Tag Archives: Faith

Yeah, but is it bigger than God?

“Don’t make this bigger than Me.”

For the second time in four years I heard God speak those words to me. In 2016 I was diagnosed with cancer, and in December of 2020 I was told I have diabetes. Both times I began to obsess. With the cancer, there wasn’t anything I could do except say yes to the surgery to remove all my “lady bits”. It was uterine cancer, so everything had to go, but what came and tried to stay was all manner of fear and worry, and what-if. Until God reminded me that He is bigger.

Yesterday, I realized that since December 22nd, I’ve been obsessing over Diabetes. On December 23rd, my entire lifestyle changed, meaning I stopped eating what was killing me and began eating what would help me live. I stopped being completely sedentary and began walking every day. My fingers are now pin cushions and my scale has come to expect my appearance first thing every morning. I’ve lost 10 pounds in the month since the diagnosis, but yesterday, it wasn’t enough. I was discouraged because neither weight nor blood sugar levels are going down fast enough. So I started trying to think of ways to get this diabetes thing turned around faster. And that’s when God repeated to me what He had said before –

“Don’t make this bigger than Me.”

It took decades – decades – of abusing my body to get me to this place, and decades are not undone in a month. Maybe not in six months. Could be a year. Could be more. So I need to settle in, put my head down and do the work of being kind to my body. A friend of mine quoted someone (I don’t know who) recently…

“Eating well is an act of worship”

…and it is amazingly effective motivation to put health instead of death into my body.

That’s the short version of my current circumstances. But I keep thinking of His word to me, and I want to impart what is on my heart to you ~

Don’t make your pain bigger than your Comforter.

Don’t make your illness, your diagnosis bigger than your Healer.

Don’t make your overdue bills or your job loss bigger than your Provider.

Don’t make your addiction bigger than your Deliverer.

Don’t make your chaos bigger than your Peace.

Don’t make what’s going on in our nation right now bigger than the One who rules the heavens and the earth.

Whatever you are dealing with today dear one, whatever is sitting with you at the moment, please remember that God is still the biggest power in the room.

Whatever is against you, make it bow to the One who is for you. Whatever lie is trying to convince you, make it bow to the One who is Truth.

He exercised this power in Christ by raising Him from the dead and seating Him at His right hand in the heavens— far above every ruler and authority, power and dominion, and every title given, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And He subjected everything under His feet and appointed Him as head over everything for the church, which is His body, the fullness of the one who fills all things in every way.

Ephesians 1:21-23

There is nothing in this world, nothing in your life, that is not subject to Jesus. His authority is bigger, His power is bigger, His rule and reign are bigger, and beloved, His love is so much bigger than any other love.

Jesus. His name is above every single name that can be named. Every last one.

Stop obsessing. Stop living in fear. Stop letting your heart be troubled. Stop making the storm bigger than God in your own heart and mind. He is and will always be the biggest power in any room.

Jesus, forgive me for letting anything become bigger than You in my mind. This storm is under Your beautiful feet. I will rest in the shadow of Your wing. I will rest in Your power. I will rest in Your goodness, Your faithfulness, and Your sovereignty over the heavens and the earth. I will rest in You, Jesus.

the Church, a coming storm and let’s just close the door

Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.

Hebrews 12:1-2

The witnesses. What are they seeing as they peer through the realms at the Church all these many years after them? The ones who left such a legacy of faith in the face of the impossible. And all who have come since, those who endured (and are enduring even today) persecution, oppression, imprisonment, and death. For what whom? For Jesus and His Gospel. That’s it.

But they are not the only witnesses. The world is watching our nation right now, and they are watching the Church. What are the believers in Iraq and Iran and Turkey and Libya and Pakistan and two fistfuls of other countries who persecute and kill Christians, witnessing as they watch us? What does the underground Church in China see when they look at the aboveground Church in the west?

We are being watched and heard and we should be downright disturbed at the thought. Uncomfortable at the very least.

Do they see faith? Do they see love? Do they see a Church whose eyes are fixed on Jesus?

