Blog – Page 31 – Karla Jo Wasion

look

I think it started in the garden. This trickery of the devil that convinces us to “look” here and then over there. I think it started there because I think he knew a thing or two; things he didn’t want us knowing.

The first daughter looked, and what she saw she believed. And what she believed she acted on. And it brought her down, and us with her. And no, she wasn’t alone. The first son was there, nodding and agreeing and taking and falling.

She looked and when she did, she believed she should and could be like God. (Genesis 3:1-6)

This “look” thing he does? It’s designed to hit us in our vitals. Our value. Our identity. Because we look, and we feel cheated. We look and suddenly all that we have, all that we’ve been given pales in the light of what we don’t have.

Looks, money, position, peace, love, talent, home, confidence, knowledge, friends, admiration…really, must I go on? There is always more of something that we don’t have.

We see others through eyes of comparison. For some, it stirs their competitive nature and off they go to do more, be more, have more, know more. For others, it has the opposite effect. Stay home, give up, don’t even try, resign, shrink back.

The devil doesn’t care which one we choose. He knows either one will accomplish what he wants.

But he’s walking a fine line and he knows that too.

Because God also directs our gaze and permissions us to compare.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”(Matthew 6:26 emphasis mine)

What if this could be written on our hearts? What if it could erase what is written there now? What if we saw, believed, and acted on the truth in heaven rather than the lie in the garden?

I heard someone say once that if you attach a price to something, people give it more value than if you give it away for free. It there is any truth in that, then what if we lived according to what we know?

That we all cost the same.

You, me. The one with much and the one with little. We all cost the life of Jesus, and we all received the same amount of grace. We are all loved by our Father and we all have purpose. We are, each and every one of us, seen by Him, known by Him and cherished by Him.

There is nothing we lack. Nothing we missed out on. Nothing is being withheld from us. We will know that when we stop looking around, and choose instead to just look up.

i drank from a garden hose and it doesn’t matter

“One generation will commend Your works to another…”

I am part of the generation who grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. Free love that was never really free. An anti-war generation that rallied for peace while fighting an internal war by escaping down psychedelic rabbit holes.

There is so much that my generation can pass on, and we certainly do try, don’t we? We love talking about how simple life was back then. How different, how much better things were. But this morning I was struck by Psalm 145:4, and I realized that we spend far too much time commending memories that are evidently being remembered through rose colored glasses. Because frankly, many of us who grew up in that era were just messed up.

So here’s the deal. I don’t care if you know that I drank freely from the water hose, and played outside until the streetlights came on. It won’t help you to know that we slept in painted cribs, rode around without seat belts or airbags, or that kids failed entire grades in school because they deserved to fail. I don’t care if you ever know what life was like “back in my day”.

Here is what I want you to know…

God…relentlessly pursued my heart down every rabbit hole, every dark corridor, through every bad choice. He never gave up. He chased me until I was finally broken enough to stop running. Because I am not just a face in the crowd to Him. I am not just an unseen part of “so loved the world”. And neither are you. You are not only loved, you are wanted by the Father who created you. He is the relentless pursuer of your running heart.

God…healed me on the inside. In the unseen places where I was incurably broken, He healed me. I was convinced I had little or no worth. He healed me. I was hurt and I was angry. He healed me. I had been used and discarded. He healed me. Because that’s who He is. Healer. He desires to heal the deep places in you, to convince your heart that you are worth much. Are you going here and there and everywhere trying to find what can put you back together? Are you convinced that nothing will be able to fix what is broken? I commend to you…God. You are not so broken that He cannot make you whole. It’s not too late, you haven’t gone too far, and there is no such thing as too damaged. For man, yes, but not for God. Not for your Healer.

