Blog – Page 28 – Karla Jo Wasion

what i’m learning at the fire hydrant

I had no idea what it would really be like, this year devoted to going deeper with God. They tried to warn me. They told me the discipleship training school would be like trying to drink from a gushing fire hydrant. But, I’ve never tried to take a drink like that, so it was like trying to explain childbirth to a woman pregnant with her first child. All it really ends up doing is scaring the stuffing out of her, because childbirth has to be experienced, not explained. This can also be applied to drinking from a fire hydrant.

But now I know. The gushing water is overwhelming, and you miss a lot of what is pouring out. But what you are able to drink in is glorious. What you drink in brings the revelation that you were dying of thirst. What you drink in makes you abandon trying to catch water in your hands and compels you to go in face first. Yeah…it’s that good.

I love words, but even I don’t have enough of them to try to explain all that God has been teaching me and doing in me. On top of the training school, I just spent a week receiving training in the core values of my church; teachings I would have paid money to receive at a conference. Yeah…they were that good.

So, I will try to pour out drops of what is being poured into me. Drops, in the form of direct quotes from some of the teachings, along with my own quotes, written in flurries into my journal during the sessions.

“If we lower the bar so that we can live up to it, we miss the whole point, which is total dependence on God. God never lowers the bar.”

Instead of “what do I do?”…it needs to be “what do I believe?”. We behave what we believe.

“The capacity to perform the things of the Kingdom is directly tied to the depth of our intimacy with Jesus, not with the breadth of our knowledge.”

“We will never get to the end of ‘in Christ’.”

“Insecurity produces dominance.”

“We can preserve our physical virginity, but prostitute our hearts.”

“The ulterior motive of God is to bless you, not to use you.”

I didn’t ‘find‘ Jesus. I ran from Him and He pursued me and caught me.

“I refuse to allow the praises of men or the revilings of men to deter me from the will of God.”

“Are you deaf enough to the opinions of man, to fulfill the call of God on your life?”

“The most deceptive people in the world are deceived people who think they are speaking truth.”

I was made a sinner without sinning, and I was made righteous without being right.

“Judgement came after only one sin. Grace came after many sins. Which is stronger?”

“Do not make assumptions. They make bad theology.”

Brokenness…a condition of the heart that is becoming aware of its utter and complete need for God alone.

“When you [walk in] sin, something dies, and you don’t get to choose what dies.”

Brokenness is a lifestyle, not an event.

Will I fall on the Rock, or let the Rock fall on me?

I don’t want to miss the point of a position of authority. It is not about me, it is about raising others up.

Underleaders: Are passive. Only do what is asked of them. Overleaders: Aggressive. Do too much. Usually start out prideful. Both are marked by insecurity. Collaborative leaders: Humility dominates. They come with a vision. They ask “what do you think?”.

Pride will cause me to fight for my gifting.

I am an ambassador. I represent God everywhere I go.

The Kingdom cannot come without the Gospel.

The Kingdom coming means hearts are transformed. A Kingdom means there is a King.

“There are greater places in God than we have ever been.”

Fire will come upon my works. Only those done for Jesus will survive. Am I doing things to feel better about me? To gain a position? To promote me or my gifting? Motive matters!

“We will not be fascinated with the gifts, but fascinated with Jesus.”

“It is more about reliance on Him than development in me.”

For every “yes” you give to God, you give 1,000 “no’s” to the world.

“Life is at work in places because death is at work somewhere [in us].”

“None of us has the capacity to be the full revelation of God.”

“Living in bondage will cause us to forget our identity, and God’s identity.”

We cannot filter our beliefs through experience.

We cannot separate the voice of God from the Word of God. The more we are grounded in His Word, the more we will hear His voice.

If what drives us is the need to be somebody, we will not complete the call of God. It can’t be about us having a cause or a mission…it must be about God getting glory and people getting His salvation. It has to be about Him and Them.

I cannot confuse identity and mission. If I do, then when I fail (and I will), it will shake me. I will determine that my ministry success is my worth. And, I will reject what God speaks if it does not line up with what I believe to be my calling, ministry, gifting, etc.

“God, what is the next step of obedience for me?”

Fulfilling the great commission means putting a burden for others above my need for identity.

I can’t look at God’s mission through the very narrow lens of my part in it. I have to look at the whole mission, and then ask for my part.

I don’t need to hear, “well done, good and powerful servant”, or “well done, good and perfect servant”. Just let me be found faithful!

