The God Who Searches

It was late and I was tired so I began to mumble quick prayers as I thought I was drifting off to sleep. But there would be no drifting. Scriptures began to pass through my brain, acting as a shot of adrenaline, and I knew God wanted to talk. He’s never tired like me and He doesn’t drift.

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as He was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:8-9)

I searched for a man among them who would repair the wall and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land so that I might not destroy it, but I found no one. (Ezekiel 22:30)

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him. (2 Chronicles 16:9)

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. (Psalm 139:1)

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24)

He had my attention and my thoughts began to do laps around my brain –

He searches for His people

I think You looked for me this year. Because it’s been quite the year, You know, and I don’t know the last time I’ve felt this tired. For at least the first half of the year, I was too tired to pray. Too tired at times to even drag myself into Your presence, into Your Word, preferring to join the lamenting and ash throwing and hand wringing. Fear was so tempting this year, Lord. Hiding from the chaos became hiding from everything, including You, because this year, this war, has been exhausting.

But I think You looked for me and it feels like you snatched me up, held me eye to eye and said it’s enough. Stop hiding, pick up your sword, stay close, don’t give up, I’m here. Remember and stop forgetting that I am good and I know what I’m doing and I love you and I will not forsake you. I made you and I called you to be with Me and “if you have raced with runners and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in a peaceful land, what will you do in the thickets of the Jordan?”

And I weep because You notice my absence. You know my tendencies and You put Your foot down and call me back up where I belong because You love me and my place is with You and this is only the beginning of the hard things so I can’t hide and I can’t just drift. And I missed You, Jesus.

He looks for an intercessor

I believe You found what You were looking for because Your Church has awakened and is yet awakening. This year catapulted us into the breach to stand in the gap for our nation. Forgive us, Lord, that it took this kind of year to get Your people on their knees to intercede, to ask for Your mercy and for Your will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. Forgive us for our absence in the gap, that we left the wall empty of all but a handful of faithful watchmen. But now, Lord…

let Your eyes find Your devoted ones

and strengthen our hearts. Give us the strength to stand, and put the wind of Your Spirit at our backs to move us forward as one people. We want to run without growing weary and walk without tiring out so strengthen our faith, Father. I pray for the devoted who feel unseen, unnoticed. Let them feel Your gaze as it lands on their devotion and fills them with strength to keep going. I pray they will be lifted up as they remember that You have

searched their hearts and You know them.

You know the depths of us and You love us and You look for us and You see us. You know every weary bone, our confusion and our weeping and our hiding and our longing to hear Your voice and know that You are near and that You see and You know. You know our coming and our going and our thoughts before they turn into words. And we have this place in us that yearns to know the depths of You, to know Your coming and going and Your thoughts and to see Your hand in everything.

Keep searching us, Father, revealing our every anxiety and offensive way and the places we’re hiding. Keep piercing our hearts with Your loving gaze so that they will look more like Yours.

He seeks and saves the lost and He leaves the crowd to search for one and He brings back the scattered and binds up the broken and strengthens the sick. He keeps vigil and He sings over us and watches over our way and though He searches, we are never hidden from Him.

And today I found this in my journal.

I was overcome with both gratitude and laughter because I had forgotten writing that at the beginning of the year. But God remembered and instead of allowing me to go through the motion of prayer as I drifted off, He took the time to remind me of this year’s searching and finding.

Have you felt God’s searching this year? Searching for your fellowship, your intercession, your devotion? Searching your heart, to make it more like His? If so, I pray He found what He was searching for and that despite the kind of year it’s been, you’ve been strengthened and encouraged to take the place you’ve been called to occupy, next to Him. If you have sensed His gaze but pulled away, let me say this – I know. I know that it can feel much easier to stay in the shadows than to come into the light of His searching. But I also know that the shadows are lonely and missing Him is the worst kind of missing anyone. So don’t pull away, don’t shrink back. The shadows aren’t hiding you from God, but they may be hiding God from you.

Hidden in Him, never from Him.

Weapons of our Warfare – Let the Streets Resound with Singing (& Some Final Thoughts)

I had to resist the urge to title this one “Worship”, the nomenclature we have given to music in the Church. If I could wrap up the biblical definition of worship in a very short sentence it would be submitted service and obedience to God. While we can certainly include music and singing into our worship, music and singing are not what constitutes worship. But take heart, our worship is a weapon of war because our submitted service and obedience to our King will thwart the enemy’s plans every time.

But the sound of our singing and our music as we praise Him is a different weapon.

