Tag Archives: Jesus

faith has to move

chairIt came to me as I stood on the chair, almost cutting off my head in the ceiling fan blades. Maybe not cutting off really, but the thwack of even a dull fan blade would have hurt. Anyway, that’s when it hit me. Right up there on the chair, in my little prayer room, as the woman on my couch looked on with a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face. And who could blame her? I’d have that look too if I was her and not me.

Faith is moving.

That’s what came to me as I stood on the chair trying to demonstrate trust to the poor woman on my couch. I stood there and pretended to fall back because I need visuals most times and I hoped she appreciated my attempt, awkward as it was. The look on her face never really changed, so I couldn’t tell.

Faith moves, even when we are “being still and knowing that He is God”. Because being still is movement too, I think. It takes a lot of trust to stay very still when you want to hide or get busy fixing this mess. Being still is still falling backward, as long you know that He is God.

trust1Faith is trust and trust falls backward into the waiting arms of God, knowing He will be there. It knows and it falls back and God always catches faith.

Faith reaches for the hem of the garment, falling backward into the Healer’s arms. “Take heart, daughter…your faith has healed you.” 

Faith follows, crying out for mercy the whole way. “Do you believe I can do this?”.  Blind men see because God always catches faith.

Faith steps out onto water and it speaks to mountains and it walks through the fire and all of it is letting go, knowing God won’t drop you.

I listened to the woman on my couch, heard her hard story, and her brand new, shaky, trying-to-believe faith that was keeping the needle out of her arm. As she talked, I could feel myself getting overwhelmed. It felt like that time last year when God said “Pack” and I was looking at 28 years of stuff and thinking there’s not enough boxes on earth and where do I begin?

shooting upSo faith reached for my Bible and He caught me there and said “tell her about love”. Because her life had been just so hard and when someone has been kicked around that much you have to start with the love that died for her before the needle ever left her arm, before she stopped being for sale. She needs to know that we don’t fall backward into anger or disappointment or “shame on you”. It’s love that has arms out to catch us.

And every little movement is faith – the reaching, the leaving, the following, the coming through the roof for your healing. This is the falling, the trusting, the letting go and believing He will catch you and not drop you.

Faith must move.

Because faith that stands still, unable to move, unwilling to even shift its feet? That’s not faith, that’s fear and there will be no falling backward in that. And every so often I have to repeat it to myself, God doesn’t catch what isn’t falling.

Today, let your faith move.

Reach for Him.
           Speak to a mountain.
                      Come through the roof to get your healing.
                                Step out of the boat. 
                                        If you don’t have enough, give anyway.
                                                    Share the gospel.    
                                                         Go.
                                                             Love.

God will catch you.

Matthew 9:22; Matthew 9:28-29; Matthew 14:29; Matthew 17:20; Romans 5:8;

it’s time to jump

high diveI only jumped one time. That was enough. When I take my mind back to that moment, I can still feel the fear. I saw others jump with ease, and go right back for more. I knew I could swim. I knew that the water was safe. I believed the mechanics of jumping, that if I went straight in, the water would catch me, I would touch the bottom and push my way back to the surface. And the one time I jumped, it happened just like that. I think I was crying when I got out of the water, and I never, ever climbed that high dive again. I remained terrified of jumping, but I never understood why.

(because believing and trusting are not the same)

I was watching a group of kids recently, barely toddlers. They were in the playroom at church, climbing up through the giant tubes and tunnels, sliding down and going right back for more. Only a few held back, content to go up the few steps so they could come down the small slide. But most of them were absolutely fearless. It never occurred to them that something bad could happen to them. We had led them in there and turned them loose to play, so they played with abandon.

(adults believe. children trust)

And then life happens. Hearts get broken. Innocence gets taken. We fall, we get hurt, we find ourselves alone. We learn the hard truth that not everyone is good, and sometimes, everything doesn’t turn out okay. Sometimes things just get worse. And fear comes in and bullies our trust into submission.

(“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”)

Jesus said we must change and become as little children. Change is a process. It takes time to grow from an adult into a child. To learn the truth that God is good. But time belongs to God and God cannot be bullied by fear. Instead, He sends love into the fight. And like ocean waves it just keeps coming, beating back the fear that keeps us from jumping. Because trust and fear do not dwell together, no sir, one of them must go, and God cannot be bullied.

