Tag Archives: identity

Genesis 49—The Struggle

What struck me first in this chapter were the words in verse 2:

“Come together and listen, sons of Jacob; listen to your father Israel.”

He referred to himself with both names – the one he was born with, and the one God gave him.

The name Jacob means supplanter (one who purposely takes over, or takes the place of someone else). However, the literal translation of Jacob’s name at birth was “He grasped the heel”.

“After this, his brother came out grasping Esau’s heel with his hand. So he was named Jacob.”

In essence, Jacob did not let go of Esau until he had supplanted Esau’s position as first born, by gaining both Esau’s birthright, and his blessing.

The name Israel means he struggled with God. And it was after Jacob’s wrestling match with God (Genesis 32) that God changed his name from Jacob to Israel, saying “Your name will no longer be Jacob,” He said. “It will be Israel because you have struggled with God and with men and have prevailed.” He prevailed in his struggle with God by refusing to let go until he had received the blessing he was after.

And so all of this is swirling in my mind and I begin to wonder…

I know who I was before I encountered Jesus, and I know who I am since. It’s been a lot of years in the learning, but I do know who and how God has called me to be. But I still struggle from time to time between who I was and who I am. I bet you have that struggle too.

This chapter in Genesis is about waaay more than that, but this is what caught my eye, and what I think God wanted to speak to me about on this particular day. A gentle reminder that who I was is not who I am. An invitation to see the difference, and marvel at the work of God in my life, and to be thankful, even in the struggle. But there is something else I’m seeing as well –

Jacob took his blessing from man, living up to the meaning of his name. But he received a new name because he held on in the struggle for his blessing from God.

Hold on. Don’t let go of God, no matter what. Don’t settle for the blessings of men. It’s worth the limp you may have by holding on for God’s blessing in your life. And one final thought-

What I can take in this life pales in light of what I can receive from God when I choose to not let go of Him.

drum beats

It began with Believing for Wonderful. Then there was a teaching in the discipleship school. We wrote on a name tag the negative word that describes how we really tend to identify ourselves. My name tag was too small. I wrote Insecure because it was the least revealing and I wasn’t ready for this class of 33 strangers to know that I could have covered my whole body in name tags.

doorwayAnd I hated that this door had been opened because I’ve marched to the rhythm of what is behind it and I don’t know another way to march.

 I want to slam that door but God opens doors that no man can close. 

And now my soul is open and my name tags have been exposed and I can feel the beat of the liar playing my song full of ‘you are’s…’ and ‘you are not’s…’. And I know I get to choose but choosing is hard when you’ve marched this long to one song. Even when you know the song is a lie.Continue reading “drum beats”