“Then he [King Jehoshaphat] consulted with the people and appointed some to sing for the Lord and some to praise the splendor of His holiness. When they went out in front of the armed forces, they kept singing: Give thanks to the Lord, for His faithful love endures forever.

The moment they began their shouts and praises, the Lord set an ambush against the Ammonites, Moabites, and the inhabitants of Mount Seir who came to fight against Judah, and they were defeated.” – 2 Chronicles 20:21-22

“About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the jail were shaken, and immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s chains came loose.” – Acts 16:25-26

“Your singing will be like that on the night of a holy festival, and your heart will rejoice like one who walks to the music of a flute, going up to the mountain of the Lord, to the Rock of Israel. And the Lord will make the splendor of His voice heard and reveal His arm striking in angry wrath and a flame of consuming fire, in driving rain, a torrent, and hailstones. Assyria will be shattered by the voice of the Lord….And every stroke of the appointed staff that the Lord brings down on him will be to the sound of tambourines and lyres; he will fight against him with brandished weapons”. Isaiah 30:29-31

Now the Spirit of the Lord had left Saul, and an evil spirit sent from the Lord began to torment him, so Saul’s servants said to him, “You see that an evil spirit from God is tormenting you. Let our lord command your servants here in your presence to look for someone who knows how to play the lyre. Whenever the evil spirit from God comes on you, that person can play the lyre, and you will feel better.”…Then Saul sent word to Jesse: “Let David remain in my service, for he has found favor with me.” Whenever the spirit from God came on Saul, David would pick up his lyre and play, and Saul would then be relieved, feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him.” 1Samuel 16:14-23

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,  making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil… Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 6:15-20

This year has shown us, in more ways than one, that the days we are living in are evil. The sound of chaos, hatred, and rebellion has filled the streets, and for a moment, it put the Church back on her heels. But now, I hear a new sound in the nation, as God’s people take their song out of the church buildings and into the streets – from parking lot services to huge gatherings of people singing and praising God all across the country. More and more the streets are resounding with the warfare sounds of the saints.

We are at war, whether we like it or believe it. So loose your song, Beloved. Sing praise to your God.


A few final thoughts…

> In Ephesians 6, Paul tells us to put on the whole armor of God, but we are never instructed to take it off. The armor is not temporary clothing, it is a life lived in faithful obedience to Christ. If we take that off, sin is at our door and it will have us.

> Your faith – your dependence on and trust in God – is always the target. Guard it well. Build yourself up in it. Always recall to mind the faithfulness of your Father. He has proven that He can be trusted. Do not let the enemy convince you otherwise.

> The more I walk with Jesus, the clearer something becomes. Spiritual warfare becomes exhausting when my focus is on the enemy. When I’m trying to figure out where he is and what he’s doing, I get overwhelmed. So as I’ve gotten older, I spend much less time trying to get the enemy to move.

Instead, my focus is on moving God.

This is why it is critical for me to have an intimate relationship with my Father, so that I can know what moves Him.

My worship {submitted serving and obedience} moves God. My faith {my trust and dependence on Him} moves Him. My prayer that desires His will over mine, moves Him. My song of praise, even in dark seasons, moves Him.

When I choose love when my flesh would rather hate, it moves God. When I do the work to forgive when walking away would be easier, God is moved. When I choose to live a life that moves God, war is being waged. But God is and will always be my Defender. He is my warrior King and the battle ever belongs to Him.

My final take on the topic of spiritual warfare?

Move God, and the devil will move.

Weapons of Our Warfare – Pt. 5: The Ones Less Taught

We don’t talk about these in spiritual warfare class (is that a thing? Should it be?), but the word of God talks about them, so I will too.

Authority with Humility

“The seventy-two returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!” And He said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven…Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” Luke 10:17-18

Jesus never taught arrogance, even arrogance against Satan. Arrogance will take our eyes and our heart off of the grace of God, and put them on us. The key phrase in the passage above is “the demons are subject to us in your name” . They are subject to the authority of Christ’s name, not our own. It is the authority of Jesus, not us, that demons must obey. That gives us zero reasons to boast. When we wield Christ’s authority with pride, it becomes a weapon against us, not the enemy.

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18

By all means, use the weapon of authority God has given you through Christ. But watch your heart dear one.

Demons know the difference between the authority of Jesus and pride that simply uses His name.

The secret place, where we meet with God, has a very low ceiling and one simply cannot saunter into it. Pride knows no other stance than on its feet. Humility is more comfortable on its knees. Therefore, our pride is best vanquished by our continual time spent with our Father.

