Author Archives: Karla Jo Wasion

I love Jesus and His Church. His Word is Truth, His heart is good, and His return is sure.

confessions of a rebellious soul

This is a repost of a previously published blog post. I’ve dusted it off, added and deleted and tweaked, and now I’m reposting. Because I’m still going through this thing, and I needed to feel the weight of that. I also needed to encourage myself with the fact that I’m still in the fight. That I still want, and believe, that I can walk free from bondage. 

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True confession:  I’ve always hated the word ‘obey’. In all of its forms. In any kind of sentence.  Obey seemed oppressive. Controlling. Demeaning. Surely there was a softer way to put it. A gentler call to do what God wanted.

Surely it isn’t rebellion that feeds these thoughts. Surely. 

The change began a few years ago. That’s when I stopped arm wrestling my bondage to food and admitted that it was stronger than me. Much stronger. Overwhelmingly stronger. And I wept and wept because dammit I was tired. Tired of needing to be free of yet another thing and wondering when the last shackle will fall from my soul and thinking this one will be with me to the end.

Then I read  this book. Really, you should read it.

Turns out, it was step one. I had to stop pretending that I didn’t have an idol. Seriously, how can you be this overweight, this miserable, this unhealthy and think idolatry isn’t your deal?  I say you but don’t be offended. We all know I’m pointing at me. I just like saying you more than I like saying I. I think a lot of us are like that. I think it’s a thing we do. But I digress.

Another confession: I have an idol. Actually, my idol has me. Ha Ha. Get it? Yeah, I know, but if I don’t laugh I’m gonna cry and no one wants to see that. Trust me.

I saw the idol. Admitted what it was. Wished I could just wrestle it to the ground and then kill it. But that’s never going to happen. I don’t know about your idol, but I didn’t pick a weak one. No sir. This thing is the Incredible Hulk of idols.

Anyway. Then, I read about Abraham.

{Did you really think I would tell you a story that didn’t include some reference to the Old Testament? You’re new here, I can tell. It’s ok.}

“The Lord said to Abram:  Go out from your land, your relatives, and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.  I will make you into a great nation, I will bless you, I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.  I will bless those who bless you, I will curse those who treat you with contempt, and all the peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” {Genesis 12:1-3}

Blessing flows through obedience. From one generation to another it flows through people who obey God. 

Next confession:  While I avoided the word obey, I’ve always known that obedience was a good thing. Something a Christian is supposed to do. And I did. I obeyed the easy parts. But if you’ve been following Jesus for more than an hour, you know there are hard things and mostly I just turned my head from those and pretended to be busy doing something else. Can I get a witness? It’s ok. Don’t raise your hand. This is about me and as much as I want company right now, I think you’d just distract me. Sooth something in me that shouldn’t be soothed. Excuse something I can’t keep excusing. But thanks for offering.

We’ll just move on to the next step in a process that has actually been harder than it sounds. And not nearly as glamorous.

“For just as through one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so also through the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous.” {Romans 5:19}

Adam so disobeyed and I so disobeyed, but God so loved the world and Jesus so obeyed His Father and now I am saved. Because of obedience that comes from love.

Love and obedience are holding hands and they can’t be separated and salvation flowed through obedience. From a cross made bloody by a Son who loved  and obeyed His Father, it flowed to me.

Confession number (what number are we on?): I’ve had a number of bondages, but none of them were my fault.  That’s not the confession. The confession is that I believed that lie because it was so much easier than the truth.

Every bondage I’ve had came through disobedience. Not through generational blood lines. Not through curses or entrapment or some kind of disorder. I wasn’t born that way. It is true that food addiction, and addiction in general, runs wild and free in my family line, but that fact does not remove my ability to choose differently. I became addicted to things because I didn’t say no to them. I had a stronghold of anger in me because I disobeyed the scriptures on forgiveness and dying to self. I let the sun go down on my anger for years. Seriously. Years. 

I believe it is not generational sins that caused my bondage to food, it is the fact that I have gone to something other than God to find comfort and solace.

Disobedience brings bondage. And the truth will set us free.

“I will always obey Your instruction, forever and ever.   I will walk freely in an open place because I seek Your precepts.” {Psalm 119:44-45}

Freedom flows through obedience and that’s the truth.