Or are they witnessing us wade into the political and cultural cesspool of this world, shouting our indignation at what the world is doing and speaking and thinking and being? And have they noticed that we are mostly shouting at one another? Brothers and sisters fighting, drawing blood, over…what? Political opinions? Who we voted for? How much faith does it take to be angry and opinionated and downright mean? How much faith is required to be a Democrat or a Republican? How much love is needed to call someone evil that we’ve never met, had a conversation with, or even seen in person? Mothers and fathers and husbands and wives to someone. People who have their own battles within that we know nothing of. In a culture where the vast majority of our information is based on rumors and opinions, how much precious time are we wasting believing the worst of what we hear?

Are they watching us believe what “reliable news sources” are saying, but struggling to believe what God has said? Do they see us believe that Trump is evil and racist and a dictator / Biden is a pedophile with Alzheimer’s who is nothing more than a puppet – because people on the internet said so, while we walk in crippling fear and anxiety even though God has told us not to fear and to be anxious for nothing? And by the way, has anyone else noticed that we have been judging the hearts – the motives and intentions – of men and women we do not actually know? Have we ever considered that we are stepping on the toes of the Holy One when we dare to assume that we know what is in the hearts of other people?

Do the persecuted see a Church that is with them in the fight of faith for the souls of the lost, or do they just see us fighting for whatever platform we have chosen to fly our flag from? Come on. Someone cough or shift in their seat or get up and leave the room. Or be brave and say ‘amen’. Something to indicate this is hitting someone besides me.

We can do better, beloved, I know we can. We can choose where our gaze is directed. We can choose what we have ears to hear. We can choose to either speak life or speak death. We can choose to love in our thoughts, our words, and our actions. We can choose to believe that God stills works all things for good and for glory and for a perfect purpose. We can choose to tend to the one anothers among us no matter their gender, color, or political opinions. We can choose to live our lives worthy of the Gospel, worthy of the grace and mercy and redemption we have received. Worthy of the One, the only One, deserving of our deepest affections and allegiance.

Some of us feel run over from trying to fight this cultural and political war. But here’s a thought: the cultural/political war is a spiritual war and we have been fully equipped to fight a spiritual war in Christ. We need to stop separating what is happening on the world stage from what is happening in the heavens. Maybe that sounds contradictory to what I’ve said above, but it isn’t.

We haven’t been fighting the wrong war, we’ve just been fighting it the wrong way (hint: think friendly fire, think wrestling against flesh & blood).

When we trust what our eyes and ears are seeing and hearing in the natural and respond accordingly, we are fighting wrong. When we begin to see brothers and sisters through a political lens, we are fighting wrong. When we spend more time on the internet than in the word of God, we are fighting wrong.

And, (pull in your toes cause I’m about to step on ’em) when we choose to take a political side, we are fighting wrong.

When Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua approached him and asked, “Are you for us or for our enemies?” “Neither,” he replied. “I have now come as commander of the Lord’s army.”

Joshua 5:13-14

Beloved, heaven is the side we take, every day all day. And let me just go ahead and state the obvious – heaven is neither Republican nor Democrat. Heaven isn’t rooting for either party. Heaven doesn’t have a platform or a political viewpoint. Heaven has a plan of salvation. Heaven’s agenda is redemption and reconciliation.

Heaven is the dwelling place of the Lord God Almighty, who commands an army beyond anything we can imagine. Heaven is where the Holy God, our Father, sits on the throne of thrones, ruling and reigning and rescuing wretches like you and me from the dominion of darkness. Wretches like Trump and Biden and all the other people we’ve chosen to love or hate.

Heaven is where the risen Christ, our Lord and our Savior, sits at the right hand of the Father, interceding for us. He is not interceding for a political race to go His way, He is praying for you and for me. Praying for His Church in this hour.

I need to wrap this thing up. It’s much longer than a blog post should be, but you know me. I get going and I’ve got a little weight on me so the momentum kind of takes over, know what I’m sayin?

I’m going to share what I believe, based on a number of recent visions God has given me, and words He has shared with me. Nope, it’s not a prophecy. It’s simply what I’m seeing and hearing and believing.

{*whisper voice* – I think He’s speaking to many of you as well, giving visions and dreams and words of knowledge about what’s here and what’s coming. Come out, come out, wherever you are. We need your voice.}

I believe there are dark days ahead, particularly for the Church, and even more particularly for the Western Church. I believe there is a storm, a tsunami of persecution coming our way. But I also believe that it will serve a divine purpose. Not punishment, purpose. I believe it will draw us together like nothing else could, causing us to lean on one another and teaching us to stand together as one. It will strip away what needs to be stripped from us, and there is much that needs to be stripped. I believe all of this is because we are loved by our Father, who refuses to let His Church continue to be absorbed by both self and the world.

