40 days of truth: Day 1

I am His friend

I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father. 

John 15:15

I have a best (human) friend. I can tell her anything, trust her with any secret. When I need to laugh or cry or vent about the way people drive or the growing shadow of evil in our land, she’s there for it. I never feel the need to impress her, because I know she loves me at both my best and my worst. It’s an easy relationship she and I have together. Friendships like that aren’t all that common, and I am thankful to have her.

It’s harder to be friends with Jesus.

He is God. Holy. Perfect in every way. I know He sees me at my worst and still loves me, but that doesn’t make me feel comfortable, it just makes me want to hide my worst parts. I only want Him to see me in my most put togetherness (which means He would hardly ever see me). And I know that He knows all the secrets, but still, I don’t speak of them with Him. I just know that He knows and He knows that I know He knows, so we leave it at that. I leave it at that. This silliness is not a “we” thing with me and God. It’s all me.

But I would like to be done with all of that now, and start declaring the truth. When I am tempted to hold back. When I want to turn away because I feel ugly on the inside. When I start to relax in the shallows of faith, rather than push through the resistence of going deeper, because going deeper means more expsoure of what I don’t want to see, or be seen. When I fall back on performing for Him instead of just sitting with Him.

I am His friend, and He is mine.

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