Trust renders us dependent upon the one we are trusting. Isn’t that it, really? It’s the falling backward, trusting the one standing behind you to catch you that makes us vulnerable, wholly dependent on someone else’s ability to be trusted. No control. And isn’t the need for control the darkest place in our heart, after all? Isn’t that the biggest fear of them all?

(“but there is a God in heaven…”)

And the hardest thing about growing from an adult to a child is realizing that we never did have control. Not really. Some would call it an illusion. I think deception is a more fitting name.

Do I dare say my next thought? The one that keeps pulsing against my heart? Believing makes you safe. Trusting makes you dangerous.

(because believers rarely jump)

I am a believer, becoming a child who trusts. Because God has refused to be wave1bullied by my fear and love has been beating against my heart like ocean waves.

And He has me at the high dive again. I believe He is with me. I believe He is good. I believe He has good plans for me. But none of that will get me to jump.

I have to trust Him to catch me.

Luke 18:16; Matthew 18:3; Daniel 2:28

Note:  Many times Jesus asked, “do you believe?”, or He said that someone’s faith had healed them, etc. Both of those words contain, within their biblical definition, the word ‘trust’, and the idea of going beyond having a knowledge of something to actually trusting what you believe. In other words, when Jesus said “do you believe Me?”, He was asking “do you trust Me?”.

Webster’s dictionary does not use the word ‘trust’ in its definition of the word ‘believe’, and I am convinced that neither do many of us.

for you i pray

I wanted to tie 2012 up in a nice bow, bid it a fond goodbye, wax poetic about lessons learned and new beginnings and such. But my heart keeps turning away from all of that, bidding my mind to stop chattering long enough to just listen. And the weight of what I hear bends my heart, bowing it low. Voices from this past year. Conversations I’ve heard, words I’ve read. And I feel the Holy Spirit in this little room, this prayer room. I feel His weight on my heart as He reminds me to step out of my small story. And so I enter yours, with prayer…

hanging_by_a_threadFor those who spent this year hanging on by a thread. Maybe it’s a thread of hope. Maybe a thread attached to the hem of His garment, but a thread nonetheless. For you, I pray you will stop trying to trust Him. Trust is not something you try, it’s something you choose. He wants so much more for you than a thread of hope, a thread of trust. He wants handfuls for you. I pray that you will not be content with a thread in hand, but that you will let go of His garment and grab onto Him, and find your hands overflowing, unable to contain what you hold. For you, the thread holder, I pray ~

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

A year of both hands full of Christ, holding on to all of Him with trust and confidence, and hope that overflows. Both hands, beloved, grab onto Him with both hands, and let go of the thread.

PENTAX ImageFor those who suffered great loss and spent time in the ash heap of mourning. For you, the one now familiar with great sorrow and what surely feels like unquenchable pain. I pray you will know His comfort, like a balm, for that pain. I pray God opens His hand and pours forth joy, like oil over your mourning heart. I pray that at just the right time, His time, He will invite you to dance. Yes, beloved, you have known the time to mourn, but there is still a time to dance. I pray that this year you will receive grace to comfort others with the comfort you have received. I pray for all of your pain, all of your grief, every tear to be used, nothing wasted. And I pray that His promise will strengthen you on those days when grief attempts to hijack your heart ~

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

I pray that you will emerge from the ashes, steadfast and sure that all of this, the pain, the tears, the death, are all temporary conditions. That you will know and give others the hope that a reunion will happen, a holy hand will wipe away the last of the tears, and never again will you know this pain.

For those who spent the year afraid. Afraid something will never end, or perhaps that nothing will begin. Afraid of too much or not enough. Afraid that you didn’t hear Him right, or that you did. Afraid of what you feel, or of the fact that you feel nothing and maybe you never will. What if nothing changes? What if everything changes? For the one tormented by fear, I first pray peace for your wildly beating heart. I pray that this year He will lead you on a journey of letting go of fear. A journey of cliff jumping into faith, arms wide, heart fully expecting to be caught by His hands. I pray that you will know that He is with you, always, and that He will not drop you. I pray that your heart will come to know perfect love in the deep places where fear often hides. For you, the one who lived this year full of fear, I pray you will hear the voice of your Savior ~

“Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

I pray that this will be a year of increasing faith for you, the year where belief in the power and love of your God leaves no room for fear.

