Category Archives: Blog

Marriage Matters—It’s Subtraction

I was thinking about marriage the other day, as I was getting ready for work. It took a hot minute for me to realize God was present, directing the entire conversation I was having with myself. 

I pondered my young, selfish view of marriage so many years ago, and then how many people I see today who have that same view. Oh, it’s not a conscious attitude. If it were we would surely correct ourselves. It shows up in our words and actions, without ever making an appearance in our brain (so it would seem). 

It’s the idea that when we get married, we are adding a spouse to our life. 

And then we’ll just go on with all our dreams, with all our habits and ways – we’ll just have someone else joining us. 

We don’t really think that deep about things like how we’ll spend our money now, how we’ll spend our time. We go into marriage enamored with the idea of sharing our life with this other person. Our life. Not their life. 

{And let’s be honest, many of us don’t think past the relief that now, we won’t be alone. That’s really as far as we got in considering this marriage gig.}

We don’t count the cost of marriage. We don’t think about all the ways our lives will no longer be our own, or about the fact that we are going from independence to dependence. We don’t consider that our plans and our dreams and our passions will not be center stage anymore – there is someone else’s plans, dreams, and passions in the picture now. 

We don’t let it sink in that we aren’t adding someone to our life, we are dying to our old life to begin this new life. We’re giving up our right to do anything our own way anymore, our right to live independent, to spend ourselves on what we want. To chase our own dreams, pursue our own plans. Marriage is about two becoming one, moving as one, living as one.

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  (Matthew 19:6)

Marriage is not addition, its subtraction.

When we get that and choose accordingly, our marriage will flourish. When we don’t, it will break.

And when I bent over to spit the toothpaste out, God bent down with me and whispered… 

That same view of marriage is permeating the Gospel today. 

God forgive us for allowing people to believe that they are adding You to their life. 

“Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” – Revelation 19:9

declarations

Hard week. A member of our lifegroup lost her 23-year-old son on Saturday. We are all a bit in shock, I think, but at the same time, our church community has gathered like an army around this family. It’s a beautiful picture to watch. If you think about it, lift up the Thomas family in prayer. They are living every parents’ worst fear.

At lifegroup last night I felt led to have us do some declaring. So after worship, we got down to it. With 3 pages of declarations in hand, we went around the table taking turns reading them. It got a little loud at times, lemme tell ya. These women de.clared some things! Vehemently. Passionately. Beautifully.

It left us wanting more.

I don’t know the mechanics of it. Can’t answer why. But I do know this – there is power in the room when truth is being declared. There is a fierce kind of faith that rises up when the scriptures are spoken over those in the room. When we declare the truth over ourselves and over our lives, lies begin to break.

{Because a lie from the enemy cannot withstand the sword of the Spirit.}

We will have ‘declaration nights’ more often. And hopefully, that will turn into declaration mornings for us individually. And declaration days. Until declaring truth is how we live life.

who has heard?

“I know that the Lord has given you this land and that the terror of you has fallen on us, and everyone who lives in the land is panicking because of you. For we have heard how the Lord dried up the waters of the Red Sea before you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to Sihon and Og, the two Amorite kings you completely destroyed across the Jordan. When we heard this, we lost heart, and everyone’s courage failed because of you, for the Lord your God is God in heaven above and on earth below.” – Joshua 2:10-11

Do you know who hears about that time God made $600 appear in our bank account? Or the day I had a horrible toothache and He told me to lay hands on my jaw and command healing to come, and it came? Or any of the many times God has been spectacularly evident for me?

Believers. Other Christians that are like-minded, who worship like me, believe like me, use the same lingo I use. That’s who hears about the exploits of God in my life. Know why? Because they won’t think I’m weird. They won’t look at me like I just grew another head. They won’t walk away thinking I’m “one of those people”, and try to figure out how to avoid lengthy conversations with me in the future.

So God is dealing with me right here in Joshua’s story. Dealing with my need for people, both believers and unbelievers, to approve of my walk with God. At the same time, He is showing me the bigger picture (because there is always a picture that is bigger than me and my life) of the Church.

