me and this pandemic

Just typing the title to this thing is surreal. Pandemic? Did not see that coming. But here it is and all of our normal just went away to we don’t know where. Everything is shaking and everything keeps changing, and this is all just so weird, right? It’s weird. Bizarre. But it’s our life right now so I’m trying to roll with it. Some days I roll better than others.

I’m fortunate to be able to work from home, but it has been an eye-opening experience, to say the least. Here are a few things I’ve noticed:

I should not be allowed to remain in my pajamas all day. It messes with my mental health. Causes me to shuffle my feet and not wash my hair. I’ve finally compromised with myself. Real clothes on top, pajamas on the bottom. Besides helping me feel more human, I can Zoom with confidence. Again, something I never imagined myself saying. Ever. But here we are. Zooming in my underwear and a blouse.

My friend told me she walked for 2 miles today. Yeah, well, I made 647 trips from my office (bedroom) to my refrigerator, so right back at ya, sister. You know how there are certain animals that you can’t give an unlimited supply of food to, because they’ll just eat themselves to death?

Seriously though, I’m in need of an electric fence around my kitchen, so any recommendations for whoever installs those would be much appreciated.

I need structure, apparently. Did not know that about myself. Before the whole world got sick, I would have described myself as a seat of my pants, roll with the changes, whatever, kinda girl. Like, hippie-ish, only fatter. And less smiley.

Turns out, I am nothing of the sort. I’m more like an accountant, without the math skills. I need the ship to be tight and I need sharpened pencils. I need to-do lists and color coded spreadsheets and timely responses to my emails so that I don’t become overwhelmed and spend an inordinate amount of time in therapy and by therapy I mean eating all the food.

I am an introvert. I didn’t just learn that, I’ve known it since someone posted the symptoms on Facebook one day and healed my world. My general dislike for being around people became a legitimate thing. So naturally, I thought to myself “social distancing? lots of alone time? people can’t touch me or stand too close to me? Step aside ma’am, and let the expert through. I can shelter in place”

And now I’m waving at the mailman like he’s my person. Him and the UPS guy. And random people walking by my house.

A pandemic changes you.

But it does not change God.

While something is literally changing the world, He remains the same. Still near. There remains a peace that cannot be explained. A knowing that things are being handled from the throne of heaven, a power far greater than this virus, a plan that has not been thwarted or defeated in any way. A purpose that is from the beginning and to the end.

This is hard, this thing we are all going through. We’re all experiencing some kind of loss and it can become the only thing we see. But this truth still remains:

In the middle of a pandemic, the people of God are still the people of abundant life. Don’t let the devil try to convince you otherwise.

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