For the one who lived with disappointment. Unmet expectations that took the wind out of your sails throughout the year. Hopes and plans and dreams that fell apart. Your heart grows weary. I pray for you, dear one. I pray that this will be the year of renewed hope in God, and lower expectations in people. I pray that all of your hope, every last drop of it, will be in God and God alone. I pray for strength to hold on, and strength to let go. To let go of people and hold firmly to God, where your hope will find no disappointment. I pray that this year will find your prayers being answered, for God knows what hope deferred does to our hearts.

“But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear Him, on those whose hope is in His unfailing love…”

Hoist your sails again, friend, and lift your voice in prayer with confidence that your God hears, your God sees, and your God will answer. His love will not fail.

For the one who tried. You tried being good enough. Tried praying, tried church. Tried to read the bible full of words you don’t understand. Tried to be nicer. Tried saying the right things the right way, tried fitting in. You followed the list of do’s and don’ts. You tried, but your life is still a mess. Your heart is still empty and so are your pockets. Your addiction still rages, and your marriage is still broken. And you just don’t get it. For you I pray that this was the last year.

The last year that you remain pinned to the ground by the enemy. The last year that you live unaware of Love. Unaware that there is a Father in heaven who created you, longs for you, and gave up His Son so that you could know Him.

I pray someone will be brave enough to walk up to you and tell you the truth; that what you need is grace and trying isn’t currency to buy it with because grace is free, and only grace can put us back together and Jesus has the grace to give if you will just come. Come, while you are yet a sinner. While you are yet broken and messy, with all that rages in you and against you…come. I pray they tell you that trying won’t save you, it takes dying and Jesus did that dying for you.

cross1

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

For you, my messy, broken friend, I pray that this was your last year of trying. I pray this is the year you cry out to Jesus in faith that He is who He said He is…the only One who can save you. I pray this is the year you find freedom in Christ, and you find out just how loved you really are by Him. I pray this is the year someone tells you.

To all my friends, family, and those I encounter through the written word…I pray for you, and for me…

Our Father in heaven, Your name be honored as holy.
Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.And do not bring us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

Happy New Year!

Romans 15:13; Ecclesiastes 3:4; Revelation 21:4; Ephesians 3:17-18; 1John 4:18; Mark 5:36; Psalm 33:18; Romans 5:8; John 14:6; Matthew 6:9-13

beautiful words

“You will be with child and give birth to a son…“.

Suddenly, life was different than she thought it would be. Mary was blessed, highly favored, a virgin planning to be married, and live the life of a carpenter’s wife. She may have been dreaming of her wedding, perhaps even nervous about her wedding night. And in one moment, her small story gave way to a bigger story, as what had been possible gave way to what was impossible.

A virgin would give birth to God.

And from her came a most beautiful sound. “I am the Lord’s servant…May it be to me as you have said.”

doulos( The word is doulē – the feminine form of doulos.)

It is the sound of trust, of devotion, of one who does not count her life as her own. The sound of one who does not grip her own story, with all of its plans, hopes, and dreams. One who is willing to let her life bring forth God’s glory, no matter the cost.

It is the core of our Christianity, is it not? This impossible birthing of God from the womb of a virgin. Those of us who are followers of Christ do not question the truth of Mary’s story. What others celebrate once a year, we hold in our hearts every day.

Mary, blessed and favored by God. Chosen to carry Christ.

“To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

We too are blessed, having been chosen to carry Christ in us. The living God, dwelling in the hearts of those who follow.

So why is it so hard for us, this doulos life?

Christ is in us. God is for us. What do we lack?

What keeps us gripping our own story, our own plans, with our arms wrapped around our cisterns that do not hold water?

Christ is in us and God is for us. What should we fear?

That life will not go as we had planned? That we will not be in control? That our small story is all we have and if we lose that what is left? Are we afraid that what God has said is really true…that are lives are no longer ours to have and to hold?

I pray for us. I pray for me. I pray that by the power of Christ in us and God for us, we will stop. Stop gripping and fearing and chasing down what is possible.

