Jesus – Page 21 – Karla Jo Wasion

dearly beloved

Dearly Beloved,

I am praying for you. I don’t know why you feel the way you do. I don’t know why your mind is dark and your heart is heavy. I wish I could fix it but I can’t. I am not your healer. So today I approach the throne of grace with boldness on your behalf. Because your Healer is on that throne and He is good and He is mercy and He loves you.

Beloved, you were not made to tread water, gasping to get the air you need as you go under again. This going under and barely making it through each day is not the destiny your Father has for you. Today I pray that He will call you to walk upon the waters that are threatening to drown you. And when He calls, I pray you will stand up and walk.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

Dry bones are not your portion. That valley is not your home. So today I ask for the breath of God to blow upon your soul. I ask that life would stir in your bones and in your heart. Today I declare that the thief cannot have you, for you are not his to take. You belong to God and God breathes life and not death because He is alive and has called you to life. Beloved, God Himself is your portion and He holds your future and He is good. I pray that every scheme set against the life God has called you into will be brought down by His mighty hand. Today, I call out to dry bones to come alive.

“Contend, Lord, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me.”

As David cried out, so I cry out. Because you see, I know that your God fights for you. You don’t feel it, may not even believe it, but I know it to be true. Because you are His and your enemy is His enemy and when He arises, that enemy scatters. So I cry out for you and I ask your Father and mine to rise up on your behalf and contend for you. I pray that His presence will be felt by the darkness, and by you, setting the enemy to flight and giving you rest in your Father’s shadow.

“He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.”

Today I am asking that the Healer of hearts will heal yours. I pray that the wounds that have led you here, to this place of despair, will be exposed to the Light and covered by the healing hand of God. I pray that whatever is holding you captive would hear the voice of your Savior pronounce freedom over you today and that darkness would be compelled to release its’ hold. Because the Son of heaven was sent for you and all authority was given to Him. That leaves none for the enemy of your soul.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.”

So right here, before the throne of grace, I declare the truth of God. You are not defined by your feelings, but by God’s heart for you. You are chosen and you are holy and you are God’s. I pray that today you will break your partnership with the lies of the enemy that tell you anything other than what God has spoken over you. Beloved, you are not who you think you are, but who God says you are.

You were not made to despair. You were not made to feel hopeless. You were made to praise.

So today I pray that despair and hopelessness will be overcome by praise rising from the heart of His beloved. I pray that by the Spirit of God living in you, praise will erupt and lies will break and truth will overtake the darkness that hovers over your mind. Because praise is a weapon and it shuts the mouth of the liar and opens the heart of the downcast.

Dearly beloved….

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

John 10:10; Ps 35:1; Isaiah 61:1; 1Peter 2:9; Romans 15:13

dear friend

Dear Friend,

I prayed for you last night and before I could really say much at all He showed me a picture and gave me words.

“That horse was made to run, but he fights the narrow place that is the starting gate, because he can’t see beyond it.

He fights the narrow place because he can’t see that it is the gateway to what he was created to do.

He fights because he’s afraid of the narrow place.”

I thought about this picture and these narrow places that some horses and some people fight. What I think, my friend, is that it’s mostly about trust.

So I have to ask…do you trust God? Do you trust that in the narrow place what hinders you will be stripped from you because He’s preparing you to run? Because narrow means nar.row. Pride and fear and the need to control just don’t fit in this place.

Do you trust that even though it feels like the sides of this place are pressing you hard and there’s no room to move here, God is in this narrow space with you and He brought you here for a good purpose?

Do you trust that the gate will open? Because it will. And you will run, because you were made for it my friend.

You were made to be more than afraid.

And friend, there is someone else who is afraid of your narrow place. Someone who will do anything to keep you out of it.

Someone who watched as Jesus went into a narrow place called Gethsemane, and watched as He came out of that narrow place headed for the cross and nothing was going to stop Him and just look at what happened.

So you aren’t the only one fighting that narrow place. But you are the only one who will come out of the fight victorious.

Because you have God on your side. He is for you, not against you. His plans for you are good and His plans will prevail and you will live your destiny. He is before you and behind you and on every side. You will be victorious because the liar and his lies will bow to the Truth that lives in you and in the narrow place a stronghold will crumble.

You will go into that narrow place and there God will prepare you for what is on the other side of that gate and you will come out running.

Because you were made for this.

So anyway, just wanted to let you know I prayed for you last night. God showed up. It was good.

Love,

Your friend

broken and whole

She showed me her little clay pot that was a lovely shade of blue. I was surprised at how beautiful it was. Beautiful and cracked. Broken and whole. Jagged lines ran up and down and sideways all over it. It wasn’t hard to figure out what had happened.

