers, do not slander one another…”  James 4:11

What is being done to His Church, whether from within or from without, is being done to Him.  That is an inescapable fact. 

Once again I am reminded that, as always, in all things…it is about Jesus. Every word we have been given, every instruction, every command to love and forgive…it is all about the One we follow.

Lord, what have we been doing to You? 

And He responded… “Revelation comes with conviction, not condemnation. The question is ‘what will you do now?'”

the overflow

Just yesterday I had a thought and decided I probably should not give it a voice. But then today I did my reading in Matthew and realized I needed to talk. I’ll talk to myself. You can listen if you’d like.

After reading a few things on the internet yesterday, here is the thought that popped into my head:  “Most of the christian bashing I hear and read, is done by other christians.” Being a christian myself, you can see why I thought it best to keep that thought to myself. And then I read Matthew 12:33-37, and one line leaped off of the page and slammed right into my brain, giving me what is at least a headache, but may quite possibly be a concussion. I should probably skip today’s nap, just in case.

“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.  You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.  The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.  But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.  For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Some of the things I have read, heard and spoken in the past few months, even years, are telling on the heart of the Church, on my own heart.  We bash pastors, churches and fellow christians. It seems we are always on the lookout for what christians are doing wrong, bringing into question whether they are “really” christians, or at a minimum, what kind of christian they are. Of course, because we are, after all, christians, we wrap it all up, put a big bow on it and call it “speaking the truth in love”. And then we go back to adjusting our robes and polishing our gavels.

To be fair, we don’t always go to that extreme. We keep a tighter rein on our tongues by limiting ourselves to complaining and grumbling against our brothers and sisters. We question their motives and their methods, and their true devotion, as though we ourselves are the barometer for all things right and true.

I do this. Me. I say ‘we’, because I’ve listened to ‘we’ so I know it’s ‘we’, but right now God is dealing with the ‘I’ in ‘we’.

They say that we can’t know what is in another person’s heart. Jesus begs to differ. All we have to do is listen. I have listened to the overflow of my own heart, and I am grieved. I am especially pained by the fact that I have caused others to get caught in my overflow.

Based on what I’ve seen, I do not have a tongue problem. I have a heart problem. I don’t want a heart like mine, I want a heart like His. So I listen to the overflow of God’s heart for His Church…and begin to seek an exchange of hearts. Mine for His.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—  for we are members of His body.”  Ephesians 5:25-28

Today, I apologize to His Church, His Bride, especially those who have found themselves caught in my overflow. I have not loved you as He has loved you. Today, I am going after His heart for you, because I want to change the overflow of mine.