This Christmas we will once again declare our faith in the impossible. Let us not stop there.

Let us turn, with our hands emptied of our own story, and speak beautiful words to God.

“I am Your doulos…may it be to me as You have said.”

 May our lives birth glory as we lay them down.

Luke 1:31; Luke 1:38; Colossians 1:27; Romans 8:31;

doulos

Woke up with a massive migraine. Took painkillers left over from the car wreck. Woke up five hours later feeling hungover, but the tiny people were no longer using giant sledgehammers on my brain. Now they’re just rubber mallets. Much better. Opened my bible, thinking Psalms, or maybe Song of Songs. Something soothing.

Instead I went to James. I’m as surprised as anyone. Who reads James when they don’t feel good? I don’t know, because I didn’t actually read James. I read the first sentence and then tripped.

doulos“James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ”…

I think his opening words meant much more to James and the first readers of his letter, than to us. In fact, I bet most of us just skim over those words,  because who pays attention to introductions? The writer is simply identifying himself.

James was the brother of Jesus, and at first did not believe his brother was the Messiah and openly opposed Him. But James eventually became a believer, and very well known in the Church. He was the leader of the church in Jerusalem, and a “pillar” of the Church, according to Paul. James could have identified himself using any number of words. Personally, I think most of us would have pulled out the “brother of Jesus” card for sure.

Who are you, James? “a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ”.

What comes to mind when you hear the word ‘servant’? I think of foot washing. I think of someone who does the menial tasks, the one who sets up the tables for a church event. I think of terms we use, such as “servant-leadership”, and “he has a servant’s heart”, and how those terms generally refer to “doing”. I have even said “I am a servant of Christ” myself, usually under my breath while I am doing something no one else would volunteer for. And in my best martyr’s voice.

In the Greek language, there are various words used for our one word “servant”, and they have different meanings and shades of meaning. To fit my definition above (minus the martyr’s voice), the word James would probably have had to use is ‘diakonos’:

~ one who executes the commands of another, especially of a master ~ the servant of a king ~ a deacon, one who, by virtue of the office assigned to him by the church, cares for the poor and has charge of and distributes the money collected for their use ~ a waiter, one who serves food and drink.

But the word he actually used to identify himself is “doulos”, or “bondservant”:

~ slave ~ one who gives himself wholly to another’s will ~ one who is devoted to another to the disregard of one’s own interests ~ those who’s service is used by Christ in extending and advancing His cause among men  ~ all who obey God’s commands; His true worshippers

Big difference. James identified himself not as someone who did things for God, but as someone who had willingly enslaved and bound himself to God. He was completely and utterly devoted to God and to Jesus, laying down his own will and interests. A bondservant is one who is completely given over to the one he serves. It is a position that expresses the absolute highest devotion.

It is no small thing to be a doulos of Christ. It is not something we can use to guilt convince people to volunteer to do more in the church.

dig deepThis kind of study and digging fascinates me, and I could literally spend hours and hours doing it. But my desire to go deeper, and to know the heart of God more, won’t be satisfied by a word study, unless it results in revelation from the Holy Spirit. It was when I was reading my study notes about the life of James that I got the revelation that took me deeper.

James was martyred in 62 A.D.  Not because he was a diakonos, but because he was a doulos. 

James, Paul, Peter, and Jude all identified themselves as bondservants (doulos) of Christ. In their letters to the churches, they give a very vivid picture of what the life, and the faith, of a bondservant looks like. They were obedient, crucified lives. These men weren’t spiritual super heros. They were filled with the Spirit of God, but they were mortal men who had made a choice, a decision to live life, all of life, for God and for the cause of Christ.

Everyone of them were killed for that decision.

How do I want to be identified? diakonos, or doulos? One can make me feel like a martyr, the other, given the right place and time, could actually make me one.

I probably should have gone to the Song of Songs. James wasn’t good for my headache.

worship music (or, worship God)

He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.” (Genesis 22:5)

Abraham was about to go “over there” to sacrifice his promised, beloved son, Isaac, in obedience to God, and he called it worship.