So let’s talk about that. It’s much more interesting than the angst I am dealing with on a personal level as God exposes motives and various items of junk in my heart.

“I know that the Lord has given you this land and that the terror of you has fallen on us, and everyone who lives in the land is panicking because of you.” (v. 9)

You know those toys, the things that show you one picture if you hold it a certain way, but if you shift your hand just slightly, a different picture appears? Let’s do that with this passage.

If we hold it one way, we see the real story taking place of two spies and a prostitute having a conversation. But let’s shift our hand ever so slightly.

Now we see the spiritual picture of God’s people and the enemy (satan and his demons). We see the realm that we miss if we don’t think to look past the natural.

The Church’s mission is to expand the Kingdom of God, not just by moving into more and more territory, but by coming into a territory and making disciples there. Since the Kingdom of God is wherever the power and authority of God are ruling and reigning, when people come to salvation, they are now a place where that is happening. The more people that have the power and authority of God in them through the Holy Spirit, the larger the Kingdom of God becomes. Make sense?

So if we see the story here from that place, then Rahab’s comments are very revealing. They tell us that the (spiritual) rulers of any territory that we are about to head into are panicking, and terror has fallen upon them. Because they know. They’ve heard of God’s power in His Church. They know that our God is Lord of heaven and earth.

But do we know it? Are we aware that there are territories waiting for the Church to come in and conquer the darkness there? Do we understand who we are, what we have been commanded, and Who is with us in it?

Or are we still looking at the picture in the physical and getting overwhelmed by what we see?

If the Church is going to be strong and courageous, then it has to start with me (and you). I have to understand that when I declare the power of God in my life, telling of the seas He has parted and the mountains He has moved, I’m not just talking to the people in front of me. I’m declaring that my God is Lord of heaven AND earth to the darkness that is over the territory I’m in. And while the people in front of me may roll their eyes and think I’m weird, I know that the enemy begins to panic.

He panics because strong and courageous just entered his territory. And there can only be one reason she’s here.

So tell me, who has heard of your God? Not just the God who hates homosexuality or public schools or Democrats. That, honestly, does not make the enemy tremble, or people want to know Him.

Who has heard of the God who forgave your sin, who freed you from bondage, who healed your sickness, who provided for you when there was nothing left? The God who made a way when there wasn’t a way for you, who brought you through the fire unharmed? Who has heard about the God who changed you, who took you from darkness to light, from death to life?

Who has heard?

worth more

Aren’t two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father’s consent. But even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So don’t be afraid therefore; you are worth more than many sparrows. – Matthew 10:29-31

You are worth more.  

This is the place where Jesus first met me with my worth.

It took time, you know. Time to exchange worthless for worth more. To hand Him my lie and take His truth. But you are worth more became holy ground for me. Words the Holy Spirit whispered to a woman who walked head down for years. 

It slowly became my truth. My identity. But like an onion, the Word is peeled back for new revelation.

My fear of man is connected to the knowledge of my worth.

Jesus did not pull punches. There’s no bait and switch in His teachings. He makes it quite clear how the world is going to feel about us, His followers. 

You are blessed when they insult and persecute you and falsely say every kind of evil against you because of Me.- Matthew 5:11

You will be hated by everyone because of My name. – Matthew 10:22

Then they will hand you over for persecution, and they will kill you. You will be hated by all nations because of My name. – Matthew 24:9-10

If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. – John 15:18

Nothing vague here. While we are commanded to love, we are never told we would be loved back. Isn’t that where we trip? Where we start tenderizing the truth so that it can be easily swallowed? Isn’t this where we try to get people to love our message so that they won’t reject us?

These musings and these holy words breathed out by a holy God have left me with this question – 

Do we fear man more than we fear God? Do I? Does knowing that I am worth more to God, release me to be ok being hated by man? It should, but I’m not sure it does. Are you?