I also believe that this darkness that is coming will usher in at least two things – repentance and revival. It will turn our gaze back to where it belongs – fixed on Jesus. It will separate the ones who pick up their cross and those who just hang around the cross. It will reveal lukewarm hearts and force them to choose – cold or hot, what’s it gonna be?

Finally, I believe it is time for the Church to shake off her distractions and get on her face before the throne of her King. It is time to repent and to seek His face and His presence and to desire His glory above all else. It is time to cry out for Him to give us undivided hearts and minds and affections that are for Him alone.

I watched a teaching by Cory Russell recently in which he said that it is time for the Church to go into the secret place and CLOSE THE DOOR.

All I can say to that is Amen and Amen. Let’s close the door on every distraction, every hindrance, every bit of worldly noise, and be with our Father. Oh, I pray we will do this. I pray we will hear His voice calling us to return to Him, to return to the one thing, the better thing. I pray we will begin to burn to close the door and just be with Him.

And finally, this: the pattern of scripture is that persecution causes the people of God to multiply, and the gospel goes forth in great measure.

The suffering of Christ produced salvation. The suffering of the Church produces a harvest for the Kingdom.

Selah.

Weapons of Our Warfare – Pt. 4 – Prayer

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”– Luke 22:31-32

It’s one of my favorites verses on prayer.

He could have prayed against the sifting. He could have prayed all the things we pray when the enemy picks a fight with someone we love.

But He would have been praying “No”, while the Father was saying “Yes”.

What Jesus did pray is so very telling. It reveals what the enemy was after in his scheming and sifting and the arrows he aims.

{Our faith has a target on its back.}

As I said in my last post, the devil isn’t trying to get us to not believe in God, he’s going after our trust in God. Our confidence in His goodness and His faithfulness and all that He claims to be.

Jesus knew what satan was after, so Jesus prayed for what satan was after.

Likewise, the Holy Spirit knows what satan is after, knows what the Father has said yes to, and what He has said no to, and knows what needs to be prayed.

Romans 8:28 ~ “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”

Ephesians 6:18 ~ “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”

Jude 1:20 ~ “But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit…”

Satan wanted Peter’s faith. Jesus used prayer as a weapon against that scheme. Peter still got sifted, but discerning prayer protected what the enemy was really after, and caused that sifting to work for the good of not only Peter, but his fellow believers.

For some of us, our prayers are primarily requests for God to do what we think He should do, or, if we’re honest, what we want Him to do. And while we may follow it with ‘thy will be done’, our minds and our hearts are convinced, or at least hoping, that His will is the same as our will. I know this because I lived it for far too many years. Prayers that are motivated by the wants of our flesh are no kind of weapon.

Jesus knew that part of Peter’s sifting meant that Peter would deny Him. Deny even knowing Him, after everything they had experienced together. If it were me, I would have prayed that God would prevent the sifting, so that I wouldn’t endure the pain of the denial. Those are the prayers I prayed for years. Change him, so that my life will be easier and I won’t cry all the time. Let me get this job so that I can stop worrying about money. Get me out of this situation Lord, it’s so uncomfortable. Make them move so that I don’t have to deal with bad neighbors. Anyone else? No? Ok, just me then.

Our praying is a danger to the enemy when it is motivated by God’s heart, not our own. When it sounds like ‘Father, show him Your love for him‘ instead of ‘change him.’ When it’s our declaration of God’s provision and goodness instead of our fear of not having enough. His purpose vs our comfort. His love for our neighbor instead of their relocation. The plans and purposes of heaven instead of my politics.

This kind of praying doesn’t go unnoticed by heaven. Or by hell.

But I would rather be in the enemy’s crosshairs because I’m wrecking strategies of darkness, than be left alone because I pose no threat.

Be a threat, beloved. Pray fervently. Pray often. Pray His will, not yours.