God…gave me purpose. After years of wandering, looking for something I couldn’t define, I was left convinced that there was very little real purpose to my life. I would live and die and neither would have any impact on the earth. But as all of that began to fall away under the love of Jesus, it revealed the truth. I was created on purpose, with purpose, by my Father. My life matters, and so does yours. In knitting you together in your mother’s womb, He wove in the uniqueness that is you, the gift of you. You have giftings, talents that you may or may not be aware exist, but they are there on purpose. And the work of God, the advancement of His Kingdom, the release of captives, the healing of broken people, all of it needs you and your gifting. He has people for you to meet, places for you to go, things for you to do. You, and your life matter. You are you on purpose, with purpose.

God…gave me rest. Removing the shame and guilt that kept me running, He taught me what stillness looks like inside and out. He gave me rest from trying to earn love and worth, from Him or anyone else. Earning is a wearying business is it not? Two steps forward, nine steps back now start all over and there’s no such thing as a truly clean slate. We may have that “so what?” look on the outside, but we’re black and blue on the inside, damage done by our own fists of self-loathing and there aren’t enough Hail Marys to be said. But there is God, and His invitation is not “try harder”, but “come to Me and I will give you rest”. Rest from earning what cannot be earned, but is freely given by Him. He invites us to let our bruises heal, unclench our fists, stop doing penance for what only His blood can take away. And speaking of blood that doesn’t just wipe the slate clean, it destroys the slate all together…speaking of that blood…

God…saved me. I could comprehend that God is good, even loving. But the heart-shocking truth is that He is so good and so loving He sent the innocent to pay for my guilt, giving His Son over to death so that death could be conquered for me. So that the slate that held my record of sins would be forever destroyed, my filthy clothes would be forever removed, so that my forever would be forever changed. God pursued me straight to Golgotha, and there I discovered just how much I was worth to my Father. You are worth no less.

To the generation coming behind me, I commend to you the works of God. Powerful, majestic, fearsome. Kind, loving, merciful. Faithful and unfailing. Pursuer of hearts, Healer of broken, rest for weary. Savior.

I drank from a garden hose.

He loves you so much He died.

Which is worth commending?

the right question

“What do people want?”

It’s a strategy question. Churches, ministries, businesses and lives have been designed around that one question. And that question hides a lot of questions we don’t ask.

What will make us popular? What will make us look good? What will make us bigger? What will make people like us? What will make us the most successful? What will make people approve of us?

People pleasing is rarely about other people, it’s about our obsession with us. We need to change our obsession, so that we change our question.

“What does God want?”

With that question alone burning in our hearts, we can change the world.

The gospel would be preached. Disciples would be made. We would freely give what we have been given – money and time, grace and love. Prayer would be our first strategy. Obedience would be our second.

Whether or not an altar call would offend people would be dead last.

We would rely on God and expect little from people – not the other way around. We would bend to help the fallen rather than bending over backwards to please the upright.

We would rather be pierced by truth than tickled by a lie. And we would want the same for others. The fickleness of the hearts of men would take a backseat to the unchanging heart of God. His strategy would become ours. We would decrease and He would increase. We would put others before ourselves, for the right reason.

Because we asked the right question.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

wanted

He calls out. He has always called out. He is the initiator, the pursuer, the One doing the calling, the beckoning, the inviting. Always the inviting.

Return to Me

“You have gone off, in search of other loves. You have wandered from Me, preferring instead things that cannot love you, cannot save you, cannot be Me for you. But I have not forgotten you. Even now, I call for your return. Though you have strayed, though you have turned to idols for comfort, I call for your return. Return to Me, and I will return to you. As the father watches for the prodigal, I watch for you, ready to run to meet you as you come up from the far country. Return to Me, for I have redeemed you. You are Mine. You are loved.”