Intimacy with God will ensure that our weapon won’t be used against us.

Finally, when I looked at these two verses from a different angle, I saw this…

Don’t waste your rejoicing on demons who did what demons do when confronted with the authority of Jesus. Spend your rejoicing on what God has done. On the last day, a book will be opened in heaven and your name will be found in it. Just sit with that for a while, and imagine it. Feel the breathtaking joy that your name is written in that book, and understand the equally breathtaking sorrow if it were not. What demons did or did not do while you walked the earth will pale, I promise.

Discernment

“From that time on Jesus began to explain to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that He must be killed and on the third day be raised to life. Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”

Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” Matthew 16:21-23

I’m going to boil this down to one statement: What made sense to Peter, was not of God.

Jesus was not saying that Peter was Satan, He was saying that Peter’s thoughts in that moment were not from God, they were from Satan.

Like Peter, we rely all too often on common sense, or what makes sense to us, when what is needed is Holy Spirit discernment. Without it, we will talk people out of something difficult, when their difficulty is God ordained. Without discernment, we will allow others to talk us out of what does not make sense to the human mind but has been assigned to us by God.

Without discernment, our common sense will be a stumbling block.

While scripture lists discernment as a spiritual gift, that does not mean that only those with that gift have discernment. We become more discerning the more we spend time in God’s Word. As we learn to distinguish the voice of God, we get better at recognizing a voice that is speaking from a concern for the things of men, rather than the things of God.

Discernment will uncover strategies that were formed in darkness, and common sense is often one of those strategies. Let us take care not to let the common sense of even those who love us derail what God is calling us to obey.

Submission & Resistance

“Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7

First, we submit to God. hypotassō. Subject yourself to; obey

And then, we resist the devil. anthistēmi. To set oneself against, to withstand, resist, oppose.

Once we have bent our knee to God, we must then set our feet against the enemy. We are not in a boxing ring. We won’t float like a butterfly or sting like a bee, staying light on our feet and ducking and dodging. This is war and we must be unmovable in our stance against evil, and especially its desire to have us.

“If you do what is right, won’t you be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” Genesis 4:7

{BTW: Many of my own bondages were formed because I resisted God and submitted to the enemy.}

I believe our ability to resist sin is connected to our willingness to submit to God, – to bend our knee to His Lordship over us and obey His commands. True submission to God is obedience to God.

If we say we are submitted to God but do not resist and oppose sin, we have nothing from which the devil will be inclined to flee.

If we do not submit ourselves to God, then resistance is futile.

Submission and resistance are not two different weapons. They are two halves of one. The deeper and stronger our relationship with God becomes, the greater our submission to Him and our opposition to sin. Again, a spiritual weapon forged through intimacy with our Father.

Our Thought Lives

“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Cor. 10:3-5

Here is what I know, and I know it by experience…

Our thoughts are dangerous and one thought leads to another and pretty soon we have a head full of thoughts that will bring chaos to our life, doubts to our faith, and feet to our flesh. Because we will speak and act according to how we think.

We all have disobedient thoughts, and some are living out the consequences of letting those thoughts run free, through broken relationships with others and with God.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

Doing this from our own strength makes it woefully impossible unless we’ve had a lobotomy. Then again, I don’t know what lobotomized people think, so even then it may be out of reach.

But we can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us. (Philippians 4:13)

We can take unruly, disobedient thoughts captive and make them obey Jesus. We can choose what we think about, and how long we let wrong thinking take up space in our minds. We can choose to counter an accusatory or critical thought with a thought that is based on grace and love. We can think the best instead of the worst – about ourselves, others, and God. We can force every thought that is lying to us to submit to the truth, assuming we know the truth. We can begin to direct our thoughts to that which is worthy of thinking about.

We can do this. If it were not true, He would not have told us to do it. What we cannot afford to do is let our thought lives go unchecked and unchallenged by truth. Uncontrolled thought lives damage the body of Christ.

Getting the word of God into your mind and heart is where taking thoughts captive begins. If we don’t know what our thoughts are supposed to obey, how will we ever make them obey it? And so it goes back to our relationship with our Father. Knowing Him, knowing His Word, and His ways, will enable us to know when our thought lives need to be made to get in line. Thought lives that line up with truth can resist the enemy’s attempt to sow lies that keep us from walking in the fullness of who we are as children of God.