“What is God’s will for my life?” needs to be “what is God’s will?”.

Do I see what I have as mine, or as God’s?

“Any dingbat can be a problem finder. Leaders find solutions.”

Indicators of where my treasure is: what I spend my time on; what I talk about; what I am unwilling to give up; how I live my life.

Do not despise even the smallest provision.

I need to grow deep enough in God to handle not getting what I want when I want it.

They’re just drops of water. Scribbles from the journal of a thirsty woman who has found herself, by the grace and goodness of God, positioned in front of a fire hydrant. There is more, so much more, that I haven’t dripped out here.

Next weekend, we will go on our Fall Outreach, where we will share the gospel in Norman, Oklahoma, with our church plant there. In the spring, we will go on an international outreach to a location still unknown.

In between those two events, I will be found face first at the fire hydrant.

beautiful encounter

“Will you give me a drink?”

A tired, thirsty Savior came to a well to encounter a tired, thirsty outcast of a woman.

I find it to be beautiful.

My eyes take in the beauty of Jesus breaking through the barriers to come for her, and my heart is overwhelmed by the sacred conversation between a woman and God.

I am captivated by His words that reveal what He is most after here at the well.

“If you knew the generosity of God and who I am, you would be asking me for a drink, and I would give you fresh, living water.”

If you knew who I am.

This is what He’s after. This was no chance meeting on a hot day. This was Jesus, coming to a thirsty woman to offer her the only thing that would quench her thirst. Himself. Not just a sip. Not just a drink of Him on a hard day. His offer is a never-ending drink of God. A drink that would get into her so abundantly it would flow out of her.

Then He revealed what He knew of her. And it is right here that I find a deep beauty in this encounter. He wasn’t just uncovering her sin.

He knew her.

“Back in the village she told the people, “Come see a man who knew all about the things I did, who knows me inside and out.”

Then I hear what His disciples dared not speak out loud.

“Just then His disciples came back. They were shocked. They couldn’t believe He was talking with that kind of a woman. No one said what they were all thinking, but their faces showed it.”

So like us. Thinking His love should not cross our boundary lines drawn by hatred and religious bigotry.

They had their reasons for thinking that surely His love would not extend to someone they despised.

And we have ours.

I am struck by the beauty of a love that disregards the opinions of men.

A love that refuses to obey our rules.

The woman leaves and this beautiful story comes to a close. Almost.

“I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest.”

They saw a Samaritan woman, and would not have looked her way, let alone spoken with her.

He saw a woman who was thirsty. He saw a harvest.

John 4:1-38 – from The Message

coming up from rock bottom

We sat across from each other on the back porch, our bibles and papers fluttering in the afternoon breeze. We didn’t mind the occasional paper chase, since the breeze made the humidity bearable.

She is full of questions, this one, and I note the hint of suspicion in those questions. I am surprised that it stirred in me such a need to defend God. We hit the parables and her need to know why Jesus spoke in ways that everyday people couldn’t understand and I found myself struggling. And then like rapid fire we landed in the quagmire of the gift of tongues and why do we constantly praise Him when we pray before we ever get to the real praying part and what is this business of baptism in the Holy Spirit anyway?

(Speaking of Holy Spirit, I could use Your help right about now Sir.)

And oh yeah, there’s that book of Daniel and what does all that mean and then it came. That last question that formed over this…

“Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.” (Daniel 10:12)

If God is so quick to answer, why did He wait so long to rescue her from her pain? She had prayed all those years, but nothing happened.

And I felt the gentle come to my heart as Holy Spirit split the humidity of our atmosphere and sat down at our table.

With some questions of my own she revealed that in her time in the pit she had believed in God, even loved God, but wanted nothing to do with Jesus or the bible.

So in the flutter of bible pages and notes, I told my own “rock bottom” story. That for me, it was only when Jesus was my only option that I finally surrendered and it’s sad, but for a lot of us, rock bottom is what it takes. And then our eyes met and I spoke what I wanted her to get most from this conversation.

Rock bottom is not what God wants, and the fact that it is often what we require is a testament to our hearts, not God’s.

I saw the softening as she agreed, and talked of the day she finally said ok, she would give this Jesus a try and that was when everything began to change.

She said she wanted to do more of this, so I promised her that we would do just that, and that I look forward to it.

Because with all her questions and suspicions and talk of tongues being “hooey”, God’s heart is crazy about this woman. And He looks forward to sitting with her in her favorite spot on the back porch, on humid days, chasing papers that flutter in the breeze, waiting to answer the real question in her heart.