And finally, we come to this…

“Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the Devil.” {Matthew 4:1}

You know the story. We all know that Jesus overcame temptation by speaking the word of God to Satan. Except He didn’t.

Let’s be honest. It’s just us here, so why not? It is not a lack of knowledge of the Word of God that keeps us circling the drain of defeat. It’s our lack of actually doing what that Word says. Disobedience, not ignorance, is our issue, wouldn’t you say, just between you and me?

Jesus overcame temptation and defeated Satan not just through speaking the Word of God, but by obeying it. By refusing to make bread when He was –no food for 40 days– hungry.

(I would have made the bread. I would have made bread out of every rock I could find. I would have surrounded myself with rock biscuits.)

Power and victory flow through obedience.

And that’s where He got me. Because apparently, dying from a bondage to food wasn’t enough motivation. But if you tell me that obedience is warfare that will break the back of the enemy, I’m in. Well, I’m interested in being in. I’ve long ago learned that I tend to over commit.

Confession # whatever: Here I go again. Choosing steps of obedience. I will fall and flail about while doing it, because I know me and I know this thing that is gripping me. I will not beat my idol. The only way to be free is to walk away. To obediently walk away from self-soothing and self comfort. From feeding my emotions. From trying to escape by way of the fork in my hand. (I have no idea what I’m even trying to escape, but if you know my story at all, you know that escape was my very first addiction, and that horse is very much still in the race.) I know from experience that it is harder than it sounds on paper. But I also know Jesus, and that alone gives me the advantage.

So if you think of it, pray for me. However God leads you, pray.

When the Process is Painful

Because it isn’t if the process is painful. It will always be when, and that should change how we pray.

When we pray make me holy. Make my spouse holy. Make my children holy – then we must be willing to go through the pain of how God puts holy into us. But the hard part isn’t our pain, it’s watching those we love go through the painful process of God answering our prayers for His will be done in our family as it is in heaven.

Because for God’s will to be done, ours can’t be, and a human will in the process of dying is hard to watch.

Asking God to bring a prodigal to their senses.

Praying that those we love would walk free from fear and anxiety.

Asking God for more of His presence.

We know it isn’t a magic wand that brings the answers to our prayers. It is a powerful God and a good Father, who is committed to the process of forming Christ in us.

Which means unholy things get confronted.

Prodigals land at the end of themselves and the end of self is a painful place.

Fear and anxiety aren’t vanquished, they are faced, because trust is a choice we make in the face of something that feels more familiar.

The things we surround ourselves with must be removed, by us, to make room for more of His presence.

Wounds get opened so they can be cleansed so that the healing we prayed for can come.

Can deliverance and freedom come instantly by the hand of God? Absolutely.

But staying free is a process that involves our will and that process can be hard, because our flesh has to die in order for us to stay free, and man, that hurts.

I said all that to say this –

We pray for the outcome. God chooses the process. We cannot control it, and it will do no good to pray for God to skip the painful parts.

He loves us too much to say yes to that.

One last thing…

Not all answers to prayer are painful. God is so good, so gracious, and so merciful it’s ridiculous. But when we ask Him to do a work in us, or in the people we love, that makes us more like Jesus, you can bet something will have to die with the answer to that prayer.

A painful process is an indicator that God is doing something good. Keep praying!

My Beloved

“How is your beloved better than others, most beautiful of women?“

Song of Songs 5:9

How indeed.

My Beloved has a love like no other.

I have never known a love like His. So consistent, so willing to remain no matter what. A love that I have never had to earn, or fear losing. His is a love that heals and binds and pursues and protects and holds on and persists beyond the boundaries of my understanding. All other loves have broken me, but not His. His made me whole.

My Beloved is truer than any other.

His love is wrapped in mercy and grace and compassion that is not of this place. He has no flaw, no hidden agenda, no selfish motives. He will never show a dark side or prove to be someone other than who He has always been. And if I searched a million days and a million ways I would find no lie in Him, and He has never, not one time, gone back on His word. 

My Beloved is more faithful than any other.

