Now the men were frightened when they were taken to his house. They thought, “We were brought here because of the silver that was put back into our sacks the first time. He wants to attack us and overpower us and seize us as slaves and take our donkeys.” Genesis 43:18
Joseph had already been good to his brothers the first time they came to Egypt seeking relief from the famine. Of course, they didn’t know he was their brother just yet, but they did know that for some reason, they were receiving extraordinary treatment, and it made them uneasy.
Remember how the brothers responded to Joseph’s harsh words on their first trip to Egypt?
They said to one another, “Surely we are being punished because of our brother. We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen; that’s why this distress has come on us.” Genesis 42:21
Guilt can make us assume that anything negative we are going through is a punishment, and cause us to suspect anything good that comes to us. That’s how I lived for many years, even after I was saved — assuming God was mad at me for all of the bad things I had done. And when something good did happen, I nervously waited for some mysterious “other shoe” to drop. Today, I can’t say that I fully comprehend the forgiveness that God has given to me, but I have learned to trust it.
Joseph’s brothers were unaware of how his heart was moved by the sight of his youngest brother, Benjamin, his brother from the same mother (I couldn’t wait to use that line). They has no idea the longing in Joseph’s heart to have his family restored. And because they don’t know his heart, they made assumptions that stirred up their own fears and suspicions. But perhaps it wasn’t just Joseph’s heart they didn’t know…
He replied, “Peace to you, do not be afraid. Your God and the God of your father has put treasure in your sacks for you.” Genesis 43:23
The kindness that Joseph showed his brothers in returning their money to them, was actually attributed to God, yet they remained fearful that something bad was happening to them because of what they had done to Joseph.
Sometimes, I think we struggle to see past ourselves enough to really see God. And when we do catch a good look at His grace, we see it through the filter of us, so it looks distorted. Suspicious. Like something we know good and well we don’t deserve.
If we want to see grace as it really is, we have to stop making it about us. He is full of grace. He is generous and He is kind, and His heart longs for restoration, not punishment.
He didn’t become that way for us. It was His image long before He made us in it.
Karla Jo Wasion 