Reading the words of John and I knew I was missing a point somewhere. So I did what I do when I’m stuck in this age. I went there to that age, to that mountainside. I put myself among the ragamuffins and I looked at what they saw and I listened to what they heard. And the point I was missing found me.
Then Jesus went up on a mountainside and sat down with His disciples. The Jewish Passover Festival was near.
When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward Him, He said to Philip,“Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” He asked this only to test him, for He already had in mind what He was going to do.
Philip answered Him, “It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!”
Oh Philip. Come stand by me because we both see the same thing here.
You and I see impossible. There’s just too much here to fix. Too many, too much and not enough. Pockets and heart are both kinda empty so how on earth can these ‘too many’ hungry ones be fed? How can so many be helped when there’s not enough to give?
When our eyes are on the great crowd of need and not on the Bread of Life, impossible is all we see.
And sometimes we don’t realize that the testing of our faith is a test of Who we see in the midst of seeing impossible. And I have been overwhelmed of late. My eyes have been fixed on the crowd with their heads down and their hands out and my not enough keeps getting bigger.
And Jesus took a little boy’s not enough and made it more than enough but I’ve stopped offering up my not enough. Because just like ragamuffin Philip all I see is the hunger while I am right there in the presence of the Bread.
I see broken and hungry and lost and hurting but I don’t see an answer and Jesus is wondering if I see Him.
Because every need I see is a need for Him, not me.
I am not enough for the sea of needs around me. I am not enough for the outstretched hands and hearts that clamor for filling. I am not enough to fix what is broken or heal what is hurting.
But every need I see is a need for Him, not me. That’s the point that found me on that mountainside as I looked at the impossible with Philip.
Five loaves and two fish was not enough. It will never be enough. But placed into the hands of Jesus it will be more than enough.
3 thoughts on “I am not enough”
“When our eyes are on the great crowd of need and not on the Bread of Life, impossible is all we see.”
I audibly moaned when I read this line, because it struck my heart so deeply! I get too distracted, and I needed this reminder to stop and look at Him — the Break of Life. Thank you so much Karla, for once again allowing Jesus to speak to my heart through your wonderful gift of writing!
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Thank you for being such a faithful reader and encourager Cheri!
Love this. I have been urged of late, to not look around but look at Jesus. He is doing the looking around that is needed, I don’t have to. He is responsible for what’s needed to be done, not me. It is to big for me, as it is meant to be, but Jesus is on the job, doing what He was meant to do….be God & be amazing!
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