He will never tire of me. Ever. He chose me and has no regret, no wondering if He made the right choice, no question, no moment of wishing He had chosen differently. I’ve never seen His back, even when He has seen mine. He has never let me down, left me disappointed, never made me feel used or too much or not enough. Every day He wants my presence, wants to hear my voice, wants to hold my heart.

My Beloved is more powerful than any other.

His power is unmatched in heaven or on earth. He makes darkness run and hide just by showing up. He makes mountains melt and is an impenetrable shield around me. He can calm any storm, split any sea, heal any disease, rend any veil, move any stone, and change any heart.

Jesus, You are better than any other, in more ways than I can count. I long to bow before You, throw down every crown, and give You endless praise. You are my first love, my King, my Savior, and my home.

The above was today’s devotional piece for Word of God Speak, my weekly email devotional, and this is my shameless pitch for you to subscribe to it. If you want. No pressure. Actually, you know what? Forget I said anything. Who needs another email? Seriously. Unless of course, you want to. Like, you’ve been wishing you could open an email on Fridays at 10 a.m. that would give you a little bite to eat, just a morsel to hold you over for a wee bit. I mean, if that’s the case then, by all means, you should totally hit the subscribe button below and fill out the very, very short form thingy. But only if you want to.

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Genesis 40—The Story God is Telling vs The Story We’re Reading

 Only remember me, when it is well with you, and please do me the kindness to mention me to Pharaoh, and so get me out of this house. For I was indeed stolen out of the land of the Hebrews, and here also I have done nothing that they should put me into the pit.” 40:14-15

Loved by his father.

Given dreams by God.

Bought by Potipher, an officer of the King of Egypt. Elevated to be the overseer of his house.

Given dream interpretations by God, for two officials of the King of Egypt’s court, while in prison.

Hated by his brothers.

Sold into slavery by his brothers.

Falsely accused of rape by Potipher’s wife, and thrown into prison.

When those officials were released, Joseph was forgotten by them.

I don’t know what kind of emotional state Joseph was in by the time we come to the “forgotten in prison” chapter of his life. Was he angry? Confused? Depressed? We aren’t told, so I can only assume that Joseph’s emotional state is not a central issue. And that’s the eye-opener.

Because if most of us read Joseph’s story the way we read our own, his story is about the feelings of his life more than the purpose of his life.

{anyone else besides me get hit by that one?}

We would focus on the injustice and the wounding he experienced and what he did to get past all that and our lesson would be that even through his difficulties, he continued to serve God. It’s a good story and it’s a true story, but I don’t think it’s the story God is telling.

Joseph was hated by his brothers, which is why he got sold into slavery in Egypt. And Joseph was needed in Egypt.

Bought by Potipher, he became a trusted overseer in his master’s house. But then he was falsely accused, trust was broken, and he went to prison. Because prison is where God needed him to be.

In prison, he met two of the king’s officials who each had a dream, which Joseph interpreted. They were then let out of prison and, true to his interpretations, the baker was killed, and the cupbearer was restored to his position. Because God needed someone near the king to know that Joseph could interpret dreams.

And while Joseph had hoped to be released right away, the cupbearer forgot him, and it would be two years before he would remember the man in prison who could interpret dreams. Because in two years, the King of Egypt would have a disturbing dream, and lo and behold, not a single magician or wise man could interpret it. But that’s a part of the story for another time. Today, this is what I saw:

Joseph’s story wasn’t about his pain and suffering, but about his positioning. His pain and suffering led to Israel coming into Egypt to escape the famine, where they became quite numerous, which eventually made Egypt nervous, so they enslaved Israel.

“Then the Lord said to Abram, “Know for certain that your offspring will be sojourners in a land that is not theirs and will be servants there, and they will be afflicted for four hundred years. But I will bring judgment on the nation that they serve, and afterward they shall come out with great possessions.” Genesis 15:13-14

And somewhere in Israel, there would be a 17-year-old boy who was going to endure much pain and injustice, and it would position him to open the door for God’s words to Abraham to come to pass.

How have you been reading your story so far?

Becoming Less

“So they came to John and told him, “Rabbi, the one you testified about, and who was with you across the Jordan, is baptizing—and everyone is going to Him.” (John 3:26)

“…He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)

And the question is, are we willing to learn this most fundamental truth?

