Tag Archives: Christianity

me and this pandemic

Just typing the title to this thing is surreal. Pandemic? Did not see that coming. But here it is and all of our normal just went away to we don’t know where. Everything is shaking and everything keeps changing, and this is all just so weird, right? It’s weird. Bizarre. But it’s our life right now so I’m trying to roll with it. Some days I roll better than others.

I’m fortunate to be able to work from home, but it has been an eye-opening experience, to say the least. Here are a few things I’ve noticed:

I should not be allowed to remain in my pajamas all day. It messes with my mental health. Causes me to shuffle my feet and not wash my hair. I’ve finally compromised with myself. Real clothes on top, pajamas on the bottom. Besides helping me feel more human, I can Zoom with confidence. Again, something I never imagined myself saying. Ever. But here we are. Zooming in my underwear and a blouse.

My friend told me she walked for 2 miles today. Yeah, well, I made 647 trips from my office (bedroom) to my refrigerator, so right back at ya, sister. You know how there are certain animals that you can’t give an unlimited supply of food to, because they’ll just eat themselves to death?

Seriously though, I’m in need of an electric fence around my kitchen, so any recommendations for whoever installs those would be much appreciated.

I need structure, apparently. Did not know that about myself. Before the whole world got sick, I would have described myself as a seat of my pants, roll with the changes, whatever, kinda girl. Like, hippie-ish, only fatter. And less smiley.

Turns out, I am nothing of the sort. I’m more like an accountant, without the math skills. I need the ship to be tight and I need sharpened pencils. I need to-do lists and color coded spreadsheets and timely responses to my emails so that I don’t become overwhelmed and spend an inordinate amount of time in therapy and by therapy I mean eating all the food.

I am an introvert. I didn’t just learn that, I’ve known it since someone posted the symptoms on Facebook one day and healed my world. My general dislike for being around people became a legitimate thing. So naturally, I thought to myself “social distancing? lots of alone time? people can’t touch me or stand too close to me? Step aside ma’am, and let the expert through. I can shelter in place all.day.long.”

And now I’m waving at the mailman like he’s my person. Him and the UPS guy. And random people walking by my house.

A pandemic changes you.

But it does not change God.

While something is literally changing the world, He remains the same. Still near. There remains a peace that cannot be explained. A knowing that things are being handled from the throne of heaven, a power far greater than this virus, a plan that has not been thwarted or defeated in any way. A purpose that is from the beginning and to the end.

This is hard, this thing we are all going through. We’re all experiencing some kind of loss and it can become the only thing we see. But this truth still remains:

In the middle of a pandemic, the people of God are still the people of abundant life. Don’t let the devil try to convince you otherwise.

this virus and what we know

(Disclaimer: that title is misleading and for that, I apologize. This post is not about what we know about Covid-19. It’s just that I wrote most of this post last night, had a fitful night sleep and have had nowhere near enough coffee this morning, so…it is what it is.)

I can’t pretend to understand this virus thing. How it started, or how it took over the world. It feels like we went from 0 to 100 in about 6 seconds, right? We heard about a flu virus in China and then toilet paper started flying off shelves like snicker bars at fat camp. I panicked, not because of the flu virus but because I was low on tp and there was none to buy and suddenly things got real.

Schools are closing and spring break could turn into spring-see-you-in-the-fall. I know. Far fetched. And yet, they bought.all.the.toilet.paper. Anything can happen. The gloves are off, apparently.

Large gatherings are now prohibited. Events are being canceled. Sports have been canceled. Sports. No spectators for March Madness. I don’t even like basketball but I felt that one. Both the church I attend, and the one I work for have suspended Sunday worship services. I have never seen these things happen before. It feels like we’re way off course and there are no familiar landmarks. No one seems to know how or why or what to do next, except buy toilet paper. All of it. Because we don’t know what’s happening, but having enough toilet paper makes us feel safer.

But, there are some things we do know.

We, the Church, are built for this very thing. We have been discipled by selfless love, a love that teaches us to go unafraid into uncharted places. A love that never leaves us stranded.

We know the Waymaker through this thing and we know that in any crisis, any storm, He is drawing people to Himself. And we can help them get there, because we know the way.

We know what it looks like to put someone else first, to lay down our rights and go low. We are disciples of the King who washed the feet of those who were with Him, so we know what it looks like to serve instead of needing to be served.