But where’s your boombox, Abraham?

music notesI believe we (the Church) have redefined worship. To many, if not most of us, the word “worship” is synonymous with “music”. In fact, you rarely hear those two words separately anymore in the Church.  We have worship songs, worship music, worship bands, worship services. We even have worship encounters.

But do we have worship?

As I searched the scriptures, I came to a startling conclusion:  music was not used for worship in the Bible, it was used for praise.  But we have so joined those two separate and distinct acts, that they are now defined by the type of music being played. If it’s a fast, upbeat “make you wanna dance and shout” song, then we are praising. If it’s a slow, contemplative, “make you sway and/or cry” song, we’re worshiping. Sunday services generally begin with “Praise and Worship”, and are even specifically formatted with a little “praise” at the beginning, some “worship” in the middle, and some really good “praise” at the end.

Am I right?

romans_12_1“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

In both Hebrew and Greek, the word means to bow, to prostrate oneself in homage to God, and in both the old testament and the new testament, worship involved sacrifice. In the old, they offered sacrificed animals. In the new, we offer sacrificed lives. Neither has anything to do with music.

Worship cannot be defined by a few hours on a Sunday morning of people singing, swaying and dancing to the latest worship songs. It can’t be defined by how well we were able to “enter in” based on how the band played and how the sound system was working that day.

Worship belongs to God, not to us. When we make it something we do for us, it is no longer true worship, it is self-worship.

Worship is not an experience or a response to a song. Worship is obedience to God’s command.

With all of that said…I LOVE the music in the Body of Christ! I love the gifts that God has given to the songwriters, musicians, and singers, enabling us to make a joyful noise, to praise Him, to exalt Him. And the win/win is that when we do that, we feel good, and we experience His presence because He inhabits the praises of His people.

Church, use the gifts of music that God has placed in you. Praise God, exalt God, make a joyful noise. Even make a slow, beautiful noise that makes me cry and put my face to the floor. But don’t continue to call music  “worship”, and don’t keep defining worship as an “experience” with God.

So here is the realignment, for me:  Do not reduce worship to the realm of music. Do not seek to worship God because you need to feel something. Learn to worship Him with your life. In the quiet spaces, in the difficult times and the good times, in the wilderness or on the mountain…worship God with a sacrificed, obedient life.

“Offer your bodies (the complete man) as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” 

If I continually seek after the next great song so that I can “experience” worship, but give little attention to my own obedience, to my own heart condition, then I am not a worshiper, I am just someone who likes good music.

Church, if you pour all your resources, time and efforts into creating the ultimate “worship experience” on Sundays (or any other day), but you are not teaching your congregation to live sacrificed, obedient, holy lives…then you are not a worshiping church, you are simply a church that has really good music.

Challenge (I’ve done this and, admittedly, it’s not easy, but it will shift something in you):

For one week, worship without music. In your quiet time with God, when you would normally pull up your playlist to start things off — don’t.  No “worship music” for one week. Instead, ask Him how you can obey Him that day, and then do it. Ask Him if there is something you are holding onto that needs to be sacrificed as an act of obedience. Then make the sacrifice. Worship God.

Let me know how it goes!

she did what she could

I cannot leave the gospel. My fingers flip pages and my eyes scan words and stories and always I am drawn back. I am searching for the heart of the One I love and He keeps bringing me back to the beginning. This is my journey. My story. Good news hammering against the rocks.

“Leave her alone,” said Jesus, and the hammer came down, making my breath catch.

“While He was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on His head.

Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly.

“Leave her alone,” said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me.  She did what she could.“ (Mark 14:3-8)

She did what she could. And against the harshness of men, He rose up protective.

This is for you. For me. For all the ones who do what they can. For the ones who hear the harshness of

not enough

too much

you should have

you shouldn’t have

The ones who long to bring what they have and just pour it out over Him because we can do nothing else.

For those of us who will never feed five thousand, but spend the last five minutes of our weary day feeding on Him.

For those who will never lead thousands into the Kingdom, but will live face to the ground praying for the one.

For all the ones who will never do great and mighty things, but who choose to put one foot in front of the other to follow Him in a harsh world.

Broken hearts broken open, poured out

Broken prayers flowing like perfume

Fleeting, weary moments given to Him

Songs we refuse to let fear silence

He will protect it all. He will honor every bit of it.

This is the Heart I found today.