Category Archives: In the Word

the overflow

Just yesterday I had a thought and decided I probably should not give it a voice. But then today I did my reading in Matthew and realized I needed to talk. I’ll talk to myself. You can listen if you’d like.

After reading a few things on the internet yesterday, here is the thought that popped into my head:  “Most of the christian bashing I hear and read, is done by other christians.” Being a christian myself, you can see why I thought it best to keep that thought to myself. And then I read Matthew 12:33-37, and one line leaped off of the page and slammed right into my brain, giving me what is at least a headache, but may quite possibly be a concussion. I should probably skip today’s nap, just in case.

“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.  You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.  The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.  But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.  For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Some of the things I have read, heard and spoken in the past few months, even years, are telling on the heart of the Church, on my own heart.  We bash pastors, churches and fellow christians. It seems we are always on the lookout for what christians are doing wrong, bringing into question whether they are “really” christians, or at a minimum, what kind of christian they are. Of course, because we are, after all, christians, we wrap it all up, put a big bow on it and call it “speaking the truth in love”. And then we go back to adjusting our robes and polishing our gavels.

To be fair, we don’t always go to that extreme. We keep a tighter rein on our tongues by limiting ourselves to complaining and grumbling against our brothers and sisters. We question their motives and their methods, and their true devotion, as though we ourselves are the barometer for all things right and true.

I do this. Me. I say ‘we’, because I’ve listened to ‘we’ so I know it’s ‘we’, but right now God is dealing with the ‘I’ in ‘we’.

They say that we can’t know what is in another person’s heart. Jesus begs to differ. All we have to do is listen. I have listened to the overflow of my own heart, and I am grieved. I am especially pained by the fact that I have caused others to get caught in my overflow.

Based on what I’ve seen, I do not have a tongue problem. I have a heart problem. I don’t want a heart like mine, I want a heart like His. So I listen to the overflow of God’s heart for His Church…and begin to seek an exchange of hearts. Mine for His.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—  for we are members of His body.”  Ephesians 5:25-28

Today, I apologize to His Church, His Bride, especially those who have found themselves caught in my overflow. I have not loved you as He has loved you. Today, I am going after His heart for you, because I want to change the overflow of mine.

Just A Glimpse

Matthew 12:1-13 is an interesting passage. Actually, it became interesting to me today, because today is really the first time I read it in search of God’s heart. I’ve read it many times before, and kind of understood the lesson in it, but today I squinted, and I caught a glimpse of something else.

I wonder if Jesus knew His disciples were hungry when He decided to lead them through a grocery store even though it wasn’t time to eat, according to the rules (actually, it was a grain field, but I’m picturing myself following Jesus and I don’t know that I would break any rules just to eat grain. I’d like to think I’d at least need a potato chip aisle.). I wonder if He knew the Pharisees were lurking about, watching and waiting. I wonder if this was a set-up. But that’s not what I saw when I squinted. I just like to wonder about things.

I read the entire passage three times before I saw it. There, in five little words in verse 7, I caught a glimpse of the heart I am after. “I desire mercy, not sacrifice…”.

“mercy: kindness or goodwill towards the miserable and the afflicted, joined with a desire to help them”  “sacrifice:  animal or other “sacrifices,” as offered under the Law”. (Hebrew/Greek lexicon)

I won’t go into how so many of us know God according to the “rules” of Christianity. We know what is required of us, and we definitely know what is required of other people. I won’t talk about our determination of how much we will help someone is often made by how much they are willing to help themselves, or by whether or not they are willing to start following the rules.  Let’s not discuss how obsessive-compulsive we can be about rules and regulations, while completely dismissing the affliction of the alcoholic standing in front of us…or the one who can’t stop taking pain medication, or eating food…or the one who is losing everything because they don’t have a money management skill in their body, and they have an affinity for making bets.  If they would all just follow the rules, they wouldn’t need our help, right? But I won’t go into any of that today.

Instead, I will stand in front of a mirror. I will watch as I continually beat myself up every time I fail to meet the requirements of the rules. I’ll listen to the chastisement of my own heart against me for being unable to go far without falling down. I’ll watch the look of contempt on my face as I see myself once again struggling to untangle things, knowing my entanglement was my own fault.

I have glimpsed God’s heart today. And now I know. The emotional beatings, chastisement, and contempt that I assumed were His, were only mine.

“I desire mercy…”  It’s just a glimpse.

come to rest

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

An invitation.  To the Jews it was an invitation to come out from under the weight of the law, and the rules imposed by the religious leaders.  An invitation to come to grace.  As I read this scripture today, even as a follower of Christ, I still hear an invitation.

To the one frantically trying to make life work…Come to Me.

To the one trying so hard to be good enough…Come to Me.

To the one who feels the weight of failed expectations…Come to Me.

To the one tired of hoping…Come to Me.

To the weary, the scared, the disappointed, the hurting…Come to Me.