Jesus knew what He was doing by sending His followers out into a broken and hateful world. He knew that when we go out with truth, we would be a minority, not a majority. He knew that most people are not going to accept us or the gospel we have been entrusted to carry. And yet, for the sake of the few, He still sends us, having equipped us to fearlessly go where we are not welcome.

“Look at the birds of the sky: They don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they?” – Matthew 6:26

“But even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So don’t be afraid therefore; you are worth more than many sparrows.”-

Do not worry and do not be afraid. You are worth more.

It is this knowing that is our equipping. The knowing of our true worth, our identity as worth more, that makes us unafraid to wade into the wrath of man to find the ones who are willing to believe the truth we bring.

And all of that is good but the gold, for me, is simple. 

Jesus knew we would be afraid. He knew that we’re all still a bit broken, still seeking approval, still wanting to find a way to make following Him comfortable. He doesn’t despise our broken bits, He speaks to them by telling us how much we mean to our Father.

Jesus told us we are worth more, but then He hung from a cross and showed us that we are worth everything.

That’s gold that I hold close. It makes me feel a little fearless to know my value to my Father, so that my value to mankind doesn’t become a goal. 

And when I am treated as worth less, “you are worth more” steadies my heart and lifts my head. 

Beloved, when we are tempted to believe what the world says about us, when we are walking with our head down – the Word of God is the truth we need. It is the scriptures that get into our soul with the nourishment it needs for healing. 

Stop looking for your worth among the broken. You won’t find it there. You are worth more than this world will ever speak over you. So let the Word of God speak truth to you, and don’t ever stop listening.

Let it make you fearless.

first let me

“A scribe approached Him and said, “Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go!”
Jesus told him, “Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay His head.”

“Lord,” another of His disciples said, “first let me go bury my father.”
But Jesus told him, “Follow Me, and let the dead bury their own dead.” – Matthew 8:19-22

He never said it would be easy. He said we would have a Comforter, but He never promised we would be comfortable.

But the words that laid me bare today are these, spoken by a disciple ~

first. let. me.

First let me exhaust all other options, and then I’ll reach for the hem of Your robe.

First let me figure it all out and then I’ll trust Your plan.

First let me build my life and then I’ll build Your Kingdom.

First let me seek more and bigger and better, and then I’ll seek You.

First let me worry, and then I’ll pray.

First let me hold my offense. Someday I’ll forgive.

First let me seek the approval of others, and then I’ll ask what pleases You.

First let me self-protect and then I’ll trust You with my hardened heart.

First let me enjoy my sin, and then I’ll repent.

First let me find the human love of my life, and then Your love will satisfy me.

First let me pursue my dreams, and then I’ll pursue You.

First let me soothe my own pain and when that stops working, I’ll let You bind up my wounds.

First let me protect my pride, and then I can walk in humility.

First let me.

Most of us would say that we don’t put anything before Jesus.

Most of us would by lying.

In so many ways, in so many places in the Word of God, it is made clear to us…

Jesus never agreed to be second.

what if i could see what i can’t see

He was a man with a promise. She was a slave with a son. His son. But the promise won, and she and her son had to go because Sarah let the hammer fall. “Drive out this slave with her son, for the son of this slave will not be a coheir with my son Isaac!”

And I wonder if Abraham’s heart broke that day. Did he cry? Did he wish there could be some other way? Did it leave a hole in him that nothing would ever fill?

Surely he loved his son the way we love ours.

And then the water was gone and a slave-turned-mother couldn’t keep her son alive. And I wonder if she was just undone with sadness and grief and resentment over a life she didn’t choose.

Maybe choices others made for her broke her, the way they break us.

“So as she sat nearby, she wept loudly”.

She couldn’t watch him die and I can’t blame her one bit, but I want to blame someone. Sarah. Abraham. God? Maybe. Because dying children is the big unfair and someone has to take the blame for a mother’s loud weeping.

But God heard. And in this dark story, light breaks in. When God hears our weeping and speaks to a heart that’s been split wide open, something lifts. Hope comes near again.

But none of that is the point. This is the reason I sat down here–

“Then God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water.”

