Tag Archives: family

genesis 13: strife

“Let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, for we are kinsmen.”

Strife: Contention. Struggle. Fight. Discord.

Abraham was unwilling to allow there to be strife, because they were family. But then he goes further. Aaagh. So much we could learn from Abraham.

He was so peace-minded that he allowed Lot to choose what lands he would take first. He wasn’t after the best and biggest piece of the pie. Not interested in whether he would get his fair share. He was after peace.

Side Note: I’m looking for God in this chapter and I found Him when Lot chose his land.

It was God’s plan all along to give the promised land to Abraham and his descendants, and in the moment of Lot’s choice of land, I smiled. Because even when Abraham gives the choice to another, God still made sure that Lot chose in accordance with God’s plan! I just love the Word of God!

We can roll the dice to see where they land, but oh beloved be sure of this: the dice will obey God!

Interestingly, many, many years after he sought peace with Lot, Abraham’s descendant David would write these words:

Family is one of the most contentious arenas on the planet. So much brokenness in families, so much offense and bitterness being held in hearts that should be knit together. Arguing, demanding, refusing to give up their right to have, or their right to be right.

Turning from our bitterness and anger to do good is hard. But I wonder if it could be easier if we became seekers and pursuers of peace. People who cannot abide the presence of strife. People who would rather step back and allow someone else to choose what they would prefer, and be content to take what is left.

That last one is hard for a lot of us. Unless, like Abraham, we trust God, and we value peace in the family above getting what’s ours.

Questions:

  • Have I allowed strife to remain in any of my relationships with family?
  • Am I causing, or adding to the strife by demanding what’s mine, trying to prove I’m right, or launching accusations against others?
  • What would it look like to seek and pursue peace?

genesis 10: origins

“These are the generations of the sons of Noah…”

Just nine words. Words that no doubt most of us just skim past. But you and I are in those words. Generations. Sons of Noah.

Japheth: Often referred to as the Father of Europeans. His descendants were French, German, Celtic, Russian, and Spanish, among others. Some of his sons’ descendants inhabited Iran and Iraq, India and Armenia.

Ham: His descendants inhabited Africa and the Far East. They founded both Babylon and Ethiopia. They lived in Libya, Egypt, and Israel. It is also widely believed that the Asian peoples descended from sons of Ham.

Shem was an ancestor of Persians, Assyrians and the Syrians, and various Arabic peoples.

You and I fall somewhere in there, as descendants of the sons of Noah, a descendant of Adam and Eve.

It’s good to know and remember where you came from.

I was the first person in my immediate family (parents, siblings) to become a Christian. I met a guy in a bar and eventually married him. He came from a Christian family and told me about Jesus. Not a lot, but the basics. Years later I would surrender my life to that Jesus and never look back. But I learned that there were members of my dad’s family (grandmother, grandfather (eventually) uncles, aunts) who were Christians. I can’t help but wonder where it began. I would love to discover who was my point of origin for the gospel in my family.

After I got saved, most of my family members became Christians, one at a time. I’m still believing for those who have not yet surrendered to the Lordship of Christ.

The covenants God made with both Abraham and Noah included their descendants. God’s purposes and His heart are for families, for lineage and legacy. He doesn’t bless one man, He blesses a man and his descendants. He doesn’t just save one man, He saves a man and his entire household.

And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.”

That doesn’t mean that when one person is saved, his whole household is automatically saved. It means that one person getting saved then opens the door for the gospel to his whole family.

In a very roundabout way, I am coming to my point, which is this:

God is about family. Descendants. Legacy. Households. Keep going. Keep praying. Keep believing. Keep walking with Jesus. You are opening doors. You are walking in the blessings of God that are being passed down from one generation to the next.

You could very well be someone’s point of origin for the gospel.

on the other side of parenting and the rhythm of peace

maegan youngCodi littleI love my children. Love being their mom. I just wish I had listened when my own mother kept telling me how quickly the time would fly. I wish I had understood that here, on the other side of mothering, I would want every memory I could get.

It seems our days were made up of hurry up, get up, sit up, stop that, come here, go to your room, don’t jump on that, stop pulling on that, it’s not a toy (boys!). Put that down, put that away, clean that up, you can’t wear that. Or that. Don’t roll your eyes at me, why are you bleeding, stop shooting that thing in the house. You drank what?? Wake up, get up, hurry up or we’ll be late.

Those days seemed endless but they weren’t and one day I found myself on the other side of parenting trying not to wish I could go back. Trying not to wonder how much I missed while I was rushing to get on with the next thing. Wondering why I was ever in a hurry.

I wish I had known that the place I was in such a hurry to get to would make me miss the place I had been.