P.S.– There is a place for praying for our own needs and even our wants. For casting all of our cares upon Him, in being anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. That is not the kind of prayer I am addressing here. We have a good, good Father who inclines His ear to us when we speak to Him, cry out to Him, or just want to pour out our heart to Him. But when it comes to spiritual warfare, to the battle that rages against us, our families, and the Church – we need weaponized prayer. Prayer that calls down the heart and will of God. Prayers that echo heaven.

Genesis 33—Restoration

Jacob was about to see his brother, Esau, for the first time since the “great deception” that cheated Esau out of his birthright and stole his blessing. Jacob was scared and divided up his wives and children to hopefully save some of them if Esau attacked. In Jacob’s mind, he was Esau’s enemy, and for good reason, so he was prepared for the worst.

“But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.” (vs. 4)

Jacob came to his brother in humility. Esau came with mercy and forgiveness. Relationship was restored. And in that beautiful picture, I saw another…

And we, who had sinned against Him and became His enemy in our own mind, came with our humility. He came with His mercy and forgiveness. Relationship was restored.

Esau had clearly forgiven Jacob before they even met that day. But had Jacob refused to humble himself, he may never have experienced that forgiveness. A rebellious, arrogant posture toward Esau might have put Jacob at war with him and clearly, it would have been a war he would lose.

It is strange to me that I see myself in Jacob. Even stranger that I see God in Esau. But then again, it’s just like Him to show up in such an unusual place. He wants to be seen. He continually exposes His heart in His Word so that we can find it.

God does not want to be our enemy, He wants to be our Father. If we come with our humility, He will always meet us with His mercy. He will bring restoration.

the lie behind ‘you are enough’

I’ve written about this topic before, more than once. Just stating upfront that I am aware that this is not the first time I’ve brought it up in our conversations. I didn’t forget and you can stop trying to spell d-e-m-e-n-t-i-a in your head. I don’t have it. But I do have a passion for this particular subject and as long as it is poisoning the Church, I’ll keep talking about it.

For most of my life I believed I was not enough. And by most of my life I mean since I was a little girl lost in a family of dysfunction, feeling invisible and voiceless. Not enough to stop the chaos around me. I grew up and left that home, but ‘not enough’ left with me and it about did me in.

The fear/belief/suspicion that we are not enough is a weapon the enemy is using against the Church quite effectively. It breeds comparison in us. It brings depression and anxiety, striving, and self-hatred. But it is not being used in the way most of us would think.

It is truth he is using, not a lie.

I have yet to find one thing in the Word of God that tells me that I am enough. Instead, He paints picture after picture of just the opposite.

We’ll start with the loaves and the fish. The little boy with a small lunch, among 5,000 hungry people, offered what he had. It was clearly not enough.

The poor widow who put her two very small copper coins in the offering plate. Not enough to help anyone, but it was all she had.

The crippled man at the pool of Bethesda. He didn’t have enough strength to get himself into the pool and get his healing.

The disciples with not enough faith in the storm.

The countless times that the Israelites did not have enough of anything to win their battles.

And the most glaring not enough of them all – our severe lack of enough righteousness to save ourselves.

There’s more, but I think you get my point. We are not enough. It’s the truth, but it’s the lie the enemy puts behind it that makes it a weapon against us.

We should be enough.

Just a little twist of the truth and you have a sharp weapon to use against the psyche of God’s people. Something that will keep them focused on themselves for generations. A should that keeps them chasing what they will never catch.

Can we begin to see it from a different perspective, and turn that weapon around?

What if my enough would keep someone from seeing their need for Jesus? If I’m enough for my husband, why will he go to God to be filled? If I’m enough for my children, why would they learn to depend on God? What if I let go of the need to be enough, because I know the truth?

Has it occurred to us that the enemy’s scheme is to make everything about us? To keep us focused on our smallness, our failures, our weaknesses (or, our strengths, our victories and successes). Either way, it turns us inward. Really, that’s what this “not enough” thing is about, don’t you think? Us. But if we would pick up the Word of God and read it, we would find the truth and the truth would set us free.

We are not enough. God is. That’s the whole point. God is our deliverer, our healer, our all the things that we are not. That’s why we must set our eyes on Him. Set our hearts on Him. Set our faith on Him. And stop trying to be enough so that we are justified in setting all of that on ourselves.

Let’s spare ourselves the self-help books and the memes that show us whispering to ourselves “you are enough”. Let’s refuse to listen to those who, with the best of intentions, keep trying to convince us that we are enough.

