Random Thoughts

They come in the middle of the night when I’m awakened by either God or my bladder. Hard to tell which it is sometimes. The thoughts trickle in while I drive, while I work, when I’m knee deep in the gospels, and while I’m cooking dinner (admittedly, a rare event). Thoughts, whole and unfinished they come. Like a dripping faucet of Holy Spirit whispers that I hold close, not quite sure what to do with them. Some are the questions of my own ever searching heart. All of it feels like the hands of the Potter, shaping and re-shaping, molding, and smoothing my rough edges.

big picture – make disciples. the church, working as one to reach the lost. global purpose, global pursuit. but it’s the smaller picture that pushes me back and pulls me in close at the same time. the picture of letting Christ be formed in me, not through performance but through bending my knee again and again. and again. big picture, little picture. He is saving the world and He is saving me. glory.

This earth offers two things: light and momentery afflictions, and light and momentary pleasures. we chase the pleasures and hope to avoid the afflictions but the pleasures do us no good. no room for growth, no reason to change, no faith required. it’s the afflictions that matter the most, because they form Jesus in us. push us to seek Him out, lean into Him, fall at His feet.

we should rather have momentary afflictions and eternal pleasure, than momentary pleasure and eternal affliction.

if you understood the grace that is yours, you would live differently. you just would.

matthew 14:17. “we only have…”. the cry of us all. i only have a little. i only have this much, that much, not much. when will i understand that it doesn’t matter how much i have, it matters what God will make of what i have? who might He feed with my little lunch?

you can’t give someone what they are meant to get from Jesus.

Jesus is heaven’s response to sin. every time.

what the church has built for herself, will come down. I will find My remnant.

Jesus, You fascinate me.

how am I living as though God is not in control?

God does not have dreams. He has unchanging plans and purposes, and they are good.

no one comes to the Father except through Jesus. our destination is a person, not a place.

discipleship isn’t making people look like us. it’s helping people look like Jesus.

the devil lied, but Eve engaged the lie. how have i been engaging the lies the enemy is telling?

Matthew 14:14. He had compassion on them and healed their sick. not because they asked the right way, or because they had enough faith, or because they did all the right things. they were healed because He had compassion. no other reason.

i am as in need of Jesus today as i was the first day i met Him.

what has following Jesus cost me?

marriage is a good thing, but it is not the better thing (Luke 10:42). glory days are good, but they are not the better thing. success is a good thing, but it is not the better thing. i fear we are making idols out of good things because we forget there is a better thing. or is it that, honestly, we value the good thing more than the better thing?

Jesus never changed course or softened His message because people were being offended.

can we just talk more about what God is doing than what we’re doing? goodness, let’s talk about Jesus more, in and out of the church.

Random thoughts that push at the edges of my mind until i write them down. Thoughts that turn into conversations with the Holy Spirit and then into something in me moving out of His way, making room for more of Him and less of me.

Don’t ignore the random thoughts.

40 days of truth: day 27—Fleeing is Fighting

But you, man of God, flee from these things, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. 

1 Timothy 6:12

What are “these things” that Paul is telling Timothy to fight by fleeing? False teachers, who “have an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction between people of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain,” and the love of money.

I fight the good fight of faith by running from one thing, in pursuit of another.

I’m not told to reason with false teachers, or attempt to change their teachings, I must remove myself. Get out of that place and chase godliness. Run away from the love of money and toward righteouness.

Running from these things is not cowardly, it is mandatory. And if fleeing is how I fight the fight of faith, then remaining is how I quit fighting. Remaining will open my faith up to destruction.

Not every battle requires me to stand my ground. Sometimes, fleeing is fighting.

Exodus 8: He Is Still Coming After His Own

First there was blood. Now, frogs. As I sit in my front row seat, my eyes darting back and forth from an earthly king to the One who created him, I am mesmerized by the wrestle taking place.

An Egyptian king refused to give up power and control and had no idea that his heart was in the hand of the Almighty, who could harden it, soften it, turn it, or stop it in the blink of an eye. This king was never actually in control, and had no power with which to hold God off. He only thought he did.

