coming up from rock bottom

Picnic-Table-on-Sceen-Porch (1)We sat across from each other on the back porch, our bibles and papers fluttering in the afternoon breeze. We didn’t mind the occasional paper chase, since the breeze made the humidity bearable.

She is full of questions, this one, and I note the hint of suspicion in those questions. I am surprised that it stirred in me such a need to defend God. We hit the parables and her need to know why Jesus spoke in ways that everyday people couldn’t understand and I found myself struggling. And then like rapid fire we landed in the quagmire of the gift of tongues and why do we constantly praise Him when we pray before we ever get to the real praying part and what is this business of baptism in the Holy Spirit anyway?

(Speaking of Holy Spirit, I could use Your help right about now Sir.)

And oh yeah, there’s that book of Daniel and what does all that mean and then it came. That last question that formed over this…

“Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.” (Daniel 10:12)

If God is so quick to answer, why did He wait so long to rescue her from her pain? She had prayed all those years, but nothing happened.

And I felt the gentle come to my heart as Holy Spirit split the humidity of our atmosphere and sat down at our table.

With some questions of my own she revealed that in her time in the pit she had believed in God, even loved God, but wanted nothing to do with Jesus or the bible.

Mary_at_the_feet_of_Jesus[1]So in the flutter of bible pages and notes, I told my own “rock bottom” story. That for me, it was only when Jesus was my only option that I finally surrendered and it’s sad, but for a lot of us, rock bottom is what it takes. And then our eyes met and I spoke what I wanted her to get most from this conversation.

Rock bottom is not what God wants, and the fact that it is often what we require is a testament to our hearts, not God’s.

I saw the softening as she agreed, and talked of the day she finally said ok, she would give this Jesus a try and that was when everything began to change.

She said she wanted to do more of this, so I promised her that we would do just that, and that I look forward to it.

Because with all her questions and suspicions and talk of tongues being “hooey”, God’s heart is crazy about this woman. And He looks forward to sitting with her in her favorite spot on the back porch, on humid days, chasing papers that flutter in the breeze, waiting to answer the real question in her heart.

And I get to watch the unfolding of a love story as a woman comes up from rock bottom and falls in love with Jesus.

It never gets old.

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