Come to Me

“Aren’t you tired of striving? Haven’t you wearied yet of your attempts to ‘get it right’? You keep Me at arm’s length because you believe you aren’t yet good enough to come any closer. Who has laid such a burden on you? Who has convinced you that there is a measuring rod called “good enough”? Who has set the yoke upon your neck that forces you to labor for My love? It was not Me. I long to give you rest from all of that. Come to Me, all the way to Me. Don’t stop short. I have no intention of making you crawl or beg. My heart is for you to come with boldness, confident in My love for you. I bled enough blood, there has been enough atonement made for you, enough death was died for you to live. Don’t you see? Enough is done. Just come to Me.”

Seek Me

“Look for Me. I won’t hide from you. I will always let you find Me. You have looked for life among the dead. Seek Me and live. You have looked for what is good in a world that has fallen under the grip of sin, for love in all the wrong places, for compassion among those who are empty, for significance in a shallow world. Seek Me. Your search will not be in vain. In Me you will find everything your heart has been longing to find. Look for Me. I am not hiding. I want to be found by you.”

It has always been this way. He calls to us, always, as in that first, “Where are you?”. With loving kindness He draws us to Himself. With patience, He watches for our return from the far country of our own ways. With gentleness, He beckons us to bend our neck and let the yoke of slavery and striving fall, so that we can rest. And when we seek, and even when we don’t, we find Him. Because love was His idea and we are the objects of love. We are wanted. Always. No matter what rags we are wearing or the stench we carry with us. He wants us. Even if we march to the beat of a drum no one else can hear, He wants us. In our poverty, we are wanted. In our searchings and cravings, broken or whole, we are wanted by the God who created us.

“I loved you first.

First, I loved you.

Nothing has changed.”

Isaiah 44:22; Luke 15:17-20; Matthew 11:28-30; Galatians 5:1; Isaiah 45:19; Isaiah 65:1; Amos 5:4; Jeremiah 29:13; 1John 4:19, and many more.

motivation

Jesus. What would you say about Him? How would you describe the way He lived while He made His dwelling among men? What was He after? Why did He do what He did? Love would be a very good, and correct, answer…but not what I’m going for today.

Because I had an “aha” moment.

“And they sang a new song: “You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because You were slain, and with Your blood You purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation.” (Revelation 5:9)

So I started thinking. Jesus didn’t die for me. He died because of me. I was purchased for God. His Father. Jesus died because God so loved the world. Jesus died for God, His Father. He lived for His Father, and He died for His Father.

And then I thought some more.

“Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12)

The Father that motivated everything Jesus said and did is also my Father. With me so far? Good. Because right about here I started hearing questions, and things took a hard turn.

Is God the motivation of my life, or am I?

(By the way, this is the part where drawing near to God’s heart begins to burn. Read The Heart That I Want to know what I mean by that.)

When I am offended, is it because God wasn’t glorified, or because I didn’t get a “me” fix? Is it because God wanted that position in the Church? Because God wanted to lead worship that day? Did God need the attention, validation or affirmation that I missed out on? Did God want that invitation that I didn’t get? Am I offended because God didn’t get something that I desperately needed?

I will be offended on a regular basis if I am my biggest motivation.

Do I obey God at all costs, or only when it doesn’t cost much at all? Do I claim “legalism” at true sacrificial living and giving, while I pat myself on the back for not drinking enough to be considered drunk? Is my obedience based on what will make me acceptable to others, or on what truly pleases God?

When my motivation is me, mine is a cheap obedience.

Do I enter into worship because I need to feel that “something” that worship provides? Or do I enter in because my Father is God, and God is to be worshiped? Even if I don’t feel like it. Even if I don’t like the songs being done or the way they’re being done. Even if I’m lonely. Even if I’m hurting. Even if I feel empty, scared, worthless, neglected, dry or just plain tired. God is still worthy of worship. Because worship is not about me. And it’s not about you, so I can just forget about whether or not you’re watching or listening and think I’m spiritual enough or gifted enough or anything enough.

If my worship is based on what I like, how I feel or what I need, then the one I am worshiping is me.

Why do I serve? Why do I love? Why do I forgive? Why do I give?

“The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1Samuel 16:7

Motivation. It’s huge. Jesus had only one. His Father.