She saw what she hadn’t seen before – what would change her mourning into dancing and make her weep loud with joy.

She saw hope and goodness and provision and life because He opened her eyes.

And I wonder.

What would I see if God opened my eyes?

What if my thirst has been seen and my well is already there? What if healing and hope and love and provision and comfort are all right there on the other side of the veil, waiting for my eyes to open? What if a well in the desert isn’t hard for God? What if my impossibles aren’t impossible at all?  What if my longings are known and what if my search could be over?

What if He opened my eyes and I saw what’s been there all along.

Genesis 21:8-19

we’re made for this

The story is this: disciples were sent ahead of Jesus, in a boat. Around 3 a.m. they see someone walking on the sea toward them, and think their eyes must be tricking them. Then the Someone speaks that He is Jesus, don’t be afraid.

{When the storm is building, listen closely.  “Have courage. It is I. Do not be afraid.” Because He has promised to never leave you, so you are never, ever, in the storm alone.}

And then Peter speaks (of course, it would be Peter). “If it’s You, command me to come to You on the water”. 

{Where are the ones who want to walk on water? Where are the disciples who want to do the impossible, willing to do something that feels unsafe? Where are we?}

So Jesus said “Come”.

{Come. Lay hands on this one for healing. Come, pray for that one and share the gospel with her in the middle of the grocery store because this is where I’m calling you to step out on the water. Come, step into unknown, go where you hadn’t planned, do what feels risky, give away what you’ve saved, forgive, apologize, bend low and wash feet and turn cheek and love. Let go of what you think you’re controlling and step into what you can’t control. You see, we’re all hearing Him say “Come”. We’re all invited to step out of safe, out of comfortable, out of what makes sense. We’re all beckoned to step onto water that moves under our feet and do impossible things. Are we doing it, though? Are we hearing “Come” and are we lifting our foot over the side of our lives, daring to walk in the power of Jesus?}

Peter did. “And climbing out of the boat, Peter started walking on the water and came toward Jesus.”

{There’s something in me that cheers for Peter in that moment. Something that feels like he’s walking on water for all of us. Being brave, taking the risk, daring to go into what’s unknown, because he wants to be like Jesus.}

And then fear came. Fear always comes. “But when he saw the strength of the wind, he was afraid. And beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me!”

{Fear sinks us every time. Afraid of what someone will think of us. What will they say to me? What if I look foolish, go broke, end up with nothing? What if it’s hard and what if I can’t do it and what if it’s dangerous and what if I get hurt? What if it changes everything and what if I can’t control what happens? What if they don’t love me back? What if I’m wrong? What if it doesn’t work? Fear comes riding in on the strong winds of ‘what if’.}

But Jesus doesn’t let us go under. “Immediately Jesus reached out His hand, caught hold of him, and said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” 

{Fear doesn’t talk to us about Jesus. It doesn’t remind us about faith. Faith says “look up”, while fear compels us to look down and look around. To see the strength of the wind and the opinions and the risk and the utter loss of control that walking on water creates. Fear diminishes faith and raises doubt. Causes us to question what we’ve heard, what we know, what we believe. Shifts us back into a safe religion where we’re calling the shots, doing what looks good, doing what stirs approval in those around us. Doing what doesn’t rock the boat. I hate fear, but sometimes I feel safer with fear than with faith.}

There are hard things to be done. There is risk and brave things waiting for our ‘yes’. The Kingdom of God must keep advancing and it is violently opposed. The winds of opposition are strong but I think we were made for strong winds. I think we’re fully equipped to withstand opposition, to do the brave thing. I believe that risk ceases to be risky when we are walking with Jesus. I believe that He inhabits His people, His Church, and nothing will stop us, no weapon will prevail against us, and defeat is not our destiny. I think we are people with greater faith than fear. I think we’re made to rock boats.

I think we’re made to walk on water. We just have to get out of the boat.

steppingoutoftheboat-754x437#letsgo #letslookatJesus #dontlookdown #wecandohardthings #betheChurch  #walkonwater #belikeJesus

(Matthew 14:25-31)