And I get to watch the unfolding of a love story as a woman comes up from rock bottom and falls in love with Jesus.

It never gets old.

it was just two cents but it moved His heart

“Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.” Mark 12:41-44

Oh woman, did you even know that your two cents mattered?

Once again Jesus has all but stopped my heart with who He is. He sat down to watch and then with His crazy, upside down kind of love He showed her off to His disciples. Showed off the one who gave the least, while others were giving the most. God made much of a poor woman and her pennies.

We all feel poor with no more than pennies, really.

(But if grace were pennies we could buy the world.)

And here is what I want to know. When she opened her hand and let her pennies fall, did she know it mattered?

And it led me to the real question hidden in my heart.

And so for days this widow with her pennies has been following me around until I finally saw what He wanted me to see. I saw Him sit down to watch, and I saw that it was the giving of all she had that moved His heart.

And I knew my heart had been asking the wrong question. It is not ‘do I matter?’.

What matters to You?

It is the giving of everything, everything I have to live on. That matters to Him. That moves Him. When all I have is two pennies of hope at the moment, I can give it away and move the heart of God.

Because I get poor in hope sometimes, don’t you?

I can be so very poverty stricken in patience, in love. “…but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

Every drop we pour out from our places of poverty matters to Him.

Every word written in the middle of the night because all we have are these words. Words that leave us vulnerable and exposed, and when we are done it feels like all we’ve given is two cents, buried under the wealth that others have given. But because it was all we had and we offered it up, it mattered to Him.

(I have to believe the words matter to Him, or they don’t matter at all.)

I may not move you. And if I matter to you, believe me I am grateful. But I have to wrestle that need to the ground and pin it tight.

Because what matters to Him has to matter more. Moving His heart must consume me more than moving yours.

Her pennies made no difference in anyone’s life, but they were all she had so she gave them up and it moved Jesus.

And it reminds me of another woman.

“A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

…Then He turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss,but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown.” Luke 7:37-48

Tears and perfume. Her love and her worship. It made no difference to anyone there, but it was all she had to give, so she gave it, and it moved His heart.

More than I want to matter, I want to move His heart.

Sometimes that’s all we have to give, isn’t it? Our love and our worship, coming out of imperfect, messy lives. Lives that matter to Him. Lives that make a difference because He is with us in the offering of our poverty. Whether we see it or not, feel it or not, our lives do matter. We matter. The enemy may tell us otherwise, but he is lying and he knows it. Because he was there that day.

He knows Jesus didn’t die for something that didn’t matter.

raise the bar

I was reading the story of the widow’s offering from Mark 12, and I really thought that’s what I would write about. But then I kept reading.

“As Jesus was leaving the temple, one of His disciples said to Him, “Look, Teacher! What massive stones! What magnificent buildings!” Mark 13:1

And all I could think was “we’ve set the bar way too low”. Impressing humans isn’t all that hard.

Got a lot of money? We’ll give you the best seat in the house and oddly enough, we’ll give you free stuff. Because you’re rich and we’re impressed and it makes perfect sense that dinner would be on the house.

Beautiful? Wanna know how impressed we are by your beauty? We will stop eating. Stop. Eating. And we will get cut on, injected, plumped up and rearranged so that we can look like you. Because you’re pretty. And we find that impressive.

Good at your job? So good you’re famous? Well then we’re gonna need your autograph, mister.

And if you’re a star in the sports world…forget about it. We are your best friend. We’ve got your back. Cause you hit that ball like a boss and that impresses us.

If you move us at all, you too can become the next best thing. The preacher, teacher, worship leader we all rave about and secretly wish we could be.

There’s a reason that the bar the world has set for impressiveness is so low. They don’t know God.

The Body of Christ has no excuse for a low bar.

“Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.” Isaiah 40:26

We know this God. He lives in us and we belong to Him. He is our Father and we are His children.

He has always been and will always be. He owns heaven and earth. He spoke the world into creation and formed a man out of dust. He can make mountains melt like wax and He gave the seas their limits. Demons tremble and darkness flees from His presence.

He hung every star and He knows their name and He knows the number of hairs on every head and every time a bird falls, He knows.

He brought water from a rock and rained down food from heaven. He keeps the snow and hail in storehouses and He knows where the lightning begins. The sun and the moon, light and darkness…they all obey His commands.