From all that I’ve written so far, it is clear to me that the majority of spiritual warfare is obedience. Our spirituality will not defeat the schemes of the enemy, but our obedience to God will. How often we are in church, how much we volunteer, our giftings and talents, how much money we tithe…none of it matters without obedience that comes from faith.

Listen, I don’t like the obey word any more than you do. It has made something in me rise up bristling since before I met Jesus. That thing is called rebellion. It’s part of our sin nature. It’s also part of our free will. We choose.

Obedience or rebellion. One is a weapon against the enemy. The other is a partnership with him. So…

Weapons of Our Warfare – Pt. 4 – Prayer

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”– Luke 22:31-32

It’s one of my favorites verses on prayer.

He could have prayed against the sifting. He could have prayed all the things we pray when the enemy picks a fight with someone we love.

But He would have been praying “No”, while the Father was saying “Yes”.

What Jesus did pray is so very telling. It reveals what the enemy was after in his scheming and sifting and the arrows he aims.

{Our faith has a target on its back.}

As I said in my last post, the devil isn’t trying to get us to not believe in God, he’s going after our trust in God. Our confidence in His goodness and His faithfulness and all that He claims to be.

Jesus knew what satan was after, so Jesus prayed for what satan was after.

Likewise, the Holy Spirit knows what satan is after, knows what the Father has said yes to, and what He has said no to, and knows what needs to be prayed.

Romans 8:28 ~ “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”

Ephesians 6:18 ~ “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”

Jude 1:20 ~ “But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit…”

Satan wanted Peter’s faith. Jesus used prayer as a weapon against that scheme. Peter still got sifted, but discerning prayer protected what the enemy was really after, and caused that sifting to work for the good of not only Peter, but his fellow believers.

For some of us, our prayers are primarily requests for God to do what we think He should do, or, if we’re honest, what we want Him to do. And while we may follow it with ‘thy will be done’, our minds and our hearts are convinced, or at least hoping, that His will is the same as our will. I know this because I lived it for far too many years. Prayers that are motivated by the wants of our flesh are no kind of weapon.

Jesus knew that part of Peter’s sifting meant that Peter would deny Him. Deny even knowing Him, after everything they had experienced together. If it were me, I would have prayed that God would prevent the sifting, so that I wouldn’t endure the pain of the denial. Those are the prayers I prayed for years. Change him, so that my life will be easier and I won’t cry all the time. Let me get this job so that I can stop worrying about money. Get me out of this situation Lord, it’s so uncomfortable. Make them move so that I don’t have to deal with bad neighbors. Anyone else? No? Ok, just me then.

Our praying is a danger to the enemy when it is motivated by God’s heart, not our own. When it sounds like ‘Father, show him Your love for him‘ instead of ‘change him.’ When it’s our declaration of God’s provision and goodness instead of our fear of not having enough. His purpose vs our comfort. His love for our neighbor instead of their relocation. The plans and purposes of heaven instead of my politics.

This kind of praying doesn’t go unnoticed by heaven. Or by hell.

But I would rather be in the enemy’s crosshairs because I’m wrecking strategies of darkness, than be left alone because I pose no threat.

Be a threat, beloved. Pray fervently. Pray often. Pray His will, not yours.

P.S.– There is a place for praying for our own needs and even our wants. For casting all of our cares upon Him, in being anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. That is not the kind of prayer I am addressing here. We have a good, good Father who inclines His ear to us when we speak to Him, cry out to Him, or just want to pour out our heart to Him. But when it comes to spiritual warfare, to the battle that rages against us, our families, and the Church – we need weaponized prayer. Prayer that calls down the heart and will of God. Prayers that echo heaven.

me and this pandemic

Just typing the title to this thing is surreal. Pandemic? Did not see that coming. But here it is and all of our normal just went away to we don’t know where. Everything is shaking and everything keeps changing, and this is all just so weird, right? It’s weird. Bizarre. But it’s our life right now so I’m trying to roll with it. Some days I roll better than others.

I’m fortunate to be able to work from home, but it has been an eye-opening experience, to say the least. Here are a few things I’ve noticed:

I should not be allowed to remain in my pajamas all day. It messes with my mental health. Causes me to shuffle my feet and not wash my hair. I’ve finally compromised with myself. Real clothes on top, pajamas on the bottom. Besides helping me feel more human, I can Zoom with confidence. Again, something I never imagined myself saying. Ever. But here we are. Zooming in my underwear and a blouse.

My friend told me she walked for 2 miles today. Yeah, well, I made 647 trips from my office (bedroom) to my refrigerator, so right back at ya, sister. You know how there are certain animals that you can’t give an unlimited supply of food to, because they’ll just eat themselves to death?