Can I really be…do I really want to be…that Christlike?

Something is burning.

if you want it…

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

You want to be near My heart? Go where you find injustice. My heart will be there, waiting for you. loose the chains of injustice

Are you looking for Me? Go to the oppressed. You’ll find Me there. untie the cords of the yoke…set the oppressed free

You want My heart? Go to the naked and the poor. I am with them. give to the poor, clothe the naked

Find someone who is hungry. I’ll be there. share your food with the hungry

Find the sick, the tormented, the lost. My heart will be there with them. Heal the sick, drive out demons…preach the good news

Look for those who aren’t following Me. Go. I’ll be there. go and make disciples of all nations

I am drawn to the broken, the hurting, the weak, and to the lost. I came for the sick, the dying, the desperate. I was found among the sinners and the despised, sent to the brokenhearted and the captives, to those held prisoner by darkness. My heart is with those who mourn and those who live in despair. You want My heart?

Come and get it.

Jeremiah 29:12; Isaiah 58; Matthew 10:8; Mark 16:15; Matthew 28:19-20; Proverbs 21:13, and many more.

hey buddy…got a quarter?

“Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” Acts 3:6

I would have dug around for a quarter.

Ever been in one of those awkward prayer circles? You know the scene. At church on Sunday, Betty tells Susie of a certain (or very vague) struggle she’s having. Susie gets excited and says “wait here, I’ll be right back”, and indeed she does come “right back”, with 5 other women in tow, and you’re one of them.

Sometimes I stand in those circles, and it’s like me and God are just staring at each other, each waiting for the other one to say something. I’m waiting, straining to hear Him speak in case He’s whispering. Nothing. I start to get a little nervous because it’s a circle. That means the unwritten rule of “everyone has to pray when it’s their turn” goes into effect. If you try to skip your turn, an incredibly awkward silence will ensue and your neck will get really hot and your hands become all clammy. So you start begging God for something, anything that would be even a little sincere, but He just stares at you. And now, the person next to you is taking her turn and you’re literally screaming in your head, promising God all sorts of things if He will “JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING TO PRAY!”. And then it’s your turn, so you kick it into auto pilot and start praying “the right things to pray”, using your finely tuned grasp of the Christianese language. Finally it’s over and you can wipe your sweaty hands on your pants and go home and brood about God’s silence when you so desperately needed Him to give you something to pray so that you wouldn’t have to fake it. Again.

Ok, maybe that’s just me. Maybe this is why I am so desperate for the heart of God. Because I’m tired of giving people what I don’t have.

So this morning I opened my bible, put on some worship music, and came with great expectation of…something. I didn’t know what it would be, but I wasn’t going to leave until my heart tasted something.

Breakfast was served…

“That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched —this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.” 1John 1:1-3

“Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” Acts 3:6

“When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truthwho goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.” John 15:26-27

They proclaimed what they had seen and heard from Him, they gave what they had been given by Him, and they testified because they had been with Him.

Being with Him, hearing Him, receiving from Him. It all spells intimacy, and when we have intimacy with Jesus, we have something to proclaim, something to give. It’s hard to pray in faith for someone else when my own spiritual life is bone dry. And it’s hard to proclaim, with believability, the power of God to someone else when your own life lacks that power. Try testifying about the peace of Christ when you are full of anxiety and fear.

I may have known His peace yesterday. Perhaps I prayed with incredible faith last year. Maybe I’ve heard His voice many, many times, just not lately. But it’s no longer then…it’s now. Intimacy with God is about today, not yesterday. Did I come to the well to drink deep of Him today? Did I gather His manna today? Or am I trying to stay alive with yesterday’s bread and water? (And by the way…is that all I want? To stay alive?)

I went to the well this morning, and He met me there with this –

“I want to meet with you every single day, as long as it’s called today. Because I love you, and I want you to know it. Today, not yesterday.

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