He can feed 5,000 people with a few fish and some bread and have leftovers. He walks on water, tells the storm to calm down and brings the dead back to life.

He stepped out of heaven to take the punishment for our sins. He died for sinners so that He could call them friends.

And because death could not hold Him, it will not hold us.

There is no power like His power and nothing, nothing at all can stand against Him. Nothing is too hard for Him. His Name is above every other Name and in that Name the blind see and the lame walk.

He pours out His Spirit and we dream dreams and we prophecy and we call Him Abba. Papa. Father. He pours out His Spirit and we are changed and we know what we never knew and we see what we had never seen.

He is clothed in splendor and majesty and the heavens and the earth declare His glory and rocks are ready to praise Him if we won’t. Rocks will praise Him if we won’t.

His throne is in heaven and ten thousand upon ten thousand angels encircle Him, crying “Holy!”. And all of heaven is waiting and the day will come when they will wait no more. The seals will be opened and the horses will be called forth. The day of reckoning will come upon the earth.

And those who are His will see their salvation at last.

Beloved, we should raise the bar for what impresses us.

i prayed today

So this morning I turned a table over. I prayed. I didn’t see angels or hear the Hallelujah chorus. I just slipped into the secret place and I talked to the One who was waiting for me there. Waiting to show me something.

“She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” (Genesis 16:13)

I said it out loud, several times. “You are the God who sees me.”

Until I could finally admit that I was uncomfortable with that.

It’s hard to be seen, especially when we are at our worst. People go to great lengths to look their best when they know people will be looking at them. Some women won’t leave the house unless they are in full makeup and every hair is in place. I count it a good day if my socks match, because frankly, that’s the best I can do.

But I need to be okay with being seen by God. It’s much scarier than being seen by people, because I know that He sees everything I can hide from you.

So that was my prayer today.

“Help me stop hiding. Help me be willing to stand before You as who I really, really am. I want to be comfortable under Your gaze, and right now I’m not.”

And His perfectly aimed response shook the secret place.

“Because you believe that all I see is what you see. “

Nothing is hidden from His sight. Holy and unholy, the pure and the impure. Selfishness and selflessness. Disobedience, and even the smallest act of obedience. Every weakness, every imperfection, and the grace that covers all of it. His eyes miss nothing.

But here is the truth that can bring a girl out of hiding, and to her knees…

He is the God who sees me, and He doesn’t look away.

I prayed today. It was good.

my money changers

I don’t know how to write about it so I’ll just put down words and see if they make sense.

I think there are money changers in the temple that is me. Yeah..how’s that for a start?

Every time I walk into my prayer room that hasn’t heard much prayer lately, I see my prayer journals that haven’t been written in much lately, sitting on the table. They stare at me. I stare back. Sometimes I stick my tongue out at them and walk away. I am a prayer-less woman with a prayer room and prayer journals. And guilt. Lots of guilt. Because I love prayer and I know the power of it, I know the importance of it and I haven’t been very engaged in it.

But God. He’s not one to just let a thing go now is He? He stares too, just like those stupid journals and I haven’t the nerve to stick my tongue out but I do walk away. But then there is my bible, sitting open right next to my keyboard. Open to this passage…

“When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem.In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. To those who sold doves he said,’Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!’ His disciples remembered that it is written: ‘Zeal for your house will consume me.'” John 2:13-17

While there are probably several reasons for Jesus’ anger, I believe the fact that they were in the temple courts, the only place the Gentiles could pray, is one of them. In the other gospels Jesus is recorded as saying that His Father’s house is to be a house of prayer. The money changers were in the place of prayer.

And then this came to mind…

“Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?” 1Corinthians 3:16

And that’s when the thought seeped it’s way into my frontal lobe.

“I think I have money changers in the temple.”

Things that have set up shop in the place they should not be, in the place of prayer. I can name a few of them.

Complacency. Fear. Worry. Unbelief. Busyness. Escape. I’m sure there’s more. Maybe some of them are even good things that have taken the place of the better thing. My money changers.

And you know what grieves me the most? It isn’t just that I have stopped interceding for other people, or that my journals have empty pages.

It’s that I’ve stopped talking to my Father. That’s why I wept tonight. Because I know He desires to hear my voice. He leans in for it. I know He waits for me to cry out to Him, to come to Him. He waits to answer what I’m not asking.

So I think there are some tables that need to be turned over. I think a little zeal is in order.

Thanks for letting me talk all of that out. It may not have made much sense to you, but talking about it helped me. Thanks for listening.

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