The frogs died and Pharoah’s will did not, so bring in the gnats. As it turns out, gnats were the limit of the king’s magician’s dark magic. Who knew? To their credit, they did tell Pharoah that the gnats were from “the finger of God”, but their words fell on a hard heart. Take a seat, magicians, your job here is done.

Flies are now taking the stage, and God is about to change things up. “But on that day I will give special treatment to the land of Goshen, where My people are living; no flies will be there. This way you will know that I, the Lord, am in the land. I will make a distinction between My people and your people. This sign will take place tomorrow.”

Let the negotiations begin! First, Pharaoh summoned Moses and Aaron and said, “Go sacrifice to your God within the country.” No can do sir, because we’re going to kill things that you think are sacred and that’ll start a riot. We’re gonna have to leave the country, go for a 3 day walk.

Ok, fine. Don’t go far. And say a prayer about all these flies.

Flies leave. Pharoah’s rebellion stayed behind and changed his mind. Let My people go is a hard no. Oh Pharoah. Bless your wicked little heart. You’re about to learn such a hard lesson. God is coming after His people and you, sir, do not stand a chance. His victory is certain. But I guarantee that by the time this story is over, you will know that there is but one God, and He is more powerful than you ever dreamed of being.

Roughly 1500 years after the exodus from Egypt, Christ was born and once again, God was coming after His people to rescue them from slavery. Victory was and remains certain.

Exodus 7: He Has Named Us So

I don’t know if I’ve told y’all this before but just case I haven’t, I love the book of Exodus. Love. It. Today, it blew my mind yet again.

Pharaoh will not listen to you, but I will put My hand into Egypt and bring the military divisions of My people the Israelites out of the land of Egypt by great acts of judgment. (Exodus 7:4 CSB)

Do you see it? I didn’t either at first. But now I can’t not see it. So weird how God does that. I looked at a different translation just to make sure I was seeing it right.

Pharaoh will not listen to you. Then I will lay My hand on Egypt and bring my armies, My people the sons of Isra’el, out of the land of Egypt with great acts of judgment. (CJB – Complete Jewish Bible)

The people of Israel had been captive in Egypt for over 400 years. They were oppressed, harassed, and enslaved. In fact, when God called Moses over to the burning bush in chapter 3, He told him that He had seen the misery of His people, and heard their cries.

They were slaves crying out in their misery, but they were already an army because God named them so.

I dare say, friend, that the view from heaven is so very different than here below.

I am a woman fighting battles with my flesh every day, feeling like I’m crawling my way through sanctification mud but I am already seated with Him in heavenly places because He has named me so.

And if all of this is true of the Israelites then and of you and me now, then what is true of His Church?

“You yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 2:5)

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. ” (1 Peter 2:9)

We have leaders falling off pedestals like someone knocked down a domino somewhere and we’re brawling on social media like scrappy boys in a school yard and we are holy and we are royalty because God has named us so.

(As a matter of fact I am aware of my run-on sentence issue. Sometimes my words can’t stop for punctuation.)

Paul tells us that God chose him to be an apostle before he was even born and then he went on to become a pharisee who persecuted the Church. But one day God knocked him down and made him an apostle to build that same Church… because God had named him so.

Oh man I hope this encourages you like it does me. I also hope it convicts you like it convicts me. My earthly view is my reality far too often, but if I’m singing open the eyes of my heart Lord then I should believe I’ll see things differently, right? If He opens the eyes of my heart then I’ll see what He sees and I’ll see what He’s named that I haven’t been able to see through my veil of flesh.

And if I see what He sees because He has named it so, I will believe for beautiful things for the Church and for you and for me. I’ll hold back judgment and offer grace instead because I see what we are from His throne and He offers us all grace in our becoming.

We are His Beloved. He has named us so.

What Are We Building for Heaven’s Sake?

I have no idea if what I’m about to talk about will make sense. We’ll see. My style is not to wait until the story takes shape before I begin to type. Instead, I sit down at this blank screen as soon as I know something is pushing at the edges of my brain; when a whisper becomes persistent, and then I see where it all goes. This is that. I’m in the book of Haggai. Don’t ask me why, it will only distract me.