Come, join Me. Discover that I am not harsh, that I carry no whip. Discover that my only motivation is love.  My intentions are not to work you harder, but to give you rest. 

Rest, because as I live life in you, life works.  Rest, because I have already made you good enough. Rest. Let Me be the expectation of your life. I will not fail.

Come to Me, and cease your frantic striving.  Throw off the yoke of performance and join the One who loves who you are, not what you do. You think you are managing your fear. You aren’t. Your fear is managing you.  “There is no fear in love”. Come to Me.  Let Me love you. Fear will leave.

Here, with Me, you will have a different view. You will see your life, even the disappointing parts, in the light of your Father’s perfect plan.  Your hope has had many homes, and the disappointment has been heavy. So much disappointment has left your heart wounded. Make your home here, next to Me. Let Me be your hope. You will not be disappointed.  Your heart will heal.

The invitation is still there. Every day. For me. Come to Me. Come back to grace. Rest.

truth revealed

I was all set to talk about rest for the weary in Matthew 11:28-30 because it’s one of my favorite passages. But I can’t, because I’m stuck on the scriptures before that, when Jesus thanked His Father for hiding and revealing truth. (v.25-26) His prayer comes directly after His pronouncement of “woe” upon those cities who saw His miracles, yet would not repent.

“At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.  Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.”

I keep staring at these verses, trying to discover what I’m supposed to learn from them. Perhaps it’s that somewhere along the way, I grew from a child to an adult.  I gathered enough information to make me “wise”, and stopped watching Jesus with wide eyed wonder and trust.  Have I settled for studying His Word so that I can learn all about Him, rather than running after Him because I thirst to know Him? It begs the question, “what has been hidden from me because I thought I already knew it?”

Maybe the lesson is that the miracles that Jesus did were not to teach His followers how to heal or cast out demons, but they were God saying, “This is My Son. My Messiah. You should turn around and follow Him.” Perhaps I’m supposed to learn that when I see Jesus, He isn’t looking at me with disappointment because I’m not doing this “christian” thing right. He’s looking at His Father, wanting my gaze to follow His.

I’m still not satisfied that I’ve learned what I’m supposed to know.  Something is missing. So I read the verses again. I am aware that there is something of God’s heart here, and I want it. And then the little child’s heart in me skips a beat as I hear God speak.

“Truth is not learned. It is revealed.”

My Father is truth. He doesn’t want me to learn Him. He wants to reveal Himself to me. It brings Him pleasure. It’s as simple as that.

what did i expect?

Blind people see. Lame people walk. The unclean are now clean. Deaf people hear. Dead people are now alive. And the lost are being found. Blessed is the one who doesn’t walk away because he was expecting something else.

That was Jesus’ answer to John the Baptist’s inquiry from prison:  “Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?” (Matthew 11:-6)

Then Jesus asked the crowd about their expectations of John the Baptist. Only those expecting a prophet would not have been disappointed.

Jesus described “this generation” by their expectations, and the fickleness of those expectations. “That” generation may be no different than “this” generation.

The Messiah that was “expected” would have been a royal warrior. One who would overthrow the oppression of the Roman rule and establish the Jewish Kingdom. To say the least, He was not what they expected. Turns out, they expected far too little of Him.

What about us? Are we any different? I know some who have walked away because they didn’t get what they expected from Jesus. The problem is not who Jesus is or what He does or doesn’t do. The problem is what we expect of Him.

We expect Him to change our spouse so that we can have a happy marriage. He instead teaches us the true meaning of dying to ourselves. We expect Him to keep us employed so we can pay our bills. He takes away our job, and we learn dependency on the One who provides when there is no provision in sight. We make a plan for our lives and expect Him to make it happen. He throws out our plan and we find ourselves in the middle of something we never dared to dream up, and we have no idea where we’re heading or how to get there. So we have to continually seek Him for our next step. We expect a life without pain or suffering. We get troubles, trials, and suffering that bring us face to face with mercy, comfort, and a place of refuge like no other. We expect happiness, not realizing that happiness is fleeting. He gives us joy, which abides in the deep place of our heart even in the midst of difficulty. We expect punishment and receive forgiveness.

We expect a “saved” life to be lived out on this earth basically the way we see fit. We expect to see Jesus in heaven, but until then, we’re on our own for the most part. We expect to have lives that won’t really matter or make a difference. We expect to have a relationship with Jesus that doesn’t include His Body, that doesn’t require us to walk in submission to others, that doesn’t seek to force our hearts out into the open. We expect our lives to be, well, ours.

You see, we too expect too little of Jesus.

Until our expectations of Jesus change, He will never meet them. Hopefully, we won’t walk away before we realize that He has far surpassed every expectation.

would I go?