We know fear is a liar and Truth is a person and we know which one to follow. We know where our help comes from and that our Father is good and always gives us what we need, and we know that all things, all things, serve Him and every storm will obey Him. So we know not to be afraid.

We know the need for community and unity. He taught us that we are not loners, we are family and when we come together in love, bearing one another up, forgiving offenses and urging one another on toward greater faith, the world sees Jesus.

There’s a lot we don’t know, but we know enough.

The catch? People don’t need to know what we know. They need us to do what we know and to be what we know. To be people of peace in the chaos, people of sacrificial love in an every-man-for-himself season, people unafraid, filled with the Spirit of wisdom, with self-control, patience, and kindness. The people of God, lighting up the dark.

Right now, there is a shortage of more than just toilet paper. This is not the hour for the Church to hoard what the world needs.

genesis 28: the ladder

“And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it!”

That ladder. Connecting heaven with earth. Because sin happened and God no longer walks in the garden with us. That ladder had a lot of meaning, more than Jacob probably understood.

“And He [Jesus] said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.” (John 1:51)

This ladder. Connecting heaven with earth. Connecting sons and daughters with their Father.

Giving access to His throne. To His heart. To Him.

From the garden when the connection with His presence was broken, to the dream of a man on the run, to a tabernacle in the wilderness, to a bloody cross on a hill, God has been telling us that He doesn’t want to be apart from us. Every dream, every detail of that first temple, and every sacrifice from the first one to the final one…every step of pursuit has been our Father’s heart for nearness to His children.

How painful then, to see so many come to Jesus but not to the Father. They receive salvation but live as though still father-less.

He is the way (to your Father). The truth (about your Father). The life (with your Father).

You didn’t just need a way out of hell, you needed a way to your Father. Jesus gives you both.

genesis 27: already yours

Birthright designated who would assume leadership of the family, and who would get the largest portion of the inheritance. The birthright belonged to the firstborn son.

But the blessing was different. With the blessing, the father could designate whichever child he wanted to receive the bulk of the inheritance, and could give him power and authority so that, in essence, the birthright was nothing more than a title worn by the first son.

In Genesis 25:23, God said this to Rebekah (emphasis mine)-

"And the Lord said to her,
‘Two nations are in your womb,
   and two peoples born of you shall be divided;
one shall be stronger than the other,
   the elder shall serve the younger.’

This is why we now read in chapter 27:36- “Esau said, “Is he not rightly named Jacob? For he has cheated me these two times. He took away my birthright, and behold, now he has taken away my blessing.” 

Isn’t it quite possible that we have blamed others for something God Himself orchestrated?

{Perhaps we would be better served to be slower to accuse, slower to assign blame, and much quicker to seek God, the sovereign mover of hearts and assigner of blessings.}

The deception was so thick in this story, and the emotions of Esau were hard to watch. Betrayal, sadness, grief, anger- they were all felt so strongly, and could easily dominate this story for us. But there is something else here that I want to try to pull out.

The scheming and lying of Jacob and Rebecca were to get something for Jacob that God had already said was his. Before he was born, God had determined that Jacob would receive the birthright and blessing of the first-born, even though Esau would be the actual first-born.

The question:

What have I spent so much time and energy trying to get, that God has already said is mine? And I am posing the same question to you.

Love. Acceptance. Identity. Blessings. Security. Hope. So much more. Things we no longer have to try to get, for they are already ours in Christ.

One of the saddest sights, in my opinion, is that of a child who is trying to gain the love and attention of a father.

I wonder if God feels the same way.

Today would be a good day to sit down and consider what you have been chasing, that you have actually already been given.

genesis 26: famine

“Now there was a famine in the land, besides the former famine that was in the days of Abraham. And Isaac went to Gerar to Abimelech king of the Philistines.”

“And the Lord appeared to him and said, “Do not go down to Egypt; dwell in the land of which I shall tell you. Sojourn in this land, and I will be with you and will bless you, for to you and to your offspring I will give all these lands, and I will establish the oath that I swore to Abraham your father.”

Going to Egypt made the most sense. Just like it made sense to Abraham, and it would later make sense to Jacob in their own famines.

But God defies the formulas we think make the most sense.

Sometimes, despite what feels logical, He tells us to stay. Not just stay, but dwell. Live life in the famine. It doesn’t matter what others have done or will do. It doesn’t matter if leaving makes more sense than staying. If we hear Him say stay, we have to ignore the urge to do what makes sense, to do what is comfortable or easier or makes us look less crazy.

