drum beats

It began with Believing for Wonderful. Then there was a teaching in the discipleship school. We wrote on a name tag the negative word that describes how we really tend to identify ourselves. My name tag was too small. I wrote Insecure because it was the least revealing and I wasn’t ready for this class of 33 strangers to know that I could have covered my whole body in name tags.

doorwayAnd I hated that this door had been opened because I’ve marched to the rhythm of what is behind it and I don’t know another way to march.

 I want to slam that door but God opens doors that no man can close. 

And now my soul is open and my name tags have been exposed and I can feel the beat of the liar playing my song full of ‘you are’s…’ and ‘you are not’s…’. And I know I get to choose but choosing is hard when you’ve marched this long to one song. Even when you know the song is a lie.

And then this…

“So He replied to the messengers, “Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor.” Luke 7:22

Tell John that I am changing identities.

Whatever I was I am not anymore and this is good and this is true but it is not enough to drown out the drum and stop my feet from marching to its lying beat.

It takes a small still voice to do that.

“You are concerned with the wrong identity.”

And I knew and I could feel the shift in my soul and who I am lost significance and the drumbeat faded.

drumBecause I was not made to march to the rhythm of me and my and mine. 

Knowing who I am in Christ is important but it is pale.  I am chosen, loved, sanctified, justified, saved, and set free, but this is not the I am that must set the rhythm for my life. 

I AM the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God—the one who is, and who was, and who is still to come—the All-Powerful!” (Revelation 1:8)

He opened a door in my soul marked “Identity” and I tried to kick it closed because as with most things, I thought it was about me.  Instead, I found freedom. And let me just tell you this…there is no freedom as sweet as the freedom of discovering all over again that it is not about me.

Is has always been and will always be all about the great I AM. The identity changer who never changes. The One who saw me, saved me and chose to make His dwelling in me.

Wherever I go. Whatever room I walk into. Wherever I speak.  No matter how hard the liar beats his drum, my heart will move to this rhythm…

“Christ in you, the hope of glory”.

(Colossians 1:27)


4 thoughts on “drum beats

  1. “but this is not the I am that must set the rhythm for my life.”

    What a powerful statement. What a powerful truth. What freedom! Thank you for being so vulnerable and for this amazing insight!


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