History: Haggai speaks of the rebuilding of the temple. In 538 B.C., King Cyrus of Persia, who had defeated the Babylonians [who had conquered Jerusalem and taken the Jews captive], gave his permission for the Jews to return to Jerusalem and rebuild the temple. Roughly 50,000 of them returned and began the work. Two years later, the foundation was completed, which caused great opposition from surrounding neighbors who feared what might happen if the temple were completely rebuilt. So the work stopped. Enter the book of Haggai.

“The Lord of Armies says this: These people say: The time has not come for the house of the Lord to be rebuilt.” The word of the Lord came through the prophet Haggai: Is it a time for you yourselves to live in your paneled houses, while this house lies in ruins?” (Haggai 1:2-4)

And this is where something is beginning to push a little harder, but I can’t grab it yet, so let’s keep going.

“You expected much, but then it amounted to little. When you brought the harvest to your house, I ruined it. Why?” This is the declaration of the Lord of Armies. “Because My house still lies in ruins, while each of you is busy with his own house.” (Haggai 1:9)

I picked at the thread, so now I have to keep pulling and see where it goes.

“So, then, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with the saints, and members of God’s household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus Himself as the cornerstone. In Him the whole building, being put together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In Him you are also being built together for God’s dwelling in the Spirit.” (Ephesians 2:20-22 – emphasis mine)

Old Testament temple. Physical picture of a New Testament spiritual reality. Us. The Church. We are the house of God. The place of His dwelling.

“Now, the Lord of Armies says this: “Think carefully about your ways:

You have planted much but harvested little.
You eat but never have enough to be satisfied.
You drink but never have enough to be happy.
You put on clothes but never have enough to get warm.
The wage earner puts his wages into a bag with a hole in it.”
(Haggai 1:5-6)

Because they neglected God’s house, while building their own.

What does that look like here, today, in our world? I don’t know, but I’m willing to throw out some what ifs on the table.

What if it looks like…

  • a greater desire to be culturally relevant than biblically sound
  • a place where pastors, teachers, and worship leaders are turned into celebrities and where “followers” usurps “following”
  • an online presence mattering more than the presence of God (subtly, of course; never admitted. Heavens no.)
  • acceptance = love, but a call for repentance is hateful
  • having the right credentials (degrees, education) is a greater qualifier than the anointing of God

But the thread doesn’t end with the corporate entity known as the Church. Because we, me, you, we’re the Church, so we have to pull that thread until we can see ourselves in the book of Haggai.

What if it looks like this in me, or in you, but probably in that other guy over there for sure…

  • a greater interest in making decisions for the church than making disciples
  • church being where we go or what we do, not who we are – more about a building than a body
  • we prefer to serve in the seen than the unseen
  • we’re more willing to be 10% of Jesus’ wallet, than to be all in as His hands and feet
  • we’d rather walk away with our offense than stay with our forgiveness and grace
  • investing in our future is more important than investing in the Church
  • Church has become optional

Do we feel like we have put so much work into our lives, but don’t really see anything for it? Are we continually dissatisfied, wishing and wanting for something more, something else, something different? Does what we have never seem to be enough?

I wonder if we have attempted to disconnect our personal lives from the Church, when in fact they are indelibly connected. Should we not be sad that we have preferred to build our own house with dead stones, than to be a living stone in building the house of God?

I think I can let go of the thread now. I may need a nap, but I absolutely need some time with Jesus to let Him speak truth into me and into my life.

Thanks for hanging out with me.

On That Day

Two blind men following Him around seeking mercy. “Do you believe that I can do this?” (Matthew 9:28)

pistis. It means “belief with the predominate idea of trust (or confidence) …” (Strong’s)

“Now without faith it is impossible to please God…” (Hebrews 11:6) Same word. Same meaning.

But there is a scene that Jesus describes that puts the pistis rubber to the roman road.

The people in this scene are “many”. The place is before the throne. The time is on that day.

On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophesy in Your name, drive out demons in Your name, and do many miracles in Your name?’ Then I will announce to them, ‘I never knew you. Depart from Me, you lawbreakers!’ (Matthew 7:22-23)

The fact that He called them lawbreakers tells us that they were still under the law, not under grace, and therefore, they were not saved.