Seriously though, I’m in need of an electric fence around my kitchen, so any recommendations for whoever installs those would be much appreciated.

I need structure, apparently. Did not know that about myself. Before the whole world got sick, I would have described myself as a seat of my pants, roll with the changes, whatever, kinda girl. Like, hippie-ish, only fatter. And less smiley.

Turns out, I am nothing of the sort. I’m more like an accountant, without the math skills. I need the ship to be tight and I need sharpened pencils. I need to-do lists and color coded spreadsheets and timely responses to my emails so that I don’t become overwhelmed and spend an inordinate amount of time in therapy and by therapy I mean eating all the food.

I am an introvert. I didn’t just learn that, I’ve known it since someone posted the symptoms on Facebook one day and healed my world. My general dislike for being around people became a legitimate thing. So naturally, I thought to myself “social distancing? lots of alone time? people can’t touch me or stand too close to me? Step aside ma’am, and let the expert through. I can shelter in place all.day.long.”

And now I’m waving at the mailman like he’s my person. Him and the UPS guy. And random people walking by my house.

A pandemic changes you.

But it does not change God.

While something is literally changing the world, He remains the same. Still near. There remains a peace that cannot be explained. A knowing that things are being handled from the throne of heaven, a power far greater than this virus, a plan that has not been thwarted or defeated in any way. A purpose that is from the beginning and to the end.

This is hard, this thing we are all going through. We’re all experiencing some kind of loss and it can become the only thing we see. But this truth still remains:

In the middle of a pandemic, the people of God are still the people of abundant life. Don’t let the devil try to convince you otherwise.

genesis 28: the ladder

“And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it!”

That ladder. Connecting heaven with earth. Because sin happened and God no longer walks in the garden with us. That ladder had a lot of meaning, more than Jacob probably understood.

“And He [Jesus] said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.” (John 1:51)

This ladder. Connecting heaven with earth. Connecting sons and daughters with their Father.

Giving access to His throne. To His heart. To Him.

From the garden when the connection with His presence was broken, to the dream of a man on the run, to a tabernacle in the wilderness, to a bloody cross on a hill, God has been telling us that He doesn’t want to be apart from us. Every dream, every detail of that first temple, and every sacrifice from the first one to the final one…every step of pursuit has been our Father’s heart for nearness to His children.

How painful then, to see so many come to Jesus but not to the Father. They receive salvation but live as though still father-less.

He is the way (to your Father). The truth (about your Father). The life (with your Father).

You didn’t just need a way out of hell, you needed a way to your Father. Jesus gives you both.

genesis 27: already yours

Birthright designated who would assume leadership of the family, and who would get the largest portion of the inheritance. The birthright belonged to the firstborn son.

But the blessing was different. With the blessing, the father could designate whichever child he wanted to receive the bulk of the inheritance, and could give him power and authority so that, in essence, the birthright was nothing more than a title worn by the first son.

In Genesis 25:23, God said this to Rebekah (emphasis mine)-

"And the Lord said to her,
‘Two nations are in your womb,
   and two peoples born of you shall be divided;
one shall be stronger than the other,
   the elder shall serve the younger.

This is why we now read in chapter 27:36- “Esau said, “Is he not rightly named Jacob? For he has cheated me these two times. He took away my birthright, and behold, now he has taken away my blessing.” 

Isn’t it quite possible that we have blamed others for something God Himself orchestrated?

{Perhaps we would be better served to be slower to accuse, slower to assign blame, and much quicker to seek God, the sovereign mover of hearts and assigner of blessings.}

The deception was so thick in this story, and the emotions of Esau were hard to watch. Betrayal, sadness, grief, anger- they were all felt so strongly, and could easily dominate this story for us. But there is something else here that I want to try to pull out.

The scheming and lying of Jacob and Rebecca were to get something for Jacob that God had already said was his. Before he was born, God had determined that Jacob would receive the birthright and blessing of the first-born, even though Esau would be the actual first-born.

The question:

What have I spent so much time and energy trying to get, that God has already said is mine? And I am posing the same question to you.

Love. Acceptance. Identity. Blessings. Security. Hope. So much more. Things we no longer have to try to get, for they are already ours in Christ.

One of the saddest sights, in my opinion, is that of a child who is trying to gain the love and attention of a father.

I wonder if God feels the same way.

Today would be a good day to sit down and consider what you have been chasing, that you have actually already been given.