Tag Archives: shame

Naked & Ashamed

I was sitting at a table lost in thought, minding my own business, when a woman walked by right as I looked up from my bible. Her body language, the hair she used to obscure her face, the sweater pulled around her, I noticed all of it in a nano second as the Holy Spirit whispered “she is ashamed and afraid of being exposed.” And that began thirty minutes of playing connect the dots until what God wanted me to see began to emerge. So hang with me and I’ll see if I can re-connect them here.

Shame…

  • Genesis 2;25 – “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”
  • Genesis 3:7 – “Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.”

Sin had opened their eyes to their nakedness. They had always been naked, but they had neither the realization of nakedness, nor the shame of it. This was now the condition of their disobedience. Naked and ashamed.

  • Daniel 12:1-2 – “At that time Michael, the great prince who protects your people, will arise. There will be a time of distress such as has not happened from the beginning of nations until then. But at that time your people—everyone whose name is found written in the book—will be delivered. Multitudes who sleep in the dust of the earth will awake: some to everlasting life, others to shame and everlasting contempt.”

Shame will be the condition of every person who is bound for an eternity without God (hell), because the condition of Adam & Eve’s disobedience now follows their children.

  • Romans 10:11 – “If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.”

Shame wants us to hide, not just ourselves, but hide our sin.

So I speak to the Beloved, to the children of God – shame has no part in you. Guilt, ok. Conviction, absolutely. These things will move us toward God, toward repentance.

  • 1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
  • James 5:19: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

Confession is a weapon against the feeling of shame. It isn’t easy by any means. Hard stuff to come out of hiding and let our sin be exposed, but that is where the cleansing comes, where we find healing.

There just isn’t any other way but His way, and everything is so much better His way.

Naked…

  • Zechariah 3:4 – “Now Joshua was dressed in filthy clothes as he stood before the angel. The angel said to those who were standing before him, “Take off his filthy clothes.” Then he said to Joshua, “See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put fine garments on you.”
  • Galatians 3:26-27 – “So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.”
  • Revelation 7:9 – “After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands.”

So to the one who is head down, face covered, trying to disappear in your shame – Jesus covers you. Clothes you with clean garments, robes of His righteousness; in fact, you are clothed with Him.

  • Isaiah 1:18 – “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”

He has not left you naked and ashamed, He has made you covered and forgiven. Walk in the truth, my friend.

believing for wonderful

Different. Wrong. Abnormal. Words that describe how I have felt most of my life.

aloneThe struggle to feel right, or normal. Always, every day, in every circumstance, I felt different, somehow wrong inside. I never fit in anywhere. I didn’t belong. I was just small when someone did things to me they should not have done and told me not to tell and something inside of me shifted sideways and I never again felt what most people want to feel. Normal, right, okay…whatever words you want to use, I never felt any of them. I still don’t, but most people wouldn’t know it. It’s like walking around with a low-grade fever all the time. You’re the only one who knows there’s something wrong.

I never understood it, never knew what it was, I just knew it was there. It was how I lived my life. And it wore me out. But God knew and God cared so He reached out and touched something and it all came rushing out like dirty water. It came rushing out and when it did He named it shame and I knew, just knew, He was right.

And because He is good He had begun preparing me before any of this surfaced. He laid my eyes on Psalm 139:14 and something in me caught its breath as He asked me “when did it stop being true?”. I was still turning it over and over in my hands and in my head days later when the rushing like dirty water came up and out.

“I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” 

…and I knew the words I had laid my eyes on were a sword I was going to have to pick up. Because it cuts through shame and it severs the lie right out of any heart that is willing to believe with a let-go-and-fall-back kind of trust. Because it never stopped being true, not for a moment. Not before, and not after the thing that broke something inside of me. Nothing I did and nothing that was done to me turned Psalm 139:14 into a lie. Nothing.

fearfully. yare’. ‘in a wonderful manner’, or ‘wonderfully’…

wonderfully made. palah. ‘to be distinct, be separated, be distinguished, to be set apart. To be wonderful’.

(And I laugh as I see ‘wonderfully made to be wonderful’, and then I try not to cry as I hear Him whisper…)

“Beloved, you have wonderful all over you.”

(And you should laugh and then try not to cry because He’s talking about you and not just me.)

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

I am a work of God and therefore I am wonderful, and I will say it and say it until it rings true in my heart. Because wielding the sword is not done well unless it is done often. Over and over, until the lie is dead and truth lives in its place.

I will praise Him for what He has made.

I don’t know what you are dealing with or what broke something inside of you. I don’t know if you carry shame or if it is something else that makes you feel somehow wrong inside. I don’t know what lies you are believing. 

   Not good enough      Not pretty enough      Not smart enough  
  Unlovable     It’s all your fault      Not normal    
Unacceptable      Failure    Tainted   Used      Wrong
Bad      Stupid      Broken     Too much      Too little
 
 And it all goes down easy. We take it in and live our lives by it and never break a sweat.  A lie is spoken and it sounds just right to us so we take it and claim it and we let it call the shots.

But the truth is turned over in our hands, peered at from every angle, almost with suspicion.  And when finally we choose to believe that truth, it’s hard and we weep because we want so badly to believe it and it’s probably true for others but not for me, but we must choose. We must, no matter how hard, no matter how suspicious it seems, we must choose to let go and fall back into ‘fearfully and wonderfully‘ made. Because we want to be free.

Our hearts can easily memorize a lie but must work hard to remember truth and this is life in a fallen world.

It takes great effort to live by the truth.

wonderfullymade

Over and over…until you know this full well…

You are a wonderful work of God.

breaking_chains.208145743_std“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” 

Psalm 139:13-16

from disgrace into grace

rebuilding-the-wallFive women sitting in a living room, taking turns reading from Nehemiah. We are studying that book because in the rebuilding of a wall God can speak much about rebuilding lives. And in that second chapter, starting right there in that 17th verse, something speaks to me.

‘Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.”’

Disgrace. (It rhymes with shame.)

Nehemiah saw his broken city with broken walls, and women see their broken lives in much the same way. And in the time it took to inhale that 17th verse something grabbed hold and won’t let go.

The only way out of disgrace is to step into grace.

And I find myself stepping in, in more ways than one. As I sat on that couch in that circle of women, I had no idea that God was searching something out in me. Something that caught my heart by a painful surprise.

Later that night something was said that pulled a trigger and a dam broke open and disgrace spilled out, and I learned that scar tissue won’t hold a wall together because grace is the mortar of God’s rebuilding.

running awayI discovered, as I tried to stop the flow of pain and tears and years of pent-up shame, that the city walls begin to fall into ruin when a little girl is held to a secret as hands go where hands aren’t supposed to go. Shame makes a little girl feel alone and somehow ‘wrong’, and in her attempts to feel ‘right’ again she runs as hard as she can away from her pain, only to discover she has just been running with her pain. Until one day she falls in a heap. Disgraced.

at the cross

But God. He knew where she would fall and He made sure it was at the feet of Grace.

(Because sometimes the only way out of disgrace is to fall into Grace.)

For days now God has been pulling away scar tissue and putting grace in its place. And for once, I understand His timing. Because the women who are studying Nehemiah are the staff at Grace House. And this is where God has me now, about to step into full-time ministry to women with broken walls. To cities in ruin. And I needed to know that God doesn’t rebuild with scar tissue, but with grace.