The many who will say Lord, Lord will be those doings works while remaining under the law because they put their trust in their works and not in Christ. They used the name of Jesus while not actually knowing Him or being known by Him. The fact that they were were casting out demons and doing miracles did not mark them as belonging to Christ. Even Satan can do miracles.

“The coming of the lawless one is based on Satan’s working, with every kind of miracle, both signs and wonders serving the lie, and with every wicked deception among those who are perishing.” (2 Thessalonians 2:9)

So, to the one who thinks you can do enough good things to make it to heaven, please, lean in for just a minute.

You can’t. You can’t do enough. You can’t prophesy enough, do enough miracles, serve the poor enough, be kind enough, or good enough. You can’t give away enough stuff, pray enough, fast enough, or cast out enough demons. No matter how long you live, you will never do enough to earn one single thing from God, especially salvation.

Because on that day, your eternity will not depend on what you did or didn’t do. It will only depend on whether or not you trusted in Jesus’ atoning work on the cross to be enough.

pistis. Full trust, full dependence, full confidence in His blood to be enough for your salvation. His atonement to be the finished work on your behalf. His payment of your debt. His righteousness for your unrighteousness.

The scene Jesus painted for His disciples of the “many” standing before Him, will be a scene that comes to life one day. On that day, I pray that you and I will stand before Him with only one claim to eternity. His blood.

Thank You Jesus, for saving a wretch like me. May every work I do on this earth be done out of love for You, not a need to be good enough for You.

Exodus 6: We Are the Messenger, Not the Message

But the Lord replied to Moses, “Now you will see what I will do to Pharaoh: because of a strong hand he will let them go, and because of a strong hand he will drive them from his land.”

God’s first words in this chapter are in response to Moses’ last words in the previous chapter – “…why have You brought trouble upon this people… You have not rescued Your people at all.”

God sent Moses to Pharaoh with a message, and the message didn’t work. In fact, it made things worse. At least that’s what it looked like from Moses’ vantage point, and it caused him to despair. Moses didn’t know that his assignment was never intended to be the solution, it was only meant to prepare the way. Moses was not the message. In other words, it was never going to be Moses who changed the heart of the king and freed God’s people.

Moses brought the message of God to Pharoah, but what was going to move the ruler was the power of God. And yet… I still don’t think that’s the full perspective of this chapter, and here’s why. God could have simply brought a deadly plague on every Egyptian, leaving the Israelites free to walk away from their bondage. He could have, with a thought, wiped out their oppressors, if their freedom was the primary goal. But it wasn’t, and we know that because of the next message God gave Moses to take, not to Pharaoh, but to the Hebrew slaves.

Therefore tell the Israelites: I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from the forced labor of the Egyptians and rescue you from slavery to them. I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and great acts of judgment. I will take you as My people, and I will be your God. You will know that I am the Lord your God, who brought you out from the forced labor of the Egyptians.” 

You will know that I am the Lord your God.

I will dare to say that Moses being sent to Pharoah wasn’t about Moses, or even about the oppressed or the oppressor. It was about God being known.

There would be no misunderstanding as to how the Hebrews were rescued from their slavery. No way to chalk it up to good fortune or coincidence, and certainly no way they could ever think that they freed themselves. Everyone involved in this story would know one indisputable fact – God had done this. Not a god, but the God.

You and I, as Christ followers, are in the service of our God, but let us never mistake our assignment to be the solution. Sometimes we will deliver the message, maybe even raise our staff over the water, but it will always be the power of God that parts the sea, turns a heart, heals a disease, or sets someone free – so that they will know that He is the Lord. May we never allow our limited perspective to make any of this about us.

May we (the Church) stop endeavoring to be known. Stop making it about our great preaching, great worship, and great ministries. The number of seats filled and the number of people following us is meaningless as long as it remains about us.

I pray the Church shifts her gaze, and the quest of her heart becomes to simply make Him known.

Because we are the messenger, not the message.

I pray that my gaze shifts off of me – my failures and successes, my not enough or too much, my abilities or inabilities, my have or have not, my following or the lack thereof.

I pray that the quest of my heart becomes to make Him known, even if (when) it means that I am unknown.

Because I am the messenger, not the message.