“Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.” Psalm 90:1

“The God of old is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” Deuteronomy 33:27

From pages so old, Moses is whispering to us that God is our home.

I know. Home wasn’t always a good place for me either. It wasn’t always safe and mostly I couldn’t wait to leave. It was where escape became my first and strongest addiction. And then I found other so-called homes. Relationships that hurt. Marriages that hurt. Places that made me long to be free, to be anywhere but there.

I always had a roof over my head but I was always homeless.

Because true home is a safe place – physically and emotionally. A refuge. A place we don’t want to leave and when we do we can’t wait to return. It is where we feel most welcomed, most ourselves, most free. Home is where we live, not where we simply survive.

And finally, after running from every other place that called itself home for me, I ran to God. I didn’t feel safe with Him at first, because I didn’t feel safe with anyone. Trust issues don’t just disappear when you say a prayer, know what I mean? Words like “God will punish you for that” don’t just stop sounding true. I didn’t know that He is actually kind, or safe. I didn’t know that I had finally run home.

Belief doesn’t just show up in us. We choose it, because we have been given free will to do so. Everything we believe was a choice we made to believe it. For years I chose to believe that if I just hung in there, tried a little harder, my life would get better and I would end up happy. But eventually, it became clear to me that nothing was going to change and that made me sad and panicked and tired. Out of hope. And just as one king has to die for another king to take his place, one belief system has to end so that another can begin.

So one day in a hospital cafeteria I chose to believe that Jesus was the Son of God, that He died to pay the price for my sins, and I could now be forgiven and have eternal life. But honestly? The thing I most needed at that moment, the choice that was like jumping off a cliff for me, was to believe that God could change my life. If that wasn’t true, then I was a goner. So I jumped.

Some people feel most “with” God when they are in worship. For others, it’s being in nature, or maybe it’s when they are gathered with other Christians in prayer. I know a few Christians who only feel close to God when they are in church. Others have a particular spot in their home where they meet with Him. For me, there’s only ever been one place.

From that hospital cafeteria, I went back to my life, to a husband and kids and emotional wounds that wouldn’t quit. And a bible. That’s it. No church. No bible study groups or women’s ministries. Just a bible that I didn’t understand, and a need to know God. I needed to find out who He was and why He loved me. That was 30 years ago and today, the Word of God and the presence of God are the same thing to me. I am most at home when I am with Him in the scriptures. I feel safe there. Loved and free. It’s where I talk to my Father and He talks to me. It is always where I most want to be.

For Christians, life is a journey home, and doesn’t that make you think heaven? But Moses has whispered something and I can’t shake it.

God is our home. Heaven is where we finally see what home looks like.

 

{Dear believer – while the scriptures may not feel like home for you, they are where the truth is found. They are where you will come to know Him, the One you have chosen to believe. To try to follow Christ with nothing more than a sporadic or occasional glance at the Word of God will make following Him a confusing, cumbersome endeavor. Or worse, an option.}

#readyourbible