I’m no longer wishing for the next place. I now know that time goes much faster than we ever thought and that it’s the little things that bring the most joy, that what we end up regretting the most is how much we hurried through it all and how much we missed.

lucy-fridgeThese babies will grow up soon enough. For now, it’s good to sit on the floor and play, rock for as long as they need it, let them get dirty and make a mess and then watch them sleep while I whisper thank You, God. And when they leave my house to go back home, I can look around at the mess and smile, because I have the memory of how it got messy. The bottles of water all over my kitchen floor are from an intense exploration of the inside of my refrigerator. The basket of toys dumped all over the living room floor is because real fun requires silly things like a little container of tic-tacs, a belt, a rag, a tube of diaper cream and a toy telephone. The papers lying everywhere are there because it’s delightful to stand up at the coffee table and sweep everything to the floor.

I’m in no hurry to clean it all up. I savor the mess because I savor the memory of how it got there. It is the rhythm of peace that would have made life easier on the front side of parenting. That peace would have helped me savor more and worry less about what needed to get done.

Before the grandbabies came, the other side of parenting was so bittersweet. I had a hard time closing that chapter of my life. But now, God has given me a new chapter and I want to hang on every word written in it. I am no longer longing for the past because what is here now is so very sweet. (I also realize that raising littles full-time is hard, hard work and I really just don’t want to work that hard again.) I pray for the young moms in my life because I know it’s taking everything you’ve got and then some to do it well. So I pray for strength, for grace, and for unhurried moments to enjoy the wonder of it all.

Being older has, thankfully, slowed me down. Not just physically (I would be no challenge to anything chasing me), but in every way, including my walk with Jesus.

I am finding that a frantic, get it all done pace of life was mostly my offering to Him, not His to me.

In those early days, I wanted to get to the next place with Him. I wanted Him to hurry and fix what was broken, heal what was hurt, so that we could move on to the next thing, the next part of the plan for my life. But Jesus has never been in a rush. His is a rhythm of peace. He knows that the time will go by quick enough, and there is so much to miss by hurrying it along. 

Wisdom is priceless, but often hard-earned.  And wisdom is telling me to slow down, savor the journey, sit at His feet more. Hang on His every word. Enjoy His rhythm of peace and the moments that come and then are gone.

Be in no hurry.

Ellie.Lucy.bathtime

the writing in the dust

Twenty-two years and seven months ago I surrendered my life to Christ. I was an emotional wreck, my marriage was a mess, I had a 3 year old daughter and was 9 months pregnant with my son. I was in crisis and, for the next twenty years or so, I remained in crisis. My marriage went from bad to worse to dead, while at the same time my daughter went spiraling out of control into self-destructive darkness.

In the midst of all of that, I discovered God. He taught me how to fight, and how to run for cover behind Him while the enemy assaulted my family relentlessly. I came to know His faithfulness, His power, and His own relentlessness to protect and defend that which is His. I came to know my all powerful, ever faithful God through a very long time of crisis. And now, my marriage is restored, and both of my kids are living lives sold out for Jesus. The dust has settled, and God stands victorious over the enemy who sought so hard to destroy a family. So for the past two years I have been trying to figure out what this nagging feeling deep inside of me is about. Why do I feel like I am wandering aimlessly around, looking for something I cannot define? This morning I figured it out. Actually, God figured it out and then told me about it.

I don’t know how to do relationship with God without a crisis.

For two years I have blamed this emptiness, this total dissatisfaction inside of me on everything from empty-nest syndrome to menopause, and my latest one…depression. All of those things are true in my life, but they are simply words to describe my behavior. They don’t explain the ache deep inside of me that co-exists with complete numbness. My empty nest isn’t the real reason that I feel more lost than found, or why the scriptures that gave me life all those years now look like just words on a page. This is me, being real. Because I can’t be anything else right now. I don’t have the strength for it.

But at least I know what it is now. I feel as though God just wrote it in the dust on my dining room table (because depressed, menopausal women who live in empty nests don’t dust very often), and He and I just are staring at the truth in that dust. Now what? Do I introduce myself to this omnipotent Being who just pulled my family from the wreckage of hell, as we both stand here in the after-the-war silence? What do I say, when shouting and declaring His promises over my family seems out of place now?

It was the voice of my daughter that God used to write the truth in that dust. We had a conversation this morning…her in Africa, me here in this very quiet house in Illinois. As I told her a little bit of my “empty-nest” woes, she matter of factly said this, in so many words:

“Being a wife and mother is a gift God gave to you, but it is not why He created you. You were made for relationship with Him, so maybe that’s what you need to concentrate on now.”

That’s what I heard my daughter saying to me. But what I saw God writing in the dust was, “You don’t know how to be in relationship with Me outside of a crisis”.

So, here’s the deal. I love God. I love His Word. I know His faithfulness and His power to heal and restore the most broken things. I know Him as a victorious God that puts the enemy to flight, chases after prodigals until they chase Him back, and turns hearts of stone into hearts of flesh. I know Him in the rage, chaos and deafening sounds of battle. I know my place and my purpose in the war.

I’m just unsure of what to do in green pastures, beside quiet waters.

Standing across from Him, staring at the truth, I could think of only one thing…

“My heart says of You, ‘Seek His face!’ Your face, Lord, I will seek.” (Ps. 27:8)