But if we’re searching for God’s heart, we’ll find it here: “I will be with you and will bless you…”.

Famine, difficulty, pain, grief – this earth has all of that and more, and we do not always get to run from it. Sometimes, we just have to stay there and live with God. Because He has promised never to leave us.

And then there’s this little nugget: “And Isaac sowed in that land and reaped in the same year a hundredfold.” vs. 12

Are you in a land of famine right now? It could be any kind of famine –

Financial, relationship, employment, a famine of emotional support, a famine of purpose, health, joy, peace. Really, we have plenty of famines in our land, and we have nowhere to run from them.

So we may as well sow. Generously and often. With gladness, sow your seeds in the famine, because God is with you in this thing and there will be a reaping.

genesis 25: story

I put myself into the first part of this chapter, just for a few minutes, to stand at a funeral. I felt the sadness over Abraham’s death, and so tender to see him buried with Sarah. Standing at a distance watching Isaac & Ishmael bury their father was so touching and felt like such a private moment that I was privileged to watch. Abraham is such a large figure to both the Jewish people and to Christians, so seeing this larger-than-life man breathe his last felt sobering.

{a reminder that our earthly lives are but a breath, but our stories echo on for generations to come – a reminder to mind your story more than your years}

Birthright. Ancient word we don’t use in our world these days. But it meant something then and it means something now.

Because Esau had a birthright and the Jesus people have a birthright and did you know a birthright can be given up? Sold for something temporary. Thought little of when our hearts are bent toward earthly filling. Devalued when there is a carnal itch that is so easily scratched.

There is a LOT to this birthright thing, but I am neither knowledgable enough, nor inclined enough to dive into that topic too deeply. Maybe someday, but not today. Today, it is enough for me to ponder this small revelation –

{esau is a warning for me when material blessings that I want, become elevated above the spiritual blessings I have been given}

I want to mind my story more than my years, and I want my story to be that I knew the value of belonging to my Father, and that I preferred hunger over being filled with what the world could offer. A story that tells of what was lost and what was found and a longing for Jesus that could not be quenched by any earth-bound thing.

genesis 24: what matters

As he neared the end of his life, there were two things that Abraham knew for sure:  First, Isaac could not go back. The faithfulness of God would move Isaac forward to the promised land, not back to a former homeland.

{The faithfulness of God will move you forward, toward promised land, not back to a land He called you out of to follow Him.}

The other thing Abraham knew was that Isaac should marry a woman from Abraham’s kin, not from the Caananites. Abraham knew that God’s people entering into such a covenant relationship with a pagan people would not be a good idea.  

Who the people of God enter into covenant with is still important to Him. It remains a bad idea for a Christian to marry someone who does not follow Jesus.

So Abraham’s servant is sent to find a wife for Isaac from among God’s people. Naturally, the servant prayed for God’s help to find the right one.

{Is that what comes naturally to God’s people today? The servant believed that God knew who Isaac should marry, and prayed He would reveal her. I wonder if that feels archaic to us. I wonder if we have forgotten that God’s wisdom is far more necessary than our physical chemistry or attraction to someone. I wonder if we are teaching the generation coming up that marriage is a covenant, not a checkbox that needs to be marked by a certain age, and that God is the best one to reveal who we should marry.}

And then we see this-

“Before I had finished praying silently, there was Rebekah coming…”

Before he even finished praying, God’s answer was seen coming. Contrast that with this-

“…for from the first day that you purposed to understand and to humble yourself before your God, your prayers were heard. I have come because of your prayers. But the prince of the kingdom of Persia opposed me for 21 days.” – Daniel 10:12-13

Daniel had gone into mourning for 3 weeks, seeking God. The statement above was made by the angel who had been sent in answer to Daniel’s prayer. 

In the case of Abraham’s servant, the answer to prayer appeared before the prayer was even finished. With Daniel, he prayed for 3 weeks before he saw any kind of movement, because the answer had been contested. But it had been sent from the first day Daniel began to pray! 

My takeaways from this chapter:

  • Direction matters. With God, it is always forward movement. Don’t believe the lie that the promises of God are behind you.
  • Marriage covenant matters. Do not assume that it isn’t important to God who you marry, or who your children marry. Don’t leave such an important decision up to feelings. Seek God.
  • Prayer matters. That’s why it is so heavily contested. Don’t give up because it’s taking too long. Keep praying!