Can I handle decrease, even if everyone around me is increasing?

Can I step back instead of stepping up? Can I fade, or does that thought threaten something in me, some kind of need for affirmation? Can my sense of worth handle becoming less significant so that Jesus becomes the all in all He is meant to be?

Can I resist becoming offended when people go to Jesus instead of coming to me?

In my marriage. As a parent. In friendship. In my work. In ministry. As the Church.

Am I willing to become unseen, even after fighting my whole life to be seen? Oh my. That one hits me right in the social media plexus.

This topic could be fluffed up with a lot of words, but let’s not do that today. Today, let’s concentrate on one question –

What would it look like to decrease?

Because Jesus must increase.

It can be painful, or painless, depending on how much we are prepared to become less so that He becomes more.

Who Is With You?

“But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” And God said, “I will be with you.”

{Exodus 3:11-12}

Moses, a Hebrew raised as an Egyptian who was on the run for killing an Egyptian, meets God for the first time in a bush that was on fire. With no small talk and very little in the way of introduction, Moses is given his calling. Go back to Pharaoh, who happens to want you dead, and command him to release the people of God out of slavery. Wow. 

Naturally, Moses’ first question was “who am I to do such a thing?”. God’s answer to Moses’ insecurity? I will be with you.

In other words, who you are is less important than who will be with you.

The truth about most of us is that we would prefer to do what we feel capable of doing. We want to find what we’re good at and just stick with that, without wandering into places that wake up our insecurities. 

The truth about God is that He rarely calls us to do what we’re most comfortable doing but rather, He calls us to do what will require us to rely on Him. 

I am with you is not just a nice thing for God to say, it is His assurance that He’ll have our back. He will be there with all of His power, all of His authority, all of His wisdom, all of His strength – with all of Him. He’s not saying I’ll be there, watching it all unfold. He’s saying I’ll be with you in this thing. We will be together.

And He didn’t just say it to Moses. He repeats it over and over in His Word, and, it’s one of the last things Jesus said to His disciples.

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” {Matthew 28:19-20}

What if Moses had said no? I fully believe that God still would have brought His people out of Egypt, because He is sovereign, and His plans cannot be thwarted. However, Moses would have missed out on what turned out to be the greatest relationship any man has ever had with God.

Father, I trust You. I pray that I will not seek out only what I am confident I can do in my own ability, but that I would be willing to go wherever You send me, do whatever You ask of me, knowing that You will be with me. I don’t want to miss a thing, Lord, not one thing that You want to give me, do with me or through me, speak to me, or work into me.

Internet Theology

“I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has the breath of life in it. Everything on earth will perish. But I will establish My covenant with you, and you will enter the ark—you and your sons and your wife and your sons’ wives with you.”

{Genesis 6:17-18}

 I recently saw a meme that said something along these lines:

God never told Noah not to invite other people onto the Ark.

On the surface, that sounds good. Very inclusionary. Unfortunately, it lacks theological soundness. First of all, it casts blame on Noah that doesn’t belong to him. Second, just because God did not specifically say something, does not mean He did not specifically imply it. He made it clear that He was going to destroy every living thing on the earth, but, He was making a covenant with a specific family – Noah, his wife, his sons and their wives. The implication is that Noah and his family were not given permission to invite any other people into a covenant God was choosing to make.

The suggestion of the meme is that it was not God’s intention to exclude people from the ark, but that it was Noah who chose to exclude. That goes down easy in a culture that is rallying around the word “inclusion” right now, and often the snowballed effect of that easy thought process is “God would never send anyone to hell”. The everyone goes to heaven and all roads lead to God theology, which bears no resemblance to the scriptures, is shaped by culture, not truth.

This is the danger of letting the internet determine what we believe about God. We end up with a god created in someone else’s image, and we don’t know the God in whose image we have been made.

Social media is full of things that sound good and it’s tempting to adopt them as truth. Beware! In the Word of God we have been given what is true, not just what sounds true. This is where our theology is built. The Bible is our plumbline against which every other thing must align itself.

Father, help us to let our theology be shaped by Your Word and not by our culture. Teach us and help us to steward well the truth You have given us.