Instead, let’s repent. Turn around. Go the other way. The way that glorifies God for being more than enough, for having strength that is perfected in our weaknesses, for being not just everything we need, but everything those around us need.

Let’s repent of giving God glory and then beating ourselves up. Of singing His praises and then silently screaming our self-loathing at ourselves. It’s a grievous thing we are doing when we say He is our all in all, but walk around feeling shame that we can’t be the all in all for others. It is making us sick – physically, emotionally and spiritually sick.

After many years in the Word of God, walking with Him, learning Him, I no longer feel the need to be enough. My God is enough and this is about Him. My family needs Him, not me, to be enough. My friends, my community, the lost around me – they all need Him to be enough.

Christianity is about Christ. We will not be healed until we stop making it about us.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Colossians 3:1-4

John 6; Mark 12; John 5; Mark 4;

this virus and what we know

(Disclaimer: that title is misleading and for that, I apologize. This post is not about what we know about Covid-19. It’s just that I wrote most of this post last night, had a fitful night sleep and have had nowhere near enough coffee this morning, so…it is what it is.)

I can’t pretend to understand this virus thing. How it started, or how it took over the world. It feels like we went from 0 to 100 in about 6 seconds, right? We heard about a flu virus in China and then toilet paper started flying off shelves like snicker bars at fat camp. I panicked, not because of the flu virus but because I was low on tp and there was none to buy and suddenly things got real.

Schools are closing and spring break could turn into spring-see-you-in-the-fall. I know. Far fetched. And yet, they bought.all.the.toilet.paper. Anything can happen. The gloves are off, apparently.

Large gatherings are now prohibited. Events are being canceled. Sports have been canceled. Sports. No spectators for March Madness. I don’t even like basketball but I felt that one. Both the church I attend, and the one I work for have suspended Sunday worship services. I have never seen these things happen before. It feels like we’re way off course and there are no familiar landmarks. No one seems to know how or why or what to do next, except buy toilet paper. All of it. Because we don’t know what’s happening, but having enough toilet paper makes us feel safer.

But, there are some things we do know.

We, the Church, are built for this very thing. We have been discipled by selfless love, a love that teaches us to go unafraid into uncharted places. A love that never leaves us stranded.

We know the Waymaker through this thing and we know that in any crisis, any storm, He is drawing people to Himself. And we can help them get there, because we know the way.

We know what it looks like to put someone else first, to lay down our rights and go low. We are disciples of the King who washed the feet of those who were with Him, so we know what it looks like to serve instead of needing to be served.

We know fear is a liar and Truth is a person and we know which one to follow. We know where our help comes from and that our Father is good and always gives us what we need, and we know that all things, all things, serve Him and every storm will obey Him. So we know not to be afraid.

We know the need for community and unity. He taught us that we are not loners, we are family and when we come together in love, bearing one another up, forgiving offenses and urging one another on toward greater faith, the world sees Jesus.

There’s a lot we don’t know, but we know enough.

The catch? People don’t need to know what we know. They need us to do what we know and to be what we know. To be people of peace in the chaos, people of sacrificial love in an every-man-for-himself season, people unafraid, filled with the Spirit of wisdom, with self-control, patience, and kindness. The people of God, lighting up the dark.

Right now, there is a shortage of more than just toilet paper. This is not the hour for the Church to hoard what the world needs.

genesis 28: the ladder

“And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it!”

That ladder. Connecting heaven with earth. Because sin happened and God no longer walks in the garden with us. That ladder had a lot of meaning, more than Jacob probably understood.

“And He [Jesus] said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.” (John 1:51)

This ladder. Connecting heaven with earth. Connecting sons and daughters with their Father.

Giving access to His throne. To His heart. To Him.

From the garden when the connection with His presence was broken, to the dream of a man on the run, to a tabernacle in the wilderness, to a bloody cross on a hill, God has been telling us that He doesn’t want to be apart from us. Every dream, every detail of that first temple, and every sacrifice from the first one to the final one…every step of pursuit has been our Father’s heart for nearness to His children.

How painful then, to see so many come to Jesus but not to the Father. They receive salvation but live as though still father-less.

He is the way (to your Father). The truth (about your Father). The life (with your Father).

You didn’t just need a way out of hell, you needed a way to your Father. Jesus gives you both.