I tried to imagine myself among the twelve men Jesus called and then sent in chapter 10 of the gospel of Matthew. As I read the scriptures, I pictured myself standing among them, hearing these instructions for the first time with them. I then wondered how I would receive His instructions today, in the world I inhabit, in the Church as it is today. What follows are my thoughts as I read chapter 10 as though I am standing with the twelve. In all fairness though, these are not just my own thoughts. I have heard the same kind of thoughts expressed by others, so I can’t take all of the credit (or the rap) for what follows.

“Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons.”   What if it doesn’t work? What if I don’t have enough faith in that? What if I pray for them and they don’t get healed or come back to life? Then I’ll look like an idiot, and I’ll make people doubt Your power.

“Do not take any gold or silver…take no bag for the journey or extra tunic or sandals…”  No provisions? No money? That doesn’t seem very prepared to me. What if there’s an emergency? How can I wear the same clothes the whole time? Is it wise to depend on the generosity of the people we are being sent to?

“Be on your guard..they will hand you over…and flog you.” Beg your pardon?  Surely there is some other, less dangerous way to do this.

“All men will hate you…when you are persecuted, flee…”  I don’t want people to hate me. I work very hard to make sure people like me. And I can’t run very fast. Seriously. I can’t.

“Do not  be afraid of those who kill the body  but cannot kill the soul.”  Don’t be afraid? I’m already afraid. I was afraid when you said “flog”. Now you’re saying I might die. I don’t know about this. I have a family to think about. 

“Anyone who loves his father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.” There must be some other meaning to that statement.

“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.”  I don’t know. This all sounds extreme. I’m going to have to pray about this. You can’t make this kind of commitment without a lot of prayer and counsel. I need to be wise and figure out if I am really being called to do something this radical.

I wonder. If Jesus chose 12 of us today, how many of us would still be standing there at the end of His instructions? Would there be one who would say “Here I am. Send me.”?

We don’t know what those disciples were thinking or feeling.  What we do know is this. Because of the commitment of the early followers of Jesus, you and I received the good news. The willingness of a few to lay down their lives for Christ completely changed the world. We also know that the world still needs to hear about Jesus.

As I put myself among them, hearing the instructions Jesus sent them out with, I marvel at their courage. And I am inspired by their love for the One sending them. I am also very aware that I don’t really know if I would have remained standing there. I need to search my heart and examine the strength of my love and commitment to Jesus and the radical way of life that comes with being His follower. And then I need to get at His feet and ask Him to strengthen that in me that feels so weak at the moment.

I should probably also stop trying to figure out just how much a flogging would hurt. I think I may be obsessing.

they’re everywhere!

Chapter 9 is not the first sighting, but it is where Jesus taught me two lessons about Pharisees. Before I start on that, below is a partial definition of a “pharisee” from Strong’s Concordance:

They sought for distinction and praise by outward observance of external rites and by outward forms of piety, and such as ceremonial washings, fastings, prayers, and alms giving; and, comparatively negligent of genuine piety, they prided themselves on their fancied good works…According to Josephus they numbered more than 6000. They were bitter enemies of Jesus and his cause; and were in turn severely rebuked by him for their avarice, ambition, hollow reliance on outward works, and affection of piety in order to gain popularity.

I did some looking around for definitions of a “modern day Pharisee”, so that I could try to see what it might look like to be one today. I found some interesting definitions on various websites, primarily Wikipedia.

Someone that attends church every time the doors are open, yet doesn’t put what is taught into practice. They may know the Bible front to back, and back to front, but not really get the meaning of it all. They look at others, and wonder why they don’t know as much as they do about God.Their hearts are not in it, although their actions are doing all the right things, so they think. Jesus said they were clean on the outside, but dirty on the inside.

the word “Pharisee” has taken up a connotation that means a person who self-righteously follows minute religious regulations and feels holier than those who don’t.

I am going to add to these my own definition:  Someone who studies scripture and knows it well, but uses it primarily for the purpose of pointing out the “sins” of others. They hold the Word of God up to everyone’s heart but their own.

Now, onto my lessons.  In chapter 9, Jesus continues to heal, teach, and cast out demons. Everywhere He was, Pharisees were close by. They accused Him of blasphemy (v.3), questioned His association with sinners (v.11), and decided that He drove out demons by the “prince of demons” (v.34). As I read and re-read these passages, I noticed something. The Pharisees themselves never questioned or commented directly to Jesus. They said things to themselves, and they questioned His disciples. Yet, every time, Jesus stepped in and did the answering.  I asked God, “what is it that You want me to see in this?” And He asnwered.

“Pharisees are everywhere. Do not defend yourself against their questioning or their accusations. Leave that to Me. Just keep following.”

There is a difference between the loving rebuke of a brother or sister in Christ, and the accusation of a Pharisee. One will bring conviction and the encouragement to keep following Jesus, and the other will bring condemnation and the desire to give up.

So my first lesson was that they are everywhere, so just keep walking. Leave them to God. What was my second lesson?

I sometimes have the heart of a Pharisee. If you see me coming with that heart, just keep walking. Follow Jesus.