Because when something has been broken and put back together…it shows.

It was therapeutic for her. She took the pot and smashed it and it helped something inside of her. And then she found the pieces and glued them back together and that helped too. Sometimes, we need to see something broken and put back together to really believe there is hope, you know? Hope that we can be put back together. Hope that even though our brokenness shows, we are still beautiful.

I saw the clay pot with jagged lines and I thought of my own jagged lines and I know God’s voice and He spoke that day.

‘Light shines best through vessels that have been broken.’

Trying to live this life on our own terms doing it our own way living far from God breaks our lives and our hearts and our very souls. And the prayer is that the breaking will lead to broken.

Because repentance is brokenness and it turns us from what is breaking us.

Brokenness is clinging to Jesus because we’ve discovered our greatest need is Him. Brokenness praises Him through pain and things we don’t understand because we know that no matter what He is God and He is good. Brokenness raises hands in surrender not fists in defiance and finally drinks in the grace that puts us back together with jagged lines.

And broken vessels are always amazed by the grace that makes them whole.

Life can break us hard but grace leaves us sweetly broken and grace makes us whole. I’ve had the breaking and I’ve been broken and I want to see beauty, not shame, in my jagged lines. I want light to dance from these places put back together by grace. Places where the light shines best.

I am not enough

Reading the words of John and I knew I was missing a point somewhere. So I did what I do when I’m stuck in this age. I went there to that age, to that mountainside. I put myself among the ragamuffins and I looked at what they saw and I listened to what they heard. And the point I was missing found me.

Then Jesus went up on a mountainside and sat down with His disciples. The Jewish Passover Festival was near.

When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward Him, He said to Philip,“Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” He asked this only to test him, for He already had in mind what He was going to do.

Philip answered Him, “It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!”

Oh Philip. Come stand by me because we both see the same thing here.

You and I see impossible. There’s just too much here to fix. Too many, too much and not enough. Pockets and heart are both kinda empty so how on earth can these ‘too many’ hungry ones be fed? How can so many be helped when there’s not enough to give?

When our eyes are on the great crowd of need and not on the Bread of Life, impossible is all we see.

And sometimes we don’t realize that the testing of our faith is a test of Who we see in the midst of seeing impossible. And I have been overwhelmed of late. My eyes have been fixed on the crowd with their heads down and their hands out and my not enough keeps getting bigger.

And Jesus took a little boy’s not enough and made it more than enough but I’ve stopped offering up my not enough. Because just like ragamuffin Philip all I see is the hunger while I am right there in the presence of the Bread.

I see broken and hungry and lost and hurting but I don’t see an answer and Jesus is wondering if I see Him.

Because every need I see is a need for Him, not me.

I am not enough for the sea of needs around me. I am not enough for the outstretched hands and hearts that clamor for filling. I am not enough to fix what is broken or heal what is hurting.

But every need I see is a need for Him, not me. That’s the point that found me on that mountainside as I looked at the impossible with Philip.

Five loaves and two fish was not enough. It will never be enough. But placed into the hands of Jesus it will be more than enough.

John 6:5-7

on my way to unearthly things

“As Jesus was on His way, the crowds almost crushed Him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her.” Luke 8:42-43

He was on His way and I think of how often I am on my way. He stopped and I think of the times I haven’t. And then I’m not reading anymore, I’m thinking and then I’m pacing because I don’t like these thoughts but He is the one bringing them up and you can’t stop Him. You just can’t. Like a dog on a bone, He is relentless.

It’s a small house and I quickly run out of rooms to go in and back out again. When there is no way out from under His gaze the pacing stops and I let Him teach my heart what it needs to learn. Because as much as I want to run (pace) away from seeing what is about to be exposed, I want to be like Him.

Life as a Jesus follower can’t be lived on my way to something else.

He was on His way but He stopped for that one. That needy one who was looking to get something from Him. The beggar with her hand out to grab onto hope. Living like Him means stopping like Him. Stopping for the one in front of me. The one desperate for something I have.

But I’m always on my way. Work, class, errands and a life that can’t wait. Sometimes I’m just on my way to the couch because I’m tired from being on my way all day. And true to form I try to argue my point with God. Life is busy and my plate is so full and there are just some things, things that aren’t a couch, that can’t wait while I stop. Important things.

Lesson: Don’t sit down at the table with God no matter how good you can shuffle. He will always have the trump card.

“I was on My way to raise the dead.”

I want to be like Him. I want to follow Him where ever He goes, because I just can’t live without Him. I want to run my race slow enough to stop when He stops for the one in front of me. I want to see the needy, the hungry, the desperate ones that are on my way to somewhere else.

I sat down to spend time in His Word and I ended up with the thoughts on this page. Thoughts that I need to slow down, take notice. And then I laugh right here and now as I realize what God was really after. This one final thought that sinks in past my mind and into my heart.

I want to be on my way to raise the dead.

I don’t want to be on my way to work anymore. I want to be on my way to speak life to someone at my workplace. I don’t want to be rushing to get to class, I want to be on my way to speak encouraging words to someone in that class who needs to hear them.

I can stop going to the grocery store to buy groceries and be on my way there to tell the weary woman in the check-out line that Jesus loves her and has strength for her.

And now I find myself not pacing but clinging once again to His feet making a mess with my tears. He always goes so deep when He encounters us, you know? He didn’t show up in my bible reading moments just to tell me to slow down and pay attention.

He showed up to teach me that while He was on this earth, He was always on His way to something unearthly. And to invite me to follow Him while I’m on my way.

i have to stop drinking

It was an off-handed comment, really. She and I were discussing God things, and “love your neighbor” came up. Without thinking I added “as yourself” and I saw a look pass across her face and I knew, so I said it. Looking into her eyes, I said: “you haven’t loved yourself, have you?”. And we both began to cry. Since then I can’t stop thinking about it, those words Jesus said… “love your neighbor as yourself“.

agapaō

“to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly”

Because what was true for the woman across from me, is true of me. Neither of us has loved ourselves well…I was just better at hiding it.

But we both live in a world that drinks down self-loathing that goes deep into hidden places.

So she and I are not alone but it is my story here on this page and I tell it in the hopes that we can all stop drinking what is killing us. Because God doesn’t let things hide forever, you know. He is light and those hidden things can run but, well, you know the rest. And when what is hidden is hit by light it can take our breath away with this realization…

If I loved my neighbor as I love myself, I would find their every flaw and never let them forget them. I would remind them of them every. single. day.

I would not be kind… to their bodies or their emotions. I would call them names. Not truth names, but lie names. Instead of “beloved, chosen and forgiven”, I would call them “unworthy, messed up, and incapable of going one stinking day without stepping in sin.”

I would make them work harder and harder to try to get it right, and every day I would judge them for getting it wrong.

I would berate them for not being better. I would compare them to others, and they would always come up short. And sometimes I would wish they were someone else.

But now that light has shot into deep places, what was hidden in the dark squirms in discomfort. I can no longer be comfortable telling someone else they are worth loving if I cannot say it to me.

And right there God draws His bottom line in my sand of self-hatred and unworthy thinking. And if I am to step across the line, I must be willing to speak truth to me before I can speak it to you.

I am worth loving because God loves me and He does no unworthy thing.

He is good to me. He is kind to me. He is oh so merciful to me, and gives grace in abundance. He does not finger point but lovingly corrects me. He delights in me, sings over me and surrounds me with Himself. I was forgiven, I am forgiven, I will be forgiven because the blood of Christ leaves a stain sin cannot wipe away. I am called to imitate my gloriously good Father, and live a life of love and that means loving and not hating me. It means calling myself names that are true and not lies, treating me kindly both body and soul, giving me grace when I fail, taking His correction and refusing my condemnation. It means looking past all that I am not and seeing ahead to all that He has destined me to be.

It means I have to stop drinking what is killing me.

drum beats

It began with Believing for Wonderful. Then there was a teaching in the discipleship school. We wrote on a name tag the negative word that describes how we really tend to identify ourselves. My name tag was too small. I wrote Insecure because it was the least revealing and I wasn’t ready for this class of 33 strangers to know that I could have covered my whole body in name tags.

And I hated that this door had been opened because I’ve marched to the rhythm of what is behind it and I don’t know another way to march.

I want to slam that door but God opens doors that no man can close.

And now my soul is open and my name tags have been exposed and I can feel the beat of the liar playing my song full of ‘you are’s…’ and ‘you are not’s…’. And I know I get to choose but choosing is hard when you’ve marched this long to one song. Even when you know the song is a lie.Continue reading “drum beats”

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You were made to be more than afraid.

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‘Light shines best through vessels that have been broken.’

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When our eyes are on the great crowd of need and not on the Bread of Life, impossible is all we see.

Because every need I see is a need for Him, not me.

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agapaō

But we both live in a world that drinks down self-loathing that goes deep into hidden places.

If I loved my neighbor as I love myself, I would find their every flaw and never let them forget them. I would remind them of them every. single. day.

I am worth loving because